What's on Your Mind?

28

Yoongi brought the younger’s face in front of him, hands squishing his bread cheeks, thumbs wiping away stray tears, “And you don’t know how much hyung just wanted to hug and kiss you, and just be by your side.” A small smile appeared on Taehyung’s face, putting Yoongi’s mind to rest. They leaned their foreheads together, eyes closed and gentle smiles resting on their lips. “And even though we had this rough patch I just want us to be okay and more open. It’s okay to be insecure and embarrassed but you need to tell me when you’re uncomfortable. I want to make you feel good, okay?” 

Taehyung leaned in to kiss Yoongi on the lips. It was soft and quick but sweet. “I know, thank you. And, I really like you too hyung. So much. I’m sorry.” He whispered, tearing up again. Yoongi’s thumbs brushed his cheeks as he kissed him. “Shh, hyung’s sorry too. Don’t worry. Now come on, have you eaten anything yet?” They separated but still stayed close together, almost afraid to break the sweet moment in two. With a slight nod Taehyung watched as Yoongi stretched and rose, pulling him up by the arm. “That’s okay, you can still accompany me while I eat. Then we can have something sweet and watch a film or something. Sounds good?” 

Taehyung sat watching Yoongi eat the prepared dinner, occasionally stealing a fry from his plate when he thought the other wasn’t looking, despite Yoongi being fully aware. Namjoon walked through the dining room with a mug of tea, humming to himself and almost startled at seeing the pair squashed together at the head of the table, almost sharing a plate of food and talking together in hushed voices. “I see you two are getting along just fine. Nothing to worry about in the end then?” He leaned against a chair with a kind yet teasing grin. Taehyung looked at Namjoon and then to Yoongi as if asking for guidance. 

“Yup, just a small misunderstanding. Nothing we can’t get through, right Tae?” Yoongi said, pulling up his hand which was now interlaced with the younger’s. A symbol of their forgiven disagreement, a well known trait; hand holding. Namjoon laughed and then excused himself, thoroughly pleased that the two had resolved the situation well and were back to their unique mannerisms. Taehyung covered his smile with his hands, trying to hide from the giddy feeling that bubbled in his chest. He knew there was more to the simple hand holding and that made his heart flutter. Especially when their leader left the room and Yoongi’s hand still lay clasped in his own.

“Okay, pudding time.” Yoongi said as he pushed aside his plate and sipped his ice water. But he didn’t make a move to get up. Neither of them moved as they just sat and stared at each other. Eventually, Yoongi got up with a groan, moved around Taehyung to ruffle his hair and reached for the freezer where he pulled out a pint of ice cream and moved to find two tea spoons. Yoongi suggested they go to the living room where they could mingle with the others before bed, as he washed up his dishes. Taehyung found Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok watching a movie on the long sofa and curled up in the armchair. No one spoke, fully engrossed in the film, even when Yoongi joined and squashed in with Taehyung. The room was dark and the atmosphere was cosy putting the members in a sleepy mood.

“Hey, if you’re feeling tired you can just fall asleep, I see you nodding away.” Yoongi whispered into Taehyung’s ear. The younger’s hair tickled his lips and cheek as he leaned in closer. Taehyung’s face slowly turned in his direction. His eyes were illuminated by the TV causing them to twinkle and sparkle. “Oh you’re so cute.” Yoongi thought Taehyung looked like a deer caught in headlights. Yoongi grinned, baring his gummy smile, watching as the corner of the younger’s lips twitched into a faint smile too. The brunette was clearly exhausted and that small cry he had earlier must have added to the lack of energy. 

“Let’s go to bed now, okay.” Yoongi said. He didn’t want to leave this cosy yet cramped environment but he needed to get his little bear in bed before he fell asleep in an awkward position. So he stood up, taking their empty ice cream tub and spoons in one hand and Taehyung’s in the other and guiding them back through the kitchen. He didn’t need to let the others know where they were headed and just silently got ready for bed together, listening to the sounds of the night. 

Tucked tightly in Yoongi’s bed the duo lay in the darkness reflecting on their day. “Hyung, can I ask you something?” Taehyung felt Yoongi reach for his hand under the duvet and give it a small squeeze. “Do you think we will always be friends?” 

“The members or just you and I?” Yoongi’s voice was soft and quiet, on the edge of sleep but still awake enough to ponder.

“Both. Do you think we will ever get to a point where we drift apart naturally? Like, growing away from one another.” Taehyung’s voice was calm but there was a hint of sadness. This made Yoongi wonder if this was a frequent thought occurring in Taehyung’s mind.

“Um, not necessarily. I mean if it ever happened, then I guess it was meant to be. It had happened with people I know so I wont say it’s impossible, but if we ever drift after disbanding then I guess we never really had such a close bond after all. I don’t know Tae, it seems so impossible that I can’t really imagine it.” He looked in the direction of the younger, squeezed his hand again and continued, “Don’t dwell on such extremities, okay. Whether we’re on stage or in care homes we will always be bangtan okay?”

“Hmm, and what about us?” There was a minute of silence.

“Well, I’d like to imagine that we will stay together till the day we get sick of one another.” 

“Mmm, I hope that day never comes.” Taehyung said, the sadness in his voice now replaced with a sweet happy tiredness which filled Yoongi’s heart with warmth.