This is a story of a boy who is on the verge of teenage or rather 14 when he first falls in love. The girl is not the protagonist here. But after having a crush on a few more girls, he realizes that he is capable of loving not only girls but guys to...
"The milk cup is lying there for thirty minutes. When will you drink it? When it vaporises."
My mom shouted at the top of her lungs. I had been decorating the diary for the last forty minutes. I love decorations and stuff that looks aesthetic. It motivates me a lot. Now do not spoil my mood by saying that it is a girlish task. Because I know girls who hate aesthetics and boys who paint their houses. How many thought it would be to paint their nails? I do not paint nails because I paint the town red.
I had started writing in the diary. It had been a week since I started. My diary entry started with 'Hey Akash' and ended with 'Love you to the sky and back'.
I don't know how but I became super-productive and motivated to study after I started this practice. And I give all credit to him. If I am able to solve trigonometry from 11th grade, it's because of him. If I am able to sing, it's him. If I can debate, it's him. If I am happy, it's all because of him. I never knew that the man who had been with me for years would be the reason behind my existence. I can do things on my own but it is him who supports me. No. We do not talk or meet any day, but I feel him with me.
I had fallen in love. He was not fair, he was not rich.
I had a typical mentality of loving guys with fair skin and beards. But I think that it is not necessary. You can fall in love with anyone. Love is love. It does not need any requirements. It is pure. It flows like water. Starting from the ice-capped mountains resembling a peaceful start where lovers respect and have an icy mist of insecurities. They do not reveal too much and are apprehensive of how they speak and talk. Then the river of love flows through the plateaus. The exciting ups and downs of their life. They fight and reconcile. This is the most energetic part. If they fail to be together they will become like that inland river which seeps into the ground and fades. But if they come back after the floods, they will be an eternal match. The last part is being together in peace. The river flows through flat land and is slow. If the boy feels it is too slow and rushes things, they part ways. Or if the girl is bored of being constantly reminded that she is with a person, this river will split before the journey ends which we often call distributaries. But if this river of love is able to pass every test, they will enter the sea of eternal love and oceans of happiness.
Ever cared to think why sea water is salty? Or why the waves are so violent sometimes and as calm as a hermit on some days?
The lovers who pass each test have joined the sea of happiness shedding millions of tears. These tears of pain, sorrow, and joy are all there in the sea. And tears have salt. The violent waves are a symbol of their resilient struggles to manage their life and love. And the calm waters? Well, are there hardships only? This is the peace in the storm.
But even after all the resilience, they are two sides of a river that will walk to infinity but never meet.
I shut my diary and drank my cold milk with a dead fly in it. Then I sat down to study computer. After an hour of solving questions from Google, I looked outside my room window. And what do I see?
I looked into the brown eyes of Aakash. He was standing right there. His maintained beard and parted lips turned my mind off. The eyes of the sky.
And I got lost in them. The other minute I was there with him on the rooftop. We were lying on the alabaster side by side. I slid my fingers through his hair, and his beard and looked into his eyes. The sky was filled with a multitude of teeming stars and constellations. The moon shone making his ebony body paler than moonlight itself. He smiled. His black shirt's fabric struggling to breathe under my tight grip and his lips converged with my light-pink tinted ones. Time did not freeze. The sky froze. The clouds stopped and the moon his itself behind one of them, too shy to see us. The stars shone brightly and the only constellations that were there above were – Leo and Capricorn.
His birthday was on 11th August and mine on 6th January. His being a Leo was everything to me. And as we were lost in each other, our constellations danced together in the sky with the harmony of the hitched breath of ours. We could not breathe and ruin this moment. But the moment was ruined.
Our eye contact was broken by his friend Raja, my neighbour. Tyrant!
I came back to reality. And the reality was that I was talking to my friend and a girl was passing by. Akash looked up at her and they smiled for a split second.
"Who is she?"
"You don't know she is Bittu bhaiya's girlfriend."
And I choked on my saliva. Disgusting! Not the saliva but the choice. She was not at all his type. And more than this – I can't say.
I was bubbling with anger. I can't tolerate this. How can this girl trick him?
And I walked up to her and strode past her dropping my frooti.
"Oh. Sorry. Mistake." Without a trace of regret, I spoiled her mood. She looked up at Akash pleadingly hoping he would scold me. And he hung his head and drove away.
I am so sick of that same old love. Me and my headphones. I can't think.
Two things are clear from today:
1) That Leo is mine
2) I hate unrequited love stories.
In short, I want something that will never be mine and I hate my life.
But who said this is the end?
The summer vacation came and I got a fever. The temperature and my fever. Both were too much. And I was dying until...
Thanks to all. I love you is a word I can't say cause it is too sacred. I don't know all of you and you don't know me. But I respect you. And thanks a lot.
Love, Amarsahara.
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