hyun-su doesn't think that he's worthy of anything. he hates everything about himself and it seems that everyone else does too, so love and relationships have never even set foot into his mind his sister is so embarrassed to be related to him that she pretends she doesn't know him at all, and his parents aren't any better since they knew he was being bullied in school and they didn't care he never thought anything would come out of his life so he wanted to kill himself. he hated waking up and living the hell he called his life and he knew nothing would change and then he met you, the new student in his school who sat next to him in one of his classes. you always wore such a bright smile. you extended your hand, introduced yourself, and you weren't even hurt when hyun-su didn't respond. you just laughed, saying "you don't need to talk if you don't want to." he was baffled by your kindness. he figured you would've been like everyone else in school. he thought he would've gotten a new bully the second you stepped into the room but he didn't you sat next to him willingly and always tried to involve him in conversation. he was worried that your kindness was all a ploy to reel him in and then hurt him, but he managed to warm up to you slowly but surely hyun-su catches feelings first but he refuses to act on them out of the fear of rejection. he has love so evident in his eyes whenever he looks at you and he thinks he's not being obvious you're the only person who cares about him, even going so far as to stick up for him to the bullies who constantly harass him. you get insulted a lot because of your friendship with him and it makes him feel so guilty you're aware that he hasn't done anything wrong for these people to be bullying him, so you try your best to be a friend to him. you often feel upset or even angry at his situation. he never deserved anything like this you end up having feelings for him, too. you aren't too sure what it is about him that you like so much, but you adore everything about him you make the first move. it's mentioned in conversation and he flushes red, his eyes widening as he avoids your gaze. he never felt worthy of anyone's love, but here you were, confessing how much you like him he won't be able to form forms but he nods and you hug him so tightly he feels his chest tighten in such an amazing way. he hadn't ever felt the way you made him feel he's really shy in your relationship. he won't ever initiate anything because he worries he'll mess something up and you'll get mad at him. he knows you wouldn't, but he still has anxieties because of everything he's been through whenever you hold him it's the softest thing and it makes him feel so happy. his heart will race whenever you run your fingers through his hair and just look down at him when he lays in your arms. he can't ever describe that feeling hyun-su has self confidence issues and while he doesn't expect you to help him, you do. you tell him how perfect he is all the time, how kind and incredible he is. all of the things he needs to hear from someone he loves he wants to be able to protect you. he feels like you're almost too pure of heart to be with someone like him, so to make up for it he promises himself to prioritize you and your safety over his own ever since you met him you knew he was struggling with his mental health. it never made you think less of him and instead it just made you think about how strong he was to still be living you know about his suicidal thoughts and self harm, so whenever he's feeling down he'll message you and you'll come over to spend time with him. he doesn't want to force you to come see him but you never complain about it. you always tell him how you'd rather be with him and help him instead of him be alone without anyone knowing what he was going through he wants to take you out on dates. he feels like he can make it up to you whenever he takes you out. he wants to thank you for being there for him every step of the way so he'll bring you somewhere he knows you like hyun-su will spend more time at your home than at his own. it's even better if your parents love him. he feels more welcome in your home with your family than with his own whenever he thinks about suicide, right before he's about to follow through he thinks about you. he thinks about you and how much faith you have in him and how much you've helped him. he thinks about how he makes you smile and how incredible you are to care about him, and he stops. he calls you and talks to you to calm him down while his mental health is a huge part of his life, he will never make you feel like his therapist. he'll only ever vent to you if you say he can and even then he'll be wary of how much he tells you. he doesn't want you to be worried about him he really loves to cuddle with you. whether you're curled up in his arms or he in yours, he doesn't mind. he won't ever stop thinking about how the two of you practically fit together like a puzzle whenever he touches you. it makes him so happy he adores the way you look at him. it makes him feel so loved and so wanted, things he never thought he'd feel again. though, whenever he looks into your eyes all he sees is admiration and happiness he notices all of the little things about you, the sparkle in your eye whenever you smile, the furrow of your eyebrows whenever you get frustrated. he's very observant and he loves all of the little things about you that most wouldn't notice you're his first love. he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, if you'll have him, and he doesn't ever want to lose you somehow. he hasn't cared this much about anyone in his entire life hyun-su admires every single thing about you. he loves the way you smile and the sound of your laugh. he loves your kindness and determination, and the way your eyes soften every time you look at him. it makes his heart ache if you ever tell him how he makes you feel his face would flush and his heartbeat would quicken. he never knew how much he truly meant to you until you told him. he knew you loved him but hearing it meant so much to him his mental health improves during your relationship. his anxieties and suicidal thoughts don't disappear permanently but he notices they show up less frequently and he finds it easier to get out of depressive episodes while in a relationship with you you give him hope that he can make it through anything, including his mental health struggles. you're the light at the end of the tunnel and all he wants is you to be there to hold him when he needs it he's a really loving boyfriend even if he doesn't have experience before you. he knows exactly what to do to make you happy somehow just the mere thought of him puts a smile on your face. you love him so much and knowing that he loves you too makes you filled with so much joy. knowing that you've been helping him makes everything worth it hyun-su believes he can be a burden to you but you'll never let him think that. you always want to be there for him and you'd rather him talk about anything he wants to than to suffer in silence like he had been before. he would never be a problem to you and it's a new experience for him knowing he's welcome to talk to you about his feelings he doesn't mind pda, but he worries that you being seen with him in public would make you the target of even more bullying. you don't care and still entwine his fingers with yours and it's the happiest he'd been in school before he thinks less about his family and how much they can't stand him, and instead he thinks about you and how you'd do anything for him he thinks you're a guardian angel or something sent to protect him from himself. without you there's no doubt in his mind that he wouldn't be alive anymore but there you were— caring so much about him and his wellbeing he spends most of his time with you because you make him feel things he'd never felt before. the way you smile at him makes his heart warm so quickly and always makes him happy he doesn't understand why you love him and he doesn't think he ever will. you might've told him everything you love about him before but that doesn't mean that he'll think he's worthy of your love he's beyond grateful that you love him and are there to help him with anything and everything but he fears that he just isn't enough for you and that you deserve someone better who can do more with you whenever his mental health gets worse he'll lock himself up and his room and won't come out for days. he'll only come out when he sees you, he'll wrap his arms around you and hug you so gently. he thought it would benefit you, not having to worry about him, but when he saw your tear-stained eyes he wouldn't ever do it again instead, he'd go to you. the two of you would stay indoors and watch movies, cuddle, play his favorite video games. you'll do anything just to make him happy even if it's just for a moment his kisses are so soft. he kisses you so gently but so passionate, he feels like if he pulls away or lets you go you'll disappear and he'd wake up from a dream alone in his bed for another day of suffering but when he pulls away, the only thing he's met with is you and your smile. your adoring gazes and sweet touches that he never wants to let end. he feels so comforted when he's around you, like he doesn't have any worries in the world he'll get so flustered if you kiss him, though. while he loves it more than anything he always gets embarrassed. it still hasn't clicked in his mind that you love him yet so he gets startled by it sometimes kiss him on his neck? it's even worse. if you leave a mark, expect him to hide his face in his arms to cover his flushed cheeks and pink nose. he loves when you leave marks on him though, whenever he sees them he thinks about you and the joy you bring him if you're ever feeling the way he feels, he'll comfort you to the best of his ability. he wonders if the way he felt in that moment was how you feel all the time. filled with so much worry and yet also love and hope. he hopes it isn't he's an incredibly boyfriend even if he doesn't think he is. he knows how to put a smile on your face and how to cheer you up you are his favorite person in the world. the way you smile at him like it's only the two of you on the planet makes his heart explode and the kindness evident in your eyes always makes him so happy while he feels he isn't deserving of you, you reassure him all the time that he's everything you've ever wanted without you, he wouldn't be where he is. happy, recovering and in love
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