Sinful Despair

➩𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞

🥹

𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲
𖤓𖤓𖤓

"How did it go?" Enzo asks, stuffing his phone in his pocket as I walk towards him leaning against the car.
The meeting was... okay. I mean it wasn't terrible, but it's not like I'm desperate to do it again.
He mostly let me vent, let every thought I've ever had be converted into words until my throat was aching and mind almost empty. Then the remains of the session was him suggesting different ways for me to help deal with my issues and explain how certain things can worsen them, and some can soothe them.

Why did it feel like he knew me better than I do myself?

"Good." I breathe, my voice strained and weak which I try to hide by plastering a faint smile on my dry lips. If anything I'm just tired, physically and mentally.

He told me I should get myself some distractions, maybe start playing a sport or going out with friends which I guess is understandable but not the easiest when you spend a lot of your time studying.

He steps infront of me, blocking me from getting into the car when I make a move to, then looks down at me with an unsure expression. "Good? That's it?"

"Enzo it's cold, move." I fold my arms over my chest, ignoring his question completely.
For the first time in my entire life, the idea of talking makes me want to jump into a hole and die.

No answer, he doesn't move, speak or do anything to get my attention. However when my expression shifts, going from its usual frown to one too tired to even care, he gives up.

Enzo takes a step to the side, opening the door for me and helping me inside. I relax into the seat, reaching out to turn up the heaters with my fingers that feel like they've turned to ice just from the short time I stood outside. It's getting a lot colder now, and as much as I love winter. The winter depression isn't super enjoyable.

Enzo gets into the car a second later, making the already small space feel even smaller and I watch as his large hands turn on the car then grip the steering wheel with his right hand as he drives off.

"It was nice I guess, weird.. but still." I blurt out eventually, the silence in the claustrophobic space getting too awkward to bear.

He blinks, probably not expecting the sudden statement. "Good. That's good." He says, his body relaxing a little.

He doesn't say anything else but I can practically feel his encouragement for me to keep talking.
So I do.
"He told me I should find something to do during my free time, a distraction"

This time he turns to look at me for a moment, "Yeah? Have any ideas?"

I stay silent. Thinking about a couple of thingss but none feeling appealing enough. Well except..
"No clue"

"Anything you'd always wanted to do maybe?" He suggests.

I let out a small awkward chuckle, biting my tongue, "it's stupid" I eventually slip free.

He turns to look at me, longer this time "Oh?"

"Yeah.. I don't know, it was fun before but I haven't really had time lately so I kinda forgot all about it." My head slowly falls against the window, letting it support the weight of my exhausted body with a breathe.

"Tell me." He says.

I consider it, "You can't make fun of me okay?" I shoot him a serious look.

"Never, Tesoro"

"...I guess I've always kind of enjoyed baking. It's basic, I know, but it takes my mind of things and it's not too tricky so I thought if I could get back into it maybe that could work as a distraction? I don't know it's probably stu-"

I get cut off before I finish my nervous rant by Enzo gabbing my jaw, turning my gaze to look at him as we stop at a red light.
"It's not stupid, Tesoro. You want to do it, you do it." He says, his full attention fixated on me, not at the buzz of a ringing phone or at the fact that the lights turn yellow.

"Okay" I breathe, feeling my tense body slowly relax and sink into the warmth of the seat.

He lets go of my chin, returning to the wheel when someone behind us honks.
A few minutes later when we're approaching the apartment he makes a different turn, going another way.

"I'm not going to kidnap you" he says quickly, as if I was rushing him.

"That's not what I was going to say" that's definitely what I was going to say.

He pulls into a parking space, and I look up to see that we're at one of the grocery stores nearby. Not the grocery store I go to though, this is the one that would kill my bank account.

I make a move to open my car door, caught off guard when he reaches over the over and closes the door before me. "What?"

"First of all, don't ever insult me by opening your own door, secondly, wait here." And with that he leaves, locking the door behind him.
He takes his time in the store, leaving my tired self a great chance to recharge.

I'm half asleep when I hear the trunk getting opened, but I'm too drained to open my eyes, even when the car door opens and I feel his burning gaze admiring every inch of my body.

𖤓𖤓𖤓

I don't really know what to say🥲

I feel so horrible for disappearing without saying anything but at the time I was in a position that made writing way too demanding for me.

However I am BACK, and I will be finishing this book even if it takes forever because I am in love with these characters and have really missed writing them. I'll try to update wrong kind of learning as well but it might have to wait until this book is finished.

Once again, I am so sorry for leaving y'all hanging and I hope that I'll be able to update enough to make up for it ❤️