The Bad Boy Thinks I'm Cute

Left Wondering

I stand alone on the porch for what seems like forever until my mom notices my absence and drags me inside, away from the pink, blue, and orange sunset that is now covering the ceiling of the world. I'm not crying anymore. The skin on my face feels stiff from the dried up tears. My lips are cracked and dry from sitting there breathing through my mouth since my nose was too stuffed up to breathe through.

My neck. My neck has irritated red lines from me constantly playing with the necklace. My mom told me stop. She is scared it'll look like I tried to hang myself. Look at her, just a blessed ray of sunshine. I'm just thankful she hasn't asked what's wrong, because I don't even know if any things wrong. I'm just confused.

He might as well have broke up with me if he doesn't want me hanging around him anymore. I mean, what the actual hell, Mr.I'm-not-breaking-up-with-you-but-need-you-to-distance-yourself. What. The. Hell. You can't do that. You're basically arguing with yourself. Do you want me to be with you or not?

I sink my head into my hands and wipe my already raw and red nose on my sleeve. I'm going to have to wash this shirt a hundred different times. My mom comes in to pick up the finished lunch she brought me earlier and I stop her before she walks out.

"Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" Oh boy, she called me sweetheart. She is definitely trying
to be nice to me now.

"How do you stay confident with dad? He tells you he loves you, but then he leaves and you aren't sure when you'll see him again. " I say, nonchalantly trying to get an answer for what Parker did.

"I can't say I stay confident. " My mom sighs and sits down next to me. She wraps an arm around my shoulder and I lean into her. There's something about my mom that just makes me feel comfortable and vulnerable so I just start letting the tears fall out. I shouldn't even be crying. It isn't like he broke up with me.

I guess I'm just confused. I'm frustrated and I don't know what to do.

"I just hope. All I do is hope. I hope for the best and decide to go with it and I just wait. You can't do anything else. " She rubs my arm in a soothing motion.

I look down at my hands before going up to touch the necklace again. My mom takes my hands away from it and holds them so I don't make the red marks on my neck worse.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. " I shake my head and look up at her really quickly before looking back down at my hands again.

"No, it isn't nothing. What, is there trouble in paradise?"

I just look at her. I can't say anything without remembering what he said to me earlier and I don't want to remember him telling me to get away from him as fast as I can. I don't want to. I cannot just leave him and never think of him again. I've already fallen for him and I can't get back up. And it hurts.

"I'm going to take that as a yes?" Mom waits for me to say something. When I don't she continues.

"Here's the thing sweetheart. I know you care about him a lot more than you probably should, but...sometimes you just have to let go of what you care about most before it can hurt you. Sometimes the things you love the most are what ends up killing you in the end. So you need to take a calm deep breath to get yourself together. "

"But, Mom-"

"No. I don't want to hear it. Get yourself together, Aubrey. If you let little things like this get into your head you have another thing coming. Grow a rack and get yourself together. "

"Ok. " I close my eyes and breathe in and out. Good weather in, bad weather out. Good weather in...bad weather out.

"You good?"

"Yes. Thanks, Mom. " I give her a weak smile.

She pulls me in for a hug and for once I don't mind. This is what a mother is supposed to do anyway, I guess. They're always there to pick up their children when they have fallen down. She gives me a kiss on the forehead before picking the tray of food back up and starting to walk out.

"Wait. Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I love you. "

She smiles at me and shows her teeth, something she never does. She normally smiles with a closed mouth.

"I love you, too. More than you'll ever know. " Mom stands there for a second before walking away slowly.

I stare back down at my hands. The hands Parker was just kissing the other night, telling me he loved me from my head to my toes. Now I realize how carelessly he threw the word 'love' around. If he really loves me, he wouldn't tell me to stay away from him. He'd be inviting me to come closer. But I still remember that night. It was the first time he had said it:

"Parker, stop it. " I giggle as he keeps hitting my ponytail around.

"Make me. " He challenges and I turn around to him.

"Make me make you. "

"Gladly. "

He picks me up and walks over to my bed, dropping me on top of it. He places gentle kisses down my neck. I let out a satisfied breath and tangle my hands up in his hair. He moves his lips back up to mine.

"I think I'm in love with you. " He says, breathless as he pulls back.

"We haven't been together for that long. "

"But I love you. " He states, more definite in his answer this time. "I love you. "

I grin and he grabs my hand and pulls it up to his lips.

"I love you from your head to your toes, princess. I love everything about you." He whispers, barely audible.

I just stare at him, feeling like the most special thing in the world. Parker Adams loves me. Me.

"Parker-"

"Shhhh..." Parker presses a finger to my lips.

He trails kisses down my jaw line and moves back down to my neck, biting the soft skin. I let out a moan and tilt my head back to give him more access. Parker gives me one more love bite before laying down beside me.

"What?" I turn around and rest my head on his chest.

He wraps his arms around me to pull me closer and presses a tender kiss to my forehead.

"If I don't stop now, we'll be doing exactly what your mom thinks we're always doing. " He laughs.

"What's wrong with that?" I trail little circles on his chest.

"Not right now. Not right now. "

"Hm. " I smile and close my eyes, snuggling closer to him. "I think I am in love with you, too, Parker Adams. "

How could I forget that moment? The moment he said he loved me. And the moment I said I loved him, too. The moment that gave me hickies on my neck and made my mom freak out. Now I'm wondering if he really meant it when he said it.