Change My Mind ( #wattys2017 )

Chapter 41

Harrys Pov:

So I decided to show up at school to check on Olivia, I still hadn't heard from her since I told her I killed Justin, wow it really does sound bad saying it like that, I killed someone. The only thing I knew was that Niall had found her and that he had stayed with her, he had texted me before asking if it was okay for him to stay the night at her house, sleeping in her brothers room, and I mean it's Niall, he wouldn't do anything, right? Anyway I texted him back saying it was fine and for him to keep her safe, and that was it, that was all I had heard from them, my best friend and my girlfriend, well at least I hope. Louis and Zayn had come with me to school and we were standing in the hallway as Olivia and Niall entered, Olivia were gripping Nialls arm with both her hands and they both were smiling and laughing, but the second she saw me her smile disappeared and her grip tightened. Niall noticed me and my clenched jaw and he immediately got free from her grip and took a step away from her, she looked so scared and hurt and I could feel the tears threatening to fall over and I felt broken at the thought that I made her feel that way. As she was looking at me I could see something change in her and she looked like she was about to come over, but then the scared look came back and she dropped her gaze and kept walking, she walked right pass me without as much as a glance, wow that really hurt. Niall came and talked to me and I asked him how she is, he told me she's fine, just a little shaken up by it all, but when I asked if I could speak with her something in his expression changed, he got more protective and told me she wasn't ready for that yet, I didn't like the way he reacted at the thought of me near Olivia but I didn't want to start a fight so I just told him to tell her that I miss her and that I need her back. He ran up to her and I stood there watching as he walked away with her, my Olivia.

***

Louis and Zayn met up with me as I was walking towards my car, I didn't really feel like doing anything since I just felt like breaking down and cry, so I told them I would just head home and I'll catch up with them later. As I was driving home I saw Olivia walking down the street and decided to stop and offer her a ride, I mean it was a long shot but how much could it hurt to just ask? I pulled over right beside her and rolled my window down "You want a ride?" I asked and she cried out in fear, this was really getting to me I mean she knows I'd never hurt her "Olivia please come on, you know I'd never hurt you" she looked like she thought about it for a while and then got in the car, I felt myself relax a little and a small smile formed on my lips, knowing that she still knew I would never hurt her and that she trusted me that much. When we were almost at her house I had gathered enough courage to ask her "Can we talk?" she looked at me and I saw new tears build in her eyes as she answered "Harry, I don't know" I sobbed and turned away from her, now looking out the window, "Please" I begged her and I heard her sigh in defeat "Fine, but just for a little while"

we walked into her house and I went up the stairs and into her room but then I stopped, was I supposed to sit down on her bed or would that be going to far, she noticed my hesitation "It's fine" she said and I sat down next to her, "Olivia please you have to understand, he hurt you, I couldn't just let him get away with that" "I can understand that Harry, but you didn't have to kill him" she whispered and I feel it hurts, the disappointment in her voice "I know, I didn't mean to kill him but when I saw his face and the smirk he had from knowing he had hurt you, I don't know it just did something to me, I couldn't stop" I was looking at my hands as I spoke, to afraid to meet her eyes, and another sob were heard

"Harry, I'm sorry but I can't, I really want to be able to tell you that everything will be fine but I can't, you killed him and I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to get over that" by now the tears were going down my cheeks as she spoke those words " I understand" I managed to cry out and then got up to leave but turned back around, knowing I had nothing left to loose I asked in a whimper " Can I just stay for a while, I've really missed you and I need you" she nodded her head yes and I immediately took my place on her bed, laying on my back and I gave her a look, begging her to lay down next to me and she did, placing her head on my chest and I wrapped her in my arms, keeping her tight, focusing only on the feeling of her in my arms, holding her even tighter at the thought of this probably being our last time together. I pecked her forehead and I heard her whimper "I don't want you to leave" and I tightened my grip even further "Then don't make me" I pleaded, my voice sad, weak and broken "I have to" she whispered, her voice even weaker than mine, making me cry out "Olivia please don't give up on me, on us, not now" I begged her and she turned her head up, placing a kiss on my cheek, she kept it there for a while and when she pulled away her eyes were still closed and a painful expression on her face"I'm sorry" she whispered and turned, her back now facing me, I sobbed as I got up and slowly left the room, turning one last time to look at her before I entered the door, as I made my way down to my car several sobs were heard from me and once I reached it I broke down in the driver seat, crying more than I even thought were possible, and I knew that this time it was true, I had really lost her.