Hate

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*you - multiple individuals from my life


I don't hate you, I hate what you did to me.

I don't hate you for giving me wings and showing me how to fly, but I hate the fact that you cut them and then pushed me into thin air.

I don't hate how you pushed me to succeed, to be the best that I could be. I hate how you made me feel like a failure when I fell short like I was never good enough for you. I hate how you used my mistakes against me, making me feel like I was worthless and incompetent.

I don't hate how much you changed me, but I hate the monster you created...I don't hate all our memories, but I hate the fact that I can't forget the worse ones...

I don't hate the cuts that you craved into my soul, but I hate the scars that are left there.

I don't hate your harsh words, but I hate how much they still hurt me... I hate how those words still echo in my mind, how they make me doubt myself and my worth.

I hate how I can't escape the memory of your touch, the way it felt like fire burning through my soul. I don't hate you for trying to use me, but I hate the way you forced me and blamed me for it...I hate your plans and intentions.

I don't hate how you tried to prepare me for life, but I hate how tough and cruel you made me be, emotionless. I hate how it made me distrustful and wary of everyone around me, how they made me feel like I can never truly connect with another person.

I don't hate you, but I hate the way you made me see life...I hate that you changed my "living" into surviving.

I don't hate you, but I hate what you did to me. I hate how you changed me, how you made me into someone I don't recognize. I hate how you made me hate myself, how you made me feel like I will never be good enough. I hate how you took away my happiness, my joy, my hope.

But most of all, I hate how you made me feel like I deserved it all.

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