Checkered Royals [Ciel Phantomhive x Reader] *NOT FULLY EDITED*

Chapter 19: Do You?

A/N
All my readers wanna hear is Ciel and Y/N confessing their love to each other XD but I'm so mean amfg so that shall not happen in this chapter fufu... Though I did use some ideas from my lovely followers and readers for this chapter~!

•••

Y/N's POV

My heart stopped.

Did he.. Did he just ask if I loved him?

"W-what?" I breathed, eyes wide in shock.

"Do you love me?" Ciel asked again, this time, his eyes travelled up, from my fingers, to my arm, shoulder then face, "Do you?"

This was it. Was this the moment I've been waiting for? Or...

Was it the moment I've been dreading?

"... Depends, Ciel," my voice whispered, softening, "depends..."

"On what?"

"On whether you really love me," I replied, looking at his serious face before facing the door again, "have you thought about it Ciel?"

"Of course I have," he snapped, shaking his head, "I've thought about it so many times. So many times..."

"So have I to be honest," I quietly laughed, turning my body around to face him, "there's a lot to consider, and a lot on the line."

"I've thought about it, I really have."

"And Lady Elizabeth. What about her?"

Ciel silenced, his hand, slipping from my wrist, down to his side.

"I don't know."

I sighed. What were we to do? If Ciel and I were to... Were to really get together, what would Elizabeth say? It would be the ultimate betrayal, I would find it extremely hard to forgive myself if I were to ever hurt her... And Ciel. It would damage his name. But if we really did love each other then, would it really be worth it? I only recently discovered that he was a demon... Meaning he would be able to live as long as I. We could be together... For as long as we live. Both of us. But... Did he know that I could live as long as he? I never told him. But Ciel knew quite a bit about me...

I stepped back, before turning away again to walk up to my guest room, but stopped.

"You may have thought about it, but have you decided on it? Ciel, please tell me what you want to tell me when there is nothing in your way," I mumbled, loud enough for him to hear, "then, I shall tell you my true feelings."

I carried on walking, not looking behind me in fear that I'll see his face and come running back to him. No. I won't do that. I won't do that for our sakes. And for Elizabeth's.

•••

Ciel's POV

I let her slip away from me again. She began walking up the stairs and all I could do was stand there hopelessly. Kind of like when she stepped into that opening to that hell earlier. I didn't have anything to say when she brought up Elizabeth, and I knew exactly why. I was being selfish and greedy. I wasn't ready to part from everything I had built up on to be with her.

The Phantomhive name, the success of the business, Elizabeth, and my past self.

I was still caught up in making sure that the 'Ciel Phantomhive' that I was forced to be, still kept his existence.

But this me... I am no longer that Ciel Phantomhive that served as the Queen's guard dog burning my hatred into the world. No, I'm now this Ciel Phantomhive.