Goodbyes are forever, so I will not say it, part two

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Re-cap:
"It's not your fault. You must go back to your friends now, they are getting rather worried." I sniffed and rubbed my face.

"How do I get back here?"
"Just meditate, think of me in a calm like state, look for your inner self, and you will find me." I nodded and turned to look at the door.

"Do I have to? I don't think I am ready to face them."
"It dose not matter if you are ready or not, my child. It is what you have to do."

I nodded my head and went back to my body, becoming fully conscious.

End re-cap:

I was aware of the bright light in the hospital room, so I did not open my eyes. Instead I rolled over and placed the pillow over my head.

Chuckles surrounded me and I peeked from under the pillow. The room was bright so I had to blink a few times for my eyes to adjust. My blue eyes met the other pair of blue eyes that belonged to my brother.

I jumped from the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Your ok!" He held me tightly to his chest, his face buried into my neck and hair.
"You should worry about yourself first! Believe it! You died!! And then you came back and even then you were still shifty!!"

I gave him a smirk, "but I came home, didn't I?" He looked at me with wide eyes before I was pulled away from Naruto and was hugged by Sakura.

"Woah! What's with all the hugs these days?!" I joked but deep down I was really touched. I looked around the room as Sakura released me.

Kakashi was next in line to hug me, then it was Choji and Shikamaru. Asuma was in the corner with a smoke in his mouth, but it was unlit, most likely habit. I looked at him but I couldn't meet his eyes, it was my fault his father died.

After Choji let me go I looked at him with pleading eyes, " Do you have any food?" He grumbled and handed me a bag of chips, I laughed and started to munch on them, giving Choji the last chip of course.

"So, how are things?" I asked to break the awkward silence as I stuffed my fave with another bag of chips.

"What happened on the roof?" Asuma asked, straight to the chase I see.

I couldn't look at him as he walked over to my bed, I looked down at my bandaged hands as I played with my fingernails.

"It's all my fault." I whispered as he sat on the edge of the bed, I could feel all their eyes looking at me with curiosity, it felt like it was burning me.

"How. Tell us what happened."

"I wasn't strong enough, I know all these things but my chakra reserve wasn't strong enough for me to fight full out. If only I had been stronger, Orichimaru would be dead and not Sensei." i clenched my fists as I spoke, soon red blotches appeared on the white bandages as my fingernails dug into my skin and broke it open.

" I tried, I fought against the first Hokage while sensei took on the rest. I was weak, and pathetic!" I growled out as i clenched my hands tighter. A tanner hand covered my own as he made me stop hurting myself, I refused to look up at him as i retold about what happened on the roof. About how brave sensei fought and managed to take away his jutsu's but not his soul. I left out most of what I did, mainly focusing on Sensei's part, only adding my self when necessary.

I rose my head and looked out the window, tears filled my eyes but I refused to let them fall.
"The ANBU said that Orichimaru did something to you, it prevented you from fighting. they said that you screamed and fell and that even then, you stood up to fight and help. What did he do to you?"

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