Unrequited Forever✔️

29. Goodbye.

I woke up to a white screen like the ones you see at somebody's funeral. White. All. White.

I felt someone's hand hold my fingers. I saw two people by my side. I saw three people by my other side. I was too numb to see left or right.

I saw the door open and I saw someobody leave.

I saw someone else leaving.

Then one more left the room.

Again. Someone quietly slided the door behind them.

And then I was not feeling any warm touch surrounding my fingers anymore.

It was cold. I was feeling it. I had never felt so strange. It felt as if my whole life was a string and that string was cut short. Like a director edited a part to make the movie short. But the director never realised that the part could have been the only means of employment for someone. Maybe they lost their role and someone's father, mother,son,daughter or a human on Earth committed suicide. No one knows. Humans are like this only. We hurt someone and make someone happy. We never realise that maybe someone is relying on us. We cry for someone else without giving a penny to someone who is worried for us. The nights we spend crying for someone is accompanied by the sobbing of someone else in a closed room.

Anyway. Death felt familiar now. I could see nothing. It was white. It felt as if I had lost my eyesight. But then I could see my family. I could see myself grow over the years. From a Barbie watching kid to a studious nerd; from a dancer to a story teller; from the scapegoat of my brother's mischief to being friends of my friends; from a topper to an Incognito-visitor; from a guy to gay; from a normal kid to a moron. I had changed so many masks. Who said COVID brought the trend of wearing masks?

And then I saw my probable future. I saw myself in 11th grade. I saw myself winning the Nationals Debate, shooting the golden point in the final match of Regional Basketball, signing my first contract with my record label, cheering Somya di in her Youth Festival match, hug my friends tightly when they leave school after 12th. Then I saw myself in 12th. I saw the same things happening. And then I saw myself leave school. I saw myself fall in love with some guy. I had moved to Los Angeles. I saw my dreams come true in my dreams only. I saw my Mihir getting married. I saw myself crying at Somya's wedding. I saw myself attending the birthday parties of my friends' kids. But I was alone. My family died one day. The world moved on. But I was all alone.

And then one day – I died.

With a gasp I started breathing heavily, I could hear a beeping noise from nearby. Then I saw these images once again. And I closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes once again to see my family around me.

And then I smiled and slept for the next 2 days.

After 2 days.

I was at the rooftop. The moonlight and cool breeze of August were blowing again. I had overdosed on hallucinating pills to imagine myself with the guys I fell in love with. All the moments I had spent with Deepak, Akash and Mihir were fake. Illusion. And then I landed myself at the hospital due to overdosing.

I was forgiven by all. They were glad that I was alive.

And then I felt someone come and sit by my side.

"So what are you thinking? Suicide?"

"Very funny." I sarcastically commented.

This was my friend Prashant Chakroborty. (Sue-ruj-Chuck-row-bor-ti)