This is a story of a boy who is on the verge of teenage or rather 14 when he first falls in love. The girl is not the protagonist here. But after having a crush on a few more girls, he realizes that he is capable of loving not only girls but guys to...
The debate competitions were over and the results were announced. To my surprise, I and my friend Deepshikha were the winners and going to represent our school in August. And to my utter disgust, Keshav was going to represent our school in the Seniors debate with Somya.
I was disgusted because of two facts:
1) They could not sit under the same roof what about being partners?
2) I should not have been but I was happy because Keshav was going to be there with us, or...Me.
I was afraid and annoyed at myself. Why was I feeling happy about being his kind of mentor and partner? My mind and I don't get along sometimes.
It was the 7th period of a Thursday and I was waiting for Keshav. He was going to a cricket match on Saturday and he was late to the library for practice. I asked Somya di, and she replied he was off for practice. I don't know why my heart sank a little. Brain SHUT THE HELL UP!!
And there he was. He entered and I chased him all around and he was running. This nonsense activity came to an end when I held his sweaty arms and took 5 steps back. I hate sweaty arms and bodies.
"This is why I will never marry a sportsperson. Be it a guy or girl." Words escaped my mouth. I was afraid he would react to the "guy" but all he said was.
"Sports makes you disciplined." And he wiped his arms. I am an observant a**hole because I observe too much, and I saw a glint of disappointment in his eyes.
Later he went off to practise for his cricket match. The dismissal bell was rung and we were walking out of class in a line when I saw a white hand waving at me. keshav in his jersey. Do you call it that? White cricket suit? He ran while I stood.
Keshav: "Hey."
Me: "Yo!"
"How do I prepare for Debate? I mean what to improve."
"Yeah. Nothing. I will train you once you come back with a cricket medal."
We talked about a few random things and then I pulled up a topic.
"Are you and Sejal still in a relationship?"
"No. She is in a situationship. We are done."
His friends came from nowhere and took him away. I changed my way because I hate people who leave while talking to me.
"Hey. You went away. I told you to wait."
I turned back and Keshav was panting and coming towards me.
I felt a surge of warmth overcome me. No one had ever come back to talk to me.
The day passed and Friday morning was here. I was walking to our campus with my senior and yet another friend, Charu Di.
Me: "Keshav is going for the Debate with us."
Charu Di: "Oh. You know he is not a good person."
"I know he kissed her. But they broke up"
"Broke up? No fool, they are together. Still."
" No. He told me and he will not lie to me." trusting people was my weakest point. I trusted anyone and everyone.
"You are a madman. His best friend Molly showed me her chats with him. She told me that he goes to Sejal's house at night to teach her literature. And they are in a room locked. She told me that she gave him a love bite."
The world shook. I was not able to breathe. I hate liars because I am very transparent. If he did not wish to tell me, he could have told me. why did he lie?
The first thing I did after meeting Somya and Keshav was to check his palms. There was no love bite or hickey. Was she lying? Why would she lie? Molly showed her chats where he confessed all of that.
I was angry and I did not talk to him. What angered me more was that he went to Cricket practise for the entire day so I could not cold-shoulder him. I spent my day like a moron. I don't know but it affected me more than it should have. And I was sad because of the fact that they were still together. Why was I sad? But when you are falling in love, you don't rationally question anything.
And I literally cried making the pretext that I could not participate in a music event but those tears were because of him. Only one tear flowed down my eyes but I was shook.
the match was on Saturday and it was a holiday for us. I wanted to wish him luck but I had no number of his. I was angry but I was a human. I texted my friend, Swarit who might have had his number but he replied on Sunday.
Two days. I spent two days of my life brooding over the fact that Keshav had lied to me. I wrote a poem for him. And I poured all my negativity into it.
On Monday, I came to the library and I was constantly giving him a cold shoulder. He was trying to talk but I ignored him. And he was indifferent. He joked and talked like everything was normal. he did not see that I was angry.
"What happened?"
"Nothing of your interest."
"Then why are you acting weird?"
"Because I hate liars and somebody told me something about you. And it's not my business so I should stay away."
Until the last period, he was bugging me to tell me what had happened. And I told him that it does not matter what I think about him.
At last, when his patience grew thin, he asked, "Are you going to class?"
"No."
He came and sat beside me and touched my arm. I jerked it off because I felt a spark. Not fooling or joking but a real spark. Is he an electron?
"Please tell me what happened."
"Why? I am no one to you. You barely know me. why do you care what I think about you?"
"But this thing is a trauma. I won't be able to come out of it for months."
"Trust me you will forget it today itself."
" I could have but it is you who are angry. And you are special."
The words echoed. I fell into his eyes and his parted lips. I wanted to kiss him but only I knew what was self-control at that point.
And all I said was, "I am going to tell you a secret. I am pansexual. I can love both girls and guys. So please do not give me hope."
He got up and whispered in my ear. The proximity was too much for me. I was too lost in him to figure out what he had said.
