Puck, The Fine Lines |The Rockwell series#3

Chapter Twenty-two

Chapter twenty two
Mason pov

I've never regretted anything in my entire life than putting us on a break from seeing each other as I struggle to cope without being near her anymore because whenever I have free time before practice I constantly go through my voicemails on my phone just to hear her voice.I miss hearing her voices, her laughs, seeing her smile brighter than the sun when her eyes go wide as her smile lit up her face.

Practice was so tough on me today as I ignored the other girls who were fangirling on the stands whilst they were watching our hockey team play and as I looked up at the stands wistfully thinking about her face when I was picturing her cheering me on the stands wearing my jersey number fifty five.

"Dude, you need to get your head in the game or otherwise the coach will bench you." Dean told me.

Puck! I couldn't even think straight without her being there by my side then somehow my heart hurts so badly as I was struggling to breathe this tortured feeling of pain was overwhelming. Everything was just too painful to even handle as my whole world started spinning out of control no matter how much longer I had tried to keep it all together but now my life has fallen apart.

"I don't care anymore, not now when this world won't give me a break.... She hates me now because I screwed up." I murmured weakly to Dean.

My teammates all knew what was happening as they rushed toward me with a common look of confusion or concerns about my mental state next, they were all talking me through it to help me together and Asher swore under his breath as he tried to immediately dialed a number on his phone waiting for the person who he had called to answer their phone. I heard him say the word Jessamyn which means he was calling his girlfriend to help give him some tips on how to help resolve my issues.

We walked into the locker rooms and then I remembered that I had written a poem about Rochelle calling the name of the title my songbirdie however, I had left it in my bag in the meantime, I had just finished showering as I stepped outside to get dressed in my normal clothes. I saw Wyatt, Asher, Dean, Grayson,Holden and Fletcher already dressed staring at me worriedly like I have twenty heads being quite uncomfortable with it.

"Buddy, don't take this the wrong way but we all are worried about you." spoke up Wyatt with concern over me.

This was sounding a bit like an attempt of intervention by them at the moment. "Please don't tell me that you are giving me an intervention talk about how mindsets is affecting my plays." I sighed tiredly.

Out of everybody else who I had expected to get this from Asher had stood there completely agreeing with whatever they were saying about me being distracted and I guess all it takes for everybody to notice that I wasn't myself was just being distant with everyone else who was around me including how crushing my own heart felt when I had messed up at practice. All of this couldn't have waited until after we had gotten home back from the ice rink because I was feeling extremely exhausted from all of the pressure of the world on my shoulders that had caused me to be stressed out.

"You don't need to carry around these bags of stress around you anymore because you've got all of us here for a reason."Holden expressed his sadness for me. 

An unexpected intervention from my teammates who sat here willingly waiting for me to hear exactly what they thought or felt about me spiraling out of control being too deep into my thoughts as our teammates heart to heart encouraging words was a tough luck speech.
They truly didn't sugarcoat any words that they had thought about clearly being too blunt enough for me to take a hint to begin to understand why this was necessary for me to hear them.

A huge learning curve was needed for me to understand that I wasn't never myself but maybe a different perspective on how others perceive me. I was always myself even when my world was changing it got progressively worse than I imagined it would ever been. Mind over matter and she would forever be on my mind because she brought out the best version of me that i didn't even realize existed to begin to create something amazing.

"Then who else is going to take care of my mum and my brothers when this family court case comes to light?" I asked Holden with desperation in my voice.

Today the university halls were all vacant as we were the last ones who were to leave due to coach Jensen making us practice harder than ever before including when it was my fault for not being able to focus on the game itself was utterly brutal.

"I knew that something else was bothering you other than the break up with Rochelle," said Wyatt knowingly.

Every time I close my eyes I see or think of her. The smell of her scent lychee or raspberry fuzz perfume, the way she says my name, her dark brown eyes and now everywhere I go I heard people whispering her name. I miss you, Rochelle. I'm sorry for breaking your heart.

"Obviously it doesn't take a genius to figure it out, Garcias." Exclaimed Holden with a deadpan tone.

A pang hurt my chest and I think that it was time for me to say my pieces to finally be open "All I've ever wanted to be is the perfect son but all I managed to do was mess it up. I couldn't even be the perfect boyfriend."I said truthfully.

Could you really blame me for having a dad issue as he taught me that real men don't show their emotions nevertheless, the more I think about it I know that he was talking about doormats and my family could do better without our father.

"Man, I know what it is like to have the worst father ever but you should have always come to me when sh*t hit the fan." Asher sighed empathetically as he gave a quick pat on the back before we put aside our man pride and we had ended up hugging each other.

All of a sudden there was the sound of someone bursting into the locker room When we all turned our heads toward the door and there stood before us her ginger red-haired friend Avenna and her other Charlie looking at me furiously.

Avenna said irritatedly at me"We all have big hope for the both of you but you blew it big time! Whatever difficult time you were going through she could have helped you with."  
Looks like she was just getting started with her pent-up rage which I thought I did deserve for hurting Rochelle's heart.

Charlie vocalized in her opinion."I don't care about what manhood meeting you got here but look! you broke one of my best friend's hearts so fix it."

Loving someone else as much as loving yourself wasn't easy as others make it seem but conceivably I was just pushing her away from me. I never knew that I was even capable of love and I was still learning to become more open about my feelings instead of putting them on lockdown moreover, I made the flood worse because I was no longer flowing recently, I was drowning in my own self-guilt to add to the top of the iceberg her friends had come to tell me whats huge mistakes that I was making for hurting their friend, my songbird, my forever girl and my everything Rochelle.

"I had tried to send her a basket of all of her favorite stuff-"

Avenna shakes her head as she looks hella angry at me with fury blazing in her eyes afterwards, she turns her disappointed eyes back on me again avoiding Wyatt's gazes. There must be something going on between the two of them.
"Well try even harder than that knucklehead."Avenna scoffed at me.

They both were walking off out of the locker room not arguing alongside her friends and knowing that she wouldn't have wanted the three of us to argue because she was over all of the drama. Additionally, my life was miserable without her being in it. She was no, is my whole entire puzzle piece that completes me wholly in everything that we did together.