reticent

71

• ??? •

It's dark in here.

     My arms are bound to my stomach, wrapped tightly in the straight jacket. I've been in here for what feels like hours, ever since I woke up a while ago.

I've tried shouting, but nobody answers. This is what they call the reflection room. Normally they only put people who aren't allowed to be sedated in here, so I don't know why I'm here.

I shout again, and silence follows. I've given up all hope when I hear the click of a lock. The cushioned door to the room slowly opens, and a woman walks in. She's short, her hair tied back into a tight ponytail and I can make out the smile on her face as all the shadows aim in her direction.

"Heidi." She says, "I'm sorry we weren't able to come get you up. We were doing rounds so nobody was looking at the cameras." She advances toward me, then slowly helps me up. I flinch away from her, and she frowns. "It's alright. You're not going to be hurt, no one would hurt you here."

Her words don't relax me as she guides me to turn around. She makes quick work of unbuckling the straps on the straightjacket.

"I'll take you to talk to somebody about what got you so upset in a few minutes." She tells me as she turns me back around. The straight jacket drops to the floor, and I glance at it. "Come on." She adds, her tone becoming even more gentle as she takes my arm and begins to lead me toward the door. When I walk out, it's so much lighter that I have to squint my eyes so I'm not blinded.

     The nurse looks at me with pity. I fight the urge to glare at her.

• LORENZO •
• FOUR DAYS LATER •

"She hasn't gotten out of bed," the mental ward nurse tells me as she walks me to Amalia's room. "Psychiatrists have come and gone from her room, but she doesn't talk to them. We're hoping that, now you're able to see her after the initial forty eight hours, you might be able to get her to talk and cooperate more with us so we can help her."

I nod, frowning at her words as an unbearable wave of sadness hits me. She doesn't talk to them.

She stops at a white door, knocking a few times before pushing it open. She steps inside, holding the door open for me, and my eyes trail the boring decorations of the space. The walls are bare and white, and against one of them is a plain desk that doesn't have anything on it. Beside that is a small chest of drawers, and across from that is a twin sized bed with grey sheets. Beneath them, with her head barely sticking out of the covers, is my little girl.

Tears immediately spring to my eyes upon seeing her. She has her eyes closed but even in sleep, there's a pained expression on her little face that makes my heart crack into lots of small pieces.

"Amalia." I whisper, the word shaky on my tongue. I walk over to her, crouching beside the bed and finding her hand beneath the covers. Slowly, she cracks an eye open, her normally bright green eye staring at me, lifeless. I bring her cold hand to my mouth and kiss it, holding it between my palms in an attempt to warm her up. "Hi baby girl." I say quietly.

     She opens her other eye, a soft breath parting her lips. I smile at her, but I imagine that it only looks sad.

     "I've missed you." I tell her gently. "We all have. Your brothers will be here to see you later."