To Do List (gretson)

We're all pretty lonely

...

They stared at each other for a while. Joey was humming to an Alanis Morissette song, focused on the road ahead, totally foreign to the tension being built between these two women.

Greta moved forward a little and Carson held her breath. They were so close. And getting closer. Greta inhaled, breathing Carson's scent in. All around them felt warm, and Carson started to move her hands nervously on her lap. That movement caught Greta's attention, and so did the wedding band on Carson's restless hands, so Greta moved back away.

"You should put this one on Instagram", Greta showed her the smiling picture, "and this one for Twitter", the one sticking out the tongue.

"Ok", Carson breathed out once she realized she'd been holding her breath.

"So, who are you looking for?", Greta asked curiously once the accounts were ready to go.

"Just a couple of friends from high school".

"Really?" Greta asked in disbelief. "Most people hate to meet high school friends after leaving high school".

"They were nice. And the last friends I remember having. After they left Lake Valley and I got married, it was always my father, my sister, my husband, and the people in their circles", Carson smirked, and Greta smiled in a supportive way. "I know what you're thinking, poor thing she doesn't have any friends".

"Look, I just have Jo and May. I was mostly alone in high school when Jo came into the picture, I was already 19, waitressing in a small pub where they went to play the guitar. What I mean is that it is nice you actually have somebody from high school you'd like to reach out to. And we're all pretty lonely in this world, so don't be embarrassed about it".

Carson just nodded and typed Maxine Chapman on the Instagram search and soon enough found Max's profile. Shirley was among Max's followers, so she wasn't hard to find either.

"Post a picture, so that they actually see it is you once they've accepted your request", Greta suggested.

"Isn't the profile picture there for this reason?".

"It's too small, let's go, take a selfie".

"Well, come on the selfie too then, c'mon", Greta looked weirdly at her, "what?".

"You sure you want a picture of us to be your first?".

Carson didn't understand why this was such a big deal, but she felt really strongly about taking a picture with Greta right now and posting it as her first-ever social media content.

"Yeah, I'm sure".

So they took the picture, smiling, faces side by side, eyes almost closed because of the sun coming in from the window.

Carson looked at the photo and seemed satisfied. Below she chose a sunflower emoji.

"You know what an emoji is", Greta cheered, teasing.

"You're so mean to me", Carson pouted but smiled.

Joey overheard every bit of their conversation. Quietly, but attentively. All the teasing and also the soft bits, the getting to know each other parts, the oversharing of feelings, they knew what was happening, they'd been there with May five years before. And although they were always very protective of Greta after Dana, and definitely aware of the fact that Carson was married, they could still feel something was different this time. Something was right.

...

"Oh!" Carson said out loud.

She had befriended Greta and Jo on Instagram already and Greta had shown her how the whole thing worked.

"What?" Greta asked, turning sideways, she was back again in the front seat.

"They've accepted my request, both of them", Greta smiled softly, but didn't say anything, so Carson kept talking, "oh my God, I'M SO HAPPY! Max is a fucking foreign correspondent in Madrid, she lives in MADRID. And-and Shirley is living in PARIS, no idea what she does, but she looks so fancy. I can't believe they actually remembered me??? Oh my God, Chapman just sent me a message on this messaging thing inside Instagram".

"It's called direct messaging", Greta chuckled and so did Jo.

"Which means only I can see it, right?", Carson asked, blushing.

"Yeah, why?", Greta asked.

"No-nothing", Carson answered, blushing even more.

Max had sent her a DM quoting Carson's post, the selfie with Greta, and had written: Jesus f*cking Christ Carson I can't believe you've scored like this is this your girl???

Carson typed she's just a friend with trembling hands, and Maxine answered with: introduce her to me next time I'm in the US then!!! And then: no for real now, it's been ages, next time I'm in the US I'll let you know so we can meet, REALLY, wait til I tell Shirley you're on Instagram now. SHE'LL LOSE IT.

And sure enough not a minute after that, Shirley's message came in. And apparently, she hadn't heard from Max yet. WHAT THE F*CKIN F*CK CARSON you're on Instagram now??? I thought we had lost you to your books for good. Btw what've you been reading lately? I'm actually in need of some new books... to buy for my customers, yes, I have this little coffee shop-meets-library place in Paris, you would LOVE IT. You need to come. Really. Send me a date. I'm telling Max the aliens have released you from captivity.

Carson smiled from ear to ear. Shirley was just as nuts as she remembered her. And right now the idea of traveling to Paris to visit a friend didn't seem so impossible to Carson. So she just answered: it's SO good to hear from you, Shirl. I talked to Max just now. Right now I'm on the road to New York, but we should totally plan this me-in-Paris thing. And Shirley got back immediately: hold that thought, I'm writing to you as soon as I can with EVERYTHING you need to know before your first trip to Paris.

Carson's smile didn't go away for the next few minutes. She read and reread those messages, with Shirl and Max, and she felt loved. These people remembered her and welcomed her back as if no time had passed. She missed that, that easy connection. The only friend she had after them was her husband, and she had to admit that after they got married, they became less like friends every day.

Carson was so concentrated on all of those great feelings, she didn't notice Greta's eyes on her. Greta was watching her smile, the way her dimples appeared when she was happy like that, the restlessness of her feet tapping the car floor, the way she bit her lower lip in excitement.

Greta quietly took her phone out of her pocket and took a picture of Carson, so smiley and blushing like that, she was beautiful. Greta posted it on her Instagram Stories, making sure to tag Carson in it.

Carson clicked on the push notification and found herself on Greta's Instagram Stories. There was no caption on the picture, but below it on the DM, Greta had typed: happiness looks good on you.

Carson tilted her head up to look at Greta. They were both flushed. It wasn't the first moment they looked each other in the eyes and felt like that, like there was so much happening just below the surface, hidden not so deep down, like a secret ready to be told.

...