Solitude

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Loneliness is an emotion that has unexpectedly resurfaced in my life, catching me off guard and causing an immense amount of pain. 

Even though I have experienced this feeling before, it still came as a shock to feel it again. The longing for someone to hold me and make me feel loved has become almost unbearable, leaving me with a deep ache in my heart. I miss my family so much, and the thought of being away from them for so long is almost too much to bear.

In the past, I had convinced myself that I loved solitude and found comfort in it. However, as time has passed, I have come to realize how much I truly avoid it. I have realized that I often seek out distractions to avoid being left alone with my thoughts. I have come to understand that being alone with my thoughts can be uncomfortable and can bring up difficult emotions that I would rather avoid.

Although I do still find some comfort in solitude, I have also come to understand that it can be a double-edged sword. It is easy to become lost in one's own thoughts and feelings, and it can be difficult to find a way out. Sometimes, it feels like there is no escape from the overwhelming sense of loneliness that I am experiencing.

Solitude, for me, feels like a warm hug that leaves me freezing, reminding me of the emptiness that I am trying to avoid.

What is solitude to you? 

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