To Do List (gretson)

Promise?

...

"Greta, Jesus, stop running," Joey asked, their voice hitching from the effort of talking while jogging behind Greta, "fuck, you can be so stupid when you're scared, slow down, please," they asked again.

"I can't, I need to go, I can't deal with this, I just can't."

Greta was crying, she didn't stop moving, so Joey kept going, they weren't about to give up on their dumb best friend.

"Greta, you're not thinking. Carson's still there. Why are you running away?" They tried to reason with her.

It was hard to breathe and sob and jog at the same time. Greta stopped, massaging her own chest, trying to get her heart to stop racing and her breathing to get back to a normal rhythm. Joey reached her and blocked her way to make sure she wasn't starting to run again anytime soon.

"They never pick me," she whispered to Joey, her lower lip trembling, "Dana didn't pick me. Why would Carson? She has a husband, she has a life with him, who am I? We just met, this was always going to be a fling, he was right after all, it's what it was always supposed to be, a fling."

"Well, maybe. But you fell in love," Joey pointed out the obvious fact.

"I did," she whispered.

"Well, finally," Joey said, "I thought you'd never admit it."

"It doesn't matter," Greta barely got the words out. "She's never leaving him, he's convincing her to stay."

"It didn't seem like it back there," Joey tried to reason with her.

"I've got nothing to offer her, Joey, she lives in Idaho, and I... I live everywhere and nowhere. How could it possibly work?" She asked, eyes wide, desperate, sad.

"We'll make it work," Greta heard Carson behind her.

She turned on her heels to look at her, drawn by Carson's raspy and choky voice.

Carson was flustered, Greta could see she had come running down the blocks. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were wet with tears, but she looked so beautiful for some reason. They locked eyes and Greta sighed.

She loved Carson's dark eyes, shiny and inquisitive.

She loved the way Carson looked at her, taking her time, her focus never faltering, as if she wanted to memorize everything about Greta.

Greta looked down and away from Carson's eyes, and she could feel the doubt creeping in again. She'd seen love like this before. She'd seen it in Dana's eyes. Or she thought she did. But Dana's eyes were always so dull... so blue, so beautiful, but always so distant.

Carson's eyes were vivid and they were right there. She looked up again to see them and they weren't willing to let go... Could it be true? Could this be possible? Or was she just in to hurt herself one more time?

"Greta, I..." Carson started.

Her name coming out of Carson's lips in her low voice made Greta's chest expand like a breath of fresh air. At the same time, it made Greta want to start running again, away from so many feelings. And just as she had stopped, Greta started running again. There was too much on her mind, she couldn't just stay still. But Carson wasn't ready to let her go, so she followed her, leaving behind May and Jo who were calling their names, trying to reason with them, and make them stay put and talk properly. But Greta was too confused, and Carson was too invested in not letting Greta go.

"Greta, please," Carson begged, "wait, let me tell you," she gasped, "let me tell you how I feel, how this feels. I hate that he said that, and I hate that it hurt you, and I'm sorry. But, please, don't walk away from this, 'cause I won't."