This is a story of a boy who is on the verge of teenage or rather 14 when he first falls in love. The girl is not the protagonist here. But after having a crush on a few more girls, he realizes that he is capable of loving not only girls but guys to...
I am deprived. I am disrupted. I am dismantled. I am disgruntled. I am depressed. I am disconcerted. I disapprove of today. I am not in a state of doing anything. I want just to shove my head into a tub full of eels and let them electrocute me. I want somebody to come and rip my heart and throw it away. I feel nothing at all. I am walking in my house in the dim light from the fridge and I do not wish to have any aim right now. I do not know where my feet are falling or where I am going, where I want to go. I am a pot full of emotions but I can not figure out which one. If depression was human, this was it.
These were my thoughts on that day when I was struggling to study computers. Yes, my mother had forced me to opt for it and I was already cursing my decision a day before our first test of class 9. I wish I had taken the tuition as recommended.
With a heavy heart, I was walking towards my Maths tuition. I was a few blocks away from my house. I slung my bag and wore a mask. I was too insecure about my ugly face. I guess we all are. People who fail to match the beauty standards consider themselves ugly. While beautiful people are uncertain of the longevity of their beauty. Only the reasons are different but we are all insecure about our face.
I was walking on the right side of the road. My face was hung down. I was contemplating my test the next day when I felt the rumbling of a bike engine behind me. I realised I was walking in front of a man or a boy's bike. I chose not to become a thorn in the foot. So I switched my way to the left side. Just when I had walked across the road the man also switched his side and then the brakes screeched.
He almost hit me. I stood there as if I was the wrong person here. I turned back to see a God. I couldn't believe my eyes. This man here had medium-sized amber-coloured eyes, a black beard smooth and patchy, a moustache curving above his pink slender lips, and ivory skin tracing every inch of his body. This 6' 4" man was a walking killer house. The muscles were not prominent but I could figure out he had been a sportperson in his school days. His smile was a vibrant smile enough to lighten up my dark world.
Me : "Sorry bhaiya."(Bhaiya in hindi means big brother)
Him: "It's ok. What is your name?"
I could easily discern that playful look in his eyes to the calm demanding presence right now. I was confused. Why is this man asking me my name?
Me: "Amarsahara."
Him: "Beautiful."
And there in the middle of the empty road, we gazed into each other's eyes. I could see my reflection in his eyes clearly.
I gave way and gestured for him to go ahead. And then he said something unbelievable.
Him: "No. I have to go here."
Then he drove to the house nearby which we had already left behind. Wow! This man almost hit me and now I get to know that he wanted to enter a house we already left behind. Wow? Is this wow?
Whatever it was, I knew three things:
1) He knew my name and I did not know his.
2) He was the most handsome hunk I had ever seen.
3) His smile and demeanour are capable of lighting up my dark world.
I never realised when I started smiling. Later that evening, I sat down to study computer and unsurprisingly I knew nothing. Love can do things but you have to study. Wait. Love? Eew. I was not gay. And this man who can dwarf me easily is nowhere close to one. But I had a strong urge to go to him and say: Will you light up my world, please?
But the truth was: I did not know where his house was.
Ok. Guyz. Sorry for the late update. Mihir Zahir had caught me in his tactics. I lost my Regionals today and this is why I feel super-motivated to write. I am stuck but I guess it is what we have to struggle with.
Anyway. Enjoy. Be happy. The next update is probably tomorrow or on Monday.
Love, Amarsahara.
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