Follow The Music

Chapter 8: Confess

"So Cole and I got back together again." I sighed as I grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl River was hogging. We were watching Gordan Ramsay's Hells Hotels on TV.

"Really?"

"Yeah he's throwing a party to celebrate getting back together. I want you to come."

"Won't he disapprove of me coming?"

"I'll make sure he won't. I need you there with me to get me through it."

"Is there a sudden reason why you got back together with him?" River asked beside me., watching the TV.

"Publicity mainly. If we split up, it won't be good on either of our careers at this point in our public life. But also I kind of feel bad for Cole. He hasn't got any family left except for his father but they're not on good terms. So he's only got me."

"Oh. Well are you happy?"

"I don't think that matters anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You didn't do anything."

"Well I'm sorry you think that way."

"You don't agree?"

"Well, if you ask my parents, they'd say that there's nothing more important in the world than happiness and love."

"I want to know what you think."

"My parents may be eccentric hippies but I must say that I agree that happiness is important." River seemed to be really deep in thought for quite a while. "Oh shit, I think I need to leave my band." River said as he sunk in his seat on the couch.

"And join my band." I added.

"Emma..." He said warningly.

"You know you want to."

"No, I can't. Why can't you just drop it?"

"Because you're the only person we want."

He sighed. "How about you get your boyfriend Cole to join? He plays guitar and sings. You guys can do duets."

"He's a solo artist. He doesn't work well when he's part of a band and secondly he may play guitar and he may kill me for saying this but he's not very good. And also he only likes pop music. He's not really much of a music artist because he's very narrow minded in the sense that he won't appreciate music of other genres. I think he only likes the music in my band because I'm his girlfriend and he feels obligated to like it."

"Well if that's what you think then—"

"He just doesn't get it."

"What doesn't he get?"

"He doesn't feel anything when he plays, sings or listens to music. All he cares about is the fame and money. It has nothing to do with the music. He's like a robot on stage."

"Sounds empty."

"You know why we want you to join our band? It's because you actually feel something when you play your guitar. We always see you on stage playing as if you were alone in your bedroom rocking out without a single care in the world. It's because you allow the music to consume you rather than run straight past you. Wyatt wasn't like that and Cole certainly is not like that either. Not many people can be like the way you are. We need you."

"Do you really need me?" River seemed a little surprised at what I had just said.

"Yes, I need you, River. We all do."

"I was not expecting that. You know, most people would probably say something like I'm a good guitarist and that's why they would want me to join their band. It's kind of nice hearing you say that."

"Everyone already knows you're an amazing guitarist so I didn't think it necessary to repeat it. It's a given. And also if it's so nice hearing that then why don't you just join already?"

"Because it wouldn't work out."

"You keep on saying that but you don't actually ever give me a proper reason. Will you just tell me what you're thinking?!"

"You don't want to know what I'm thinking."

"Yes I do! I want you to give me the real reason why you can't join my band."

"Because I'll mess it up. I'd ruin our friendship."

"I don't get it. How?"

"I just will." He replied as he grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it in his mouth.

"That's not a proper reason!"

"Because I have feelings for you!"

"What?" I asked rather meek.

"I like you more than just a friend. And it's been going on for a little while now."

"But you can't. You're... You're a rockstar. You can't like one girl for more than two minutes. It's not possible."

"Well somehow it is. I'm not used to this so I'm not entirely sure what to say or do."

"But I'm with Cole."

"You don't have to say anything. I don't expect anything from you."

"I just don't understand."

River put the popcorn on the table and stood up. "I think I should go. I've obviously made things a little awkward between us at the moment."

I was a little too shocked to stop him from leaving. I had only woken back up into reality when the door was closed just behind him. But it was too late then. He had already left.