This is a story of a boy who is on the verge of teenage or rather 14 when he first falls in love. The girl is not the protagonist here. But after having a crush on a few more girls, he realizes that he is capable of loving not only girls but guys to...
It was half past seven. I had solved all the maths questions and was lying down to read my storybook when I heard a knock at my door. In the chilling cold of November, who would have come? A beggar? Or the old onion-begging woman? I was scared because I had no onions and zero experience with these female ghosts. But it was not a ghost. It was...God.
A towering impeccable man covered in his black jacket, adidas shoes, jet-black jeans and white shirt. His ivory skin was shining in the moonlight and it shone with full intensity when the lights went out. His beard was beckoning me. And his amber eyes were fiery again. As if they were warning me to stay away. But I was beyond cure now. I made an excuse to my mother and hopped on his bike only to realise I was feeling cold. He opened his jacket and I was draped in it. It came up to my neck and I was submerged. It smelt strongly of flowers mixed with a masculine smell. I was high.
In the freezing cold, he drove completely unmoved by the low temperature. As if he did not feel anything. I was worried but he had ordered me to stay quiet and not to worry. I had resolved never to see him again and leave him. But which alcoholic had been able to resist the glass touching his lips? And in this case, Dionysus himself had fallen in love with me.
We reached the outskirts of the city. There amidst the untended wild grass and the broken fence was a dilapidated house. A small house probably one room or two. It was dark all around. We halted in front of the house and I got down.
"Where are we?"
"A place you have to see."
"why? What is so special about..."
Before I could say more, he grabbed me and took me inside locking the door behind me. Why was he so rough? It took me a few moments as my eyes adapted to the darkness. He turned his flashlight on and I saw pictures. Several pictures on the walls. All of them of that one boy. The boy who was laughing, who was with his friends, who was singing in his garden, who was writing songs sitting on his chair, who was walking down the alley, holding a flower, kissing Deepak, eating ice cream, winning the Zonals debate, and everything. Every moment of happiness, melancholy and privacy. Every picture was there. Every picture has the same person...me.
The green walls were covered with hundreds of pictures in different patterns. Heart-shaped, flower-bordered. I never knew he loved me so much. So much so that he had spent his leisure in my pain and pleasure. This was insane love. Some insane out-of-this-world love he bore for a common boy like me.
I could even see some combined names.
Amarkantak.(A-mur-cun-tuck)
Deepsahara.(Di-p-suh-hara)
Deepanshi.(Dip-an-she)
Dipshayra.(Dip-sh-ay-ruh)
Amarsahayak(A-mur-suh-ha-yuck)
Names of boys and girls. Did he go this far to think of our marriage and kids? This was insane. Tears flooded my eyes. Was I worthy of being loved like this? I had craved romantic love for life. And now that I got it, I was backing out. I had never been able to reciprocate his love. His love had been unrequited.
"See. How I spent my evenings after work. It was like decorating a temple. I worship you, Babu. When we were distant and eye contact was our only contact, I was fine. But now having you so near one night and losing you forever is intolerable. Yet, you think I don't love you. You only talk to your Mihir. You only see your Akash. You only laugh with your Somya. You say you love me and I love you. Then when we can be together now why are you backing out? Babu, I feel alive when I am with you. I will do what you say, I will marry you. I will cook, and work. I will keep you like a king. Just, just be with me."
"Deepak. Calm down. Deepak we are not meant to be together. You will not want to continue this after some years. We can not be a couple."
"Why not?" Deepak held me tight. His hands grabbed both my arms leaving marks on them. The ambience wasn't cold anymore. His tone was annoyed and slurring. "Why not? Tell me where I am wrong. When did I upset you? Don't I look good enough? I know my beard is not as maintained as Akash but I am fairer than him. Why don't you want me? tell me. I will correct everything I have. You do not like my family. I will leave them. But..."
I was way beyond tolerating his nonsense now. I shook him off.
"Deepak. Enough! I told you I love you but I know you do not love me. It is mere infatuation. You just treat me as a want. An object. These pictures are models to walk on your command. When you are happy, you see them. when you are sad, you tear them. You talk about family, right? Well who could not be his family's son, what will he be mine?"
Before I could say anything, he kissed me. I knew it. He was drunk. His tone, his voice, his eyes, his walk and his rough behaviour. His wine burned my tongue. I was feeling nauseous. He was hungry and he went deep into me. he kissed me as if he was getting his last moments with me. With a lot of struggle, I pushed him back. Instead of the wood against which I pushed him, a camera shutter sounded. He had clicked a picture. I knew that now, there was no escaping.
