Injured - Kris Guštin

CHAPTER 31

Katrina's Point of View

I was home now, thanks to Kris. But I still do not feel safe.

Their comments turn into my mind, they stay here, I can hear their voice criticise me over and over again. I can do nothing to stop them; I'm like a ghost, or someone speaking against the wind. It's useless.

What I have done? I always thought I did my job really well! Children were always so happy to show me their progress... I gave everything in this job, maybe even a part of my soul. But was it wrong? That's why the others are treating me like that. Maybe I deserve it.

I stayed in the couch, in front of the TV. I put some show I always watch, Outlander. It's not peaceful at all, but I know every bit of the series, so my brain can rest while my eyes watch, aimlessly.

At some point, I heard the door opening, but I didn't bother checking who it was. I just wanted to be at peace before my show.

"Hey Ka trina," I vaguely turned my head. Of course I recognized Mia's voice. I gave her a small smile, that disappeared when I focused again on the Tv.

Mia sat down next to me, without saying anything. She laid her head on my shoulder.

"Kris called you?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me to come over sooner. He seemed worried." I knew I was denying my own state. I knew I wasn't going very well, and still, my mind acts like this mood is normal, and others should not worry.

"Of course he is! You hid him your feelings! He was absolutely not aware of your state! Katrina, he loves you, he wants just the best for you. Just as I."

"But-But I don't know what to doooo," I was sobbing again. I couldn't control it. Mia took me in a warm hug, lulling me like a child.

"Can I be extremely honest with you?"

"Please be," I sniffed, wiping my eyes.

"You have nothing left in France. Your parents are gone; Amalia too now. Kris and Joker Out are far in Slovenia, and I know how much you crave to see them. You love your students, but you hate your colleagues. You hate speaking French."

"But there's you, here! You're my family before anyone else."

"Family does not mean prison, Kat," her voice was so soft, my eyes watered again. "There's a time you need to fly by yourself. That doesn't mean we're not your family anymore. We'll forever be united. But you have, you must, create new experiences, and create a new family, too. Even if it's not with us."

I sobbed louder in her arms. She always has been my sister, before Amalia. I know she was right, but even the idea of leaving her is too hard for me.

"Artem and Ezio -and Luna- are coming with pizzas really soon. What about us packing your things, um?"

"Y-Yeah," I convinced myself, regulating my breathing. "I think I'll stay a bit longer in Slovenia this time; I need more things."

Mia took my hand and lead me to my room, with a reassuring smile. I was so thankful for having such great friends.

***

I got out of the car. 3 days had passed since that time I cried in Mia's arms. A lot of things had happened.

The following day, I went to see my boss, accompanied by Artem (he can be very scary when he wants), and gave her my resignation letter. Her face at this moment was priceless.

It was a bit weird; we all knew I will never come back, but nobody would admit it.

We had to search for a new drummer, for the band. I could not be a part of the band, being so far away. But I quickly found a young girl, Emilie, who is 19, but willing to take my place and do as much as me. The band can only level up now.