The Bad Boy Thinks I'm Cute

Awkward...

This is the 26th chapter. The end is coming soon :( just a few chapters from here. I didn't want to update on Christmas Eve, but here I am. This is for you, @funkyromance87, you wanted an update so I spent an hour and a half making one. Thanks for being supportive! Merry Christmas...Eve! Love y'all.

The car ride there is so awkward. Jacob and Avril are sitting up front holding hands across the console while me and Parker sit here, purposely staring down at our laps to avoid each other's face. This is so immature. We keep stealing glances at each other, but only for a second.

Avril keeps looking back at us with Jacob, as if they're waiting. God, I bet she told Jacob what I was going to do and now Parker is waiting. He probably thinks I hate him by now, though. I remember the phone call when I broke up with him:

"Parker. Parker, stop. I can't take it anymore. " I cut him off from saying what seems like the millionth apology today. I finally decided to answer him. To end it once and for all.

"What?" He asks, suddenly speechless.

"It hurts. It hurts and-"

"Aubrey, stop, we can work it out. It's my mistake that caused this. "

"I know. Ryan told me. "

"What? He told you what?" Parker suddenly sounded alarmed.

"I know. You know. " I say, suddenly full of rage and betrayal. "You hired him to try to rape me so you could swoop in like a villain disguised as a hero. I can never forgive you for that. What the hell were you thinking?! I can't date some asshole who sets me up in dangerous situations like THAT to win my love! I can't trust you!"

"I'm sorry. " His voice breaks on the other end of the line.

I rub my temple. I'm going to have a migraine later.

"Well I'm sorry I ever dated you. Leave me the hell alone. Don't bother messing with me anymore. I hate you, don't ever forget that. We're done. " With that I hung up.

I shove away the thought and I'm overtaken by another feeling of sadness. Parker stooped that low to win me over and I can understand, but he never needed to stoop that low. That was too low.

I look up and notice Parker staring at me. I give him the what look. He traces a pretend tear down his cheek and I immediately wipe away the tears that had spilled onto my cheeks at the memory. I cried so hard after that phone call, my mom gave up on trying to cheer me up after an hour. By the time I was done, my throat was raw and I couldn't talk for days. My eyes were swollen and my nose was a nasty, slimy, yellow monster.

I give him a quick look with a shrug and he lifts his hand towards mine like he wants to hold it, but then he hesitates. He drops it back down to his side and it kind of stings. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I was expecting him to try and hold my hand. Then I think of what Avril said earlier before we left. She told me that Jacob said Parker is going to try and make a move on me, but he doesn't seem too confident I'd accept him. As much as I hate what he did, I still love him. There's no denying it. I forgave him a while ago, but not being able to forget it every time he is mentioned is what gets me. I'll just have to push it past me.

I look out the window and breathe in for ten seconds and out. I can do this. I raise a shaky hand and place it on top of his without looking over at him. I keep my eyes locked on the road outside. Suddenly, I feel his hand move away from mine and for a second I think he doesn't want me to touch him at all. That he hates me after all. But my worries are soon pushed away when he holds my hand with a firm grip, his other hand resting on top. The silence and awkwardness is still suffocating us in the air, but just a little bit less. Not as bad as before. Barely.

By the way he is holding on, it's almost like he doesn't believe it. Like he thinks if he lets go he will just find out it was a dream and that I'm not really here at all. If only I could tell him I've been here all along. I can't stay mad at him for too long. Even if he did set up someone to get into my pants. Bad idea on his part, but...still. I guess it takes a bad situation to really know how much you love someone in the end.

I've missed him so much, too. I just hope we're back together by the end of tonight. I miss him sneaking to my house at midnight, wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me closer. I miss his soft lips pressing little kisses all over my neck in the most wonderful way possible. I miss him. His presence. His cologne. Spraying it on his sweatshirt and wearing it just isn't the same thing as hugging him and smelling it on him. It isn't the same at all.

I miss his warmth and the way he always says the right thing when I'm mad at something. He doesn't side with me, but he doesn't go against me, either. He just says what he would do. Well, damn. I really am a seventeen year old in love-my birthday being today, the whole reason we are going to the carnival-with an eighteen year old bad, but oh so good and perfect guy. He may be rough along the edges, but on the inside he is my teddy bear. Mine.

I look down at our hands and suppress a smile. I don't want it to look like I'm desperate even though I so totally am desperate to get back with him. Parker just doesn't need to know that. If only I could figure out if he has missed me as much I've missed him. Maybe less. Maybe more. I just want him again. Time has passed, I'm sort of over it. I just want him again. I really really really need him again.

It feels empty without him. Without him nothing is really right. Maybe I don't really need him, now that I think about it. I could live without him just fine, but life would really suck monkey ass. Really. It isn't fair that someone who is in love has to live without the person they're in love with to begin with.

Who knew such a sweet little fairytale could come out of high school? Who knew?