Sinful Despair

➩𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚

𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐳𝐨
𖤓𖤓𖤓

Trauma

It's a strange thing really

Such a terrible thing can take place in so many different ways, so many sizes, so many times.

It can be different for everyone.

A toddler getting their ice cream stolen from them could be a form of trauma.

A kid loosing their favorite pet could also be a form of trauma.

Childhood me did not know this.

13 year old me didn't think working 22 hours a day, training as hard as a marine, spending hours at the gym to impress my father and in the end challenging myself until I had to be hospitalized, all to do it again the next week, was anything unusual.

It's how I grew up. My brother was the lucky one, his side is mostly writing, calling and going to meetings.

It's what 15 year old me wished he had as he layed in the hospital bed, watching the doctors as they tried to keep him alive.

Trauma

It can be different for everybody.

And hers was one of the worst.

𖤓𖤓𖤓

"A few days later I packed my things and left the country. That's when I met Amara, she helped me find a place to stay, food, clothing until I was 18. She saved my life."

I hardly register her words as she speaks, not when I've just heard the revolting things her step dad has done to her.
She's gone through rape, abuse, torture, divorce and the loss of both her parents, yet she's still smiling.

She didn't spare me a single glance as she spoke about what happened, instead she's been walking around the room and fiddling with her nails. She still is.

Eventually she stops, however when I see her hands start shaking and her eyes close, I take a small step towards her. She flinches at the movement, her breath hitches and she blinks a couple of times before turning around and walking towards the bathroom.

"Lily."

"Get out of my room Enzo." She snaps, but her words end with a gasp when I grab her arm, pulling her into me. "No."

She struggles in my hold, pushing and punching at my chest in attempts to be freed, but she doesn't succeed, "let me go!"

I get a hold of both of her arms, pinning them together infront of her as my other hands sneaks up around her neck. Gently, I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing the scar. "He did this to you?"

It's silent for a moment, "Where is he now."

This time she reacts, her attention instantly snapping to me. "What?" She breaths, "I- I don't know? Why does that even matter?"

My eyes darken as I look down at her, but I don't say anything, I don't need to say anything. She already knows the answer.

"Enz-" She starts, but I cut her off before she gets to finish, "Eat your breakfast." And with that I let go of her arms and neck, leaving her alone in her room.

Michael Davis...

𖤓𖤓𖤓

"Get it done." I speak, hanging up the phone with a breath.

My few seconds of peace are interrupted when the sound of footsteps near the kitchen, and from the corner of my eye I see Olivia stride excitedly into the room.

"Oh! I didn't think I'd see you here." She smiles as she walks around the kitchen, pretending to look like she's doing something.

"In my kitchen?" I arch a brow, I'm not stupid.

She looks at me as if I've shot her pet in the face. Then instantly covering it up with some awkward laughter, "you're right, of course!" Her eyes shift, "Just thought you'd be with your girlfriend"

My eyes narrow, "Girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend." I don't do girlfriends.

"Oh, I just assumed since-.." she trails off, biting at her nails.

"Since what?" My tone hardens.

"Well- I mean.. the time for you to get married is getting closer isn't it?" I stare at her for a second, mostly because the topic hasn't come up in months and hearing it come from her was totally unexpected, but also because as much as I hate to admit it, she's right.

Silence overcomes the room for a moment, "leave"

Her eyes widen, "What? But!-"

"Now." and with that she shuts her mouth, turns around and walks out of the room.

I let out a deep sigh, leaning back in my seat. My thoughts race but instead of being about several different things, it's about one thing, someone.

She's like a disease, a virus that refuses to leave my head.

And I'm fucking addicted.

𖤓𖤓𖤓