ONCE AGAIN

part 59

Everything is set for Heng's wedding taking place next week. Becky will equally be coming back soon. I can't wait to see her. I am at Kate's place and Nam is equally here with us.

"So Freen is finally settling down" Nam said and they both laughed.

"Love can happen to anybody" kate said.

"To think that she will stay with one woman without cheating for the rest of her life" Nam said and they laughed again.

My heart almost jumped out of my body when I heard that. I got sad immediately. They don't know I am being blackmailed by Kim for cheating already. I sat quietly as they continued teasing me.

"What is wrong Freen?" Nam finally notices my mood.

I snapped out of it quickly since I don't want them to push it out of my mouth.

"You're equally looking pale this days" Kate added

I stayed looking at them. Should I tell them? Will they help me out. I wanted to voice it out when Nam spoke.

"Is this because of what you found out about Sandra?" She said.

"You know you can always talk to your dad about it if that will make you feel better" Nam added.

"It's not about Sandra nor my dad. My marriage with Becky may probably not hold" I gathered every courage to say it.

"What?!" They both shouted

"Why?" Kate asked worriedly.

"Freen don't tell me you're calling this off?" Kate said.

"Not me. Becky will probably do so" I said holding back my tears.

"And why would Becky call it off? Did you do something stupid?" Nam yelled. I became speechless.

"Did you cheat?!" She yelled again. Forcing me to look at her.

Why did she say "Cheat" of all things that can make people break up? Was she already expecting something like this? It was a grave mistake. I didn't plan for that to happen. Should I tell them? Do they really need to know? I better tell Becky this directly instead of telling them. I can't get married to her like this knowing I have this huge secret I'm keeping from her. Besides Kim on the other hand has been disturbing me to meet her in a hotel. She said she gave me till month-end to make up my mind or she will reveal everything to Becky.

"I didn't cheat Nam" I said stuttering.

"Then why are you stuttering? You know you stutter when ever you lie..."

"Stop it Nam. I am not in the mood" I said looking away.

"You better tell Becky, before walking down that aisle with her". She said

Gosh, they already figured me out. I looked at them, they look so worried. I grabbed my bag and stood up to go.

"It's better to leave no secret Freen. If she still wants you after telling her, she will forgive. But if she doesn't forgive, she won't be blamed for that. Stop torturing yourself by hiding it" Kate said.

I ran out of the house to my car. I drove at high speed to my house. This is difficult for me. I can't survive it if Becky decides to break up with me after hearing the truth. But I still have to tell her. She needs to know.

..............................................

The weather here in England is so cool. I have always considered here my home because I have much memories here. The warm breeze splashes in my face as I walk round the road. I decided to take a short walk since I would be leaving English tomorrow and I don't know when next I will come here. I closed my eyes inhaling and exhaling deeply when a familiar voice spoke behind me.