[18] Kaden's PoV: Secrets

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So tell me what you want to hear,

Something that will light those ears,

Sick of all the insincere,

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

This time, don't need another perfect lie.
 

~Secrets- OneRepublic



       "Hey Kaden?" Brett called as I walked past his and Kallie's office. I stopped and backed up until I was standing in the doorway. "Can you get Raine? We have to talk to you and her."

       I knew better than to really believe that. "What are you trying to do?"

       "Nothing!" Brett protested. "I'm just trying to be a good friend," he quickly added when I only raised an eyebrow in response.

       "Right... Did you and Kallie have a fight again or something?" I was used to it by now. Every time they had a fight, Brett would help Kallie in her psychotic matchmaking to try and get back on her good side. He was whipped, though he would probably never admit it.

       "No!" he yelled. I winced. And he was loud too. I shook my head and shot him a half glare. Just as I was about to leave, Kallie walked up.

       "Did you and Brett get in a fight?" I asked her.

       She shook her head slowly, looking confused. "No..."

       "See!" Brett yelled. "I'm being a good friend!"

       I rolled my eyes and stepped out of the room. He had probably done something he knew Kallie wouldn't approve of and was trying to make up for it before hand. I sighed.

       I know way too much about my best friend and my sister's relationship. I headed toward the front entrance since, as far as I knew, Raine hadn't arrived yet. I found her a couple minutes later, in the front hallway.

       "Raine?" I yelled. "Kallie and Brett want to see you."

       "Just a sec," she yelled back. I walked closer to see her talking to Xavier Scott, one of our co-stars. He played Raine’s ex-boyfriend in the film. "Last number's seven," Raine said to him. And he has a girlfriend.

       Xavier nodded. "Okay, got it, thanks. I'll text you the time and place Sunday."

       What were they planning? I wondered if I should ask, but it wasn't my business, so I opted for a simple greeting instead. "Hey Xavier," I said. I reached for Raine's hand, but she pulled away, shaking her head.

       "He knows." She paused and glanced at me, then turned back to Xavier. "I should go see what Kallie and Brett want," she said. I nodded to Xavier before following after Raine.

        "They asked me to get you so they could speak to us together," I told her, noticing the confused expression on her face. She nodded, and didn't speak again as we walked to Brett's office.

       "Hey," Brett said. "Come in and close the door."

        I shut the door behind me, then turned to look at him and Kallie. "What's going on?"

       "Slight change of script. Possibly," Kallie answered. "Apparently a Titanic re-telling movie hit gold at the box office so Summer Productions wants us to include some tragedy."

       I rolled my eyes. There was no way a tragedy could fit into Call Me Cupid. It would end up ruining the movie. But Kallie and Brett probably already knew that.

       "But Call Me Cupid's not really a good base for tragedy..." Raine said.

       "I know. They just need a little convincing. So we need you guys to practice over the top, tragic love confessions, so we can show them it won't fit. Make sure it's extremely over the top," Brett instructed, handing us each a couple sheets of paper. They were filled with exaggerated, over-the-top, cheesy tragedy lines. Stuff no one would ever really say in real life. And we're back to this again. I bet were going to end up in the storage room again.

       Raine was thinking the same thing as me. "I don't suppose we're going back to the storage room?"

       Brett grinned. "You're getting good at this, Raine." He led us down the hall to a small room filled with props and a small bed, the one Raine's character had for the movie. He grinned and moved to shut the door.

       "I'll be right back," I muttered to Raine as I tugged Brett out of the room. "What are you and Kallie trying to do?"

       He widened his eyes to put on an exaggerated image of innocence. "Nothing! Just trying to prove Summer Productions wrong," he said. "We figured you didn't want to practice in front of everybody."

       He had a point there.

       I was about to let it go... But then he opened his mouth again. "Besides," he started, a little too cheerfully. "You get to say all the things you've ever wanted to say to her!"

       "I never said I wanted to re-enact Titanic," I told him.

       "You've never seen Titanic, Kade," he pointed out.

       I sighed. "Brett, there's something called 'the point', you're missing it."

       "Raine used to use that line all the time, you know," Brett said, stroking his chin in an exaggerated thoughtful manner. I shot him a flat look. "We're just trying to help."

       "It's been three years."

       He snorted. "And nothing's changed."

       "I don't need you and Kallie... Messing around with this," I told him.

       He shot me a doubtful look. "Without us you guys would be getting nowhere. Nowh-" I didn't wait for him to finish, just shot him a glare and walked back to the storage room, shutting the door behind me.

       "Hey. Sorry about that. Ready to start?" I said Raine. She shot me a questioning look, but thankfully, didn't ask about what Brett and I had been talking about. Instead, she glanced down at her sheet, trying to get into character, I think. "You're looking at me like I just ran over your dog," I told her, trying to keep from laughing when she looked back up. She stopped, and rearranged her expression into a heartbroken one.

       "I feel so stupid doing this," she said, all while maintaining the sad expression.

       I blinked. "Well, at least we get paid for it," I finally said.

       For a couple seconds, the only sound in the room was the thud of Raine's forehead hitting the wall.


****


       Half an hour later, I was ready to kill Kallie and Brett.

       The door was locked.

       "Please don't tell me it's locked," Raine said from behind me.

       "Well it's not opening," I replied, turning the handle again. It didn't move.

        "Let me try." I heard her get off the bed and walk up beside me. I released the doorknob and stepped aside. It didn't work for her either."If this is one of Kallie's schemes or something, I'm going to kill her. Can you call her? I left my phone in my dressing room," she said, turning to look at me.

       "Yeah sure." I pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on. I glanced at the battery percentage as I typed in the password and a quiet curse slipped out. Two percent battery left. "Forgot to charge it last night," I said, looking up at Raine. "I should have enough for one more call, though." The relief on her face was immediate. Ouch. I didn't know she hated me that much. I ignored that thought and dialed Kallie's phone number.

       She answered a few seconds later. "Hey Kade, having fun?"

        "Kal? The door's not opening," I told her, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at her answer.

       She snorted. "It's not opening?" she repeated. "You didn't forget how to open a door, right?"

       I sighed. "No, I didn't forget how to open a door."

       "Are you sure you're doing it right, then?" she teased. Or at least, I hoped she was teasing and didn't actually think I was stupid enough to forget how to open a door. For some reason, Kallie didn't sound very surprised or concerned. If her and Brett had planned this and locked the door...

       I groaned. "Don't even. Can you just come unlock the door?"

       "That door doesn't have a lock, Kade," she said.

       "Well, it's jammed or something, can you see if you can fix it?"

       "Okay, okay, fine. I still thi-" I didn't get to hear the rest as silence filled the line. I pulled the phone away from my ear to see that the screen had drained to black.

       "It's dead. She should be coming, though," I told Raine, who nodded and pressed her ear to the door.

       "Kallie?" she yelled a moment later.

       It wasn't my sister at the door, though, or at least, it wasn't her that replied. Instead, it was my idiot of a best friend.  "Raine, why didn't you help Kaden remember how to open a door?"

       He should really be glad I'm stuck on the other side of the door.  "I didn't forget how to open a door, Brett, it's jammed." I grinned when he tried and the handle didn't turn. "See?"

       Brett, and whoever else was on the other side of the door with him, tried the doorknob a couple times more, then Raine and I tried again, but it stayed stuck. Sometime during the attempts Kallie must've arrived, because after a suggestion of breaking down the door, she yelled that she would call someone to come fix it. Then a couple minutes later she told us it would be an hour before they arrived.

       I was starting to question whether she and Brett had planned this again.

       "What are we supposed to do in here for an hour?" Raine asked, eyes wide.

       "You're dating, and you're locked in a room with a bed together! I'm sure you can figure out something to do!" Brett yelled, causing a blush to immediately spread across Raine's cheeks. For a moment an image of what Brett has suggested flashed through my mind. It was quickly chased away, however, when Raine started banging her head against the wall.

       "Whoa, wait until we're out of earshot first guys!" Why the hell was I friends with this dumbass? Raine banged her head against the wall again. I glanced at her to see her eyes screwed shut, looking somewhat embarrassed and a little like she was in pain. That can't be good for her.

       "Wait, on second thought, maybe don't do that, we need that bed for filming!"

       "Walk away, Brett, walk away," I yelled, then grabbed her before she could really hurt herself. She sighed and collapsed on the bed.

        "So what do we for the hour we're waiting?" she asked, staring at the ceiling. Which was good because she didn't notice me watching her.

       "Game of Truth?" I suggested, sitting down on the bed next to her.

       She shot me a confused look. "What?" Suddenly I had the inane urge to brush the hair that had fallen over her face when she had collapsed onto the bed. Too much time around Kallie, I told myself harshly.

        "Twenty questions, basically. Except, if you're caught in a lie, you have to do whatever the other person says," I explained. I could see her hesitation, so I raised an eyebrow, challenging her. Raine usually couldn't resist challenges like this.

        It worked. "Bring it," she agreed, grinning. Then it faltered as she realized that she has fallen for it.

       Except I wasn't going to let her back out of it. This was the first time we were really alone since what had happened with Jared. And I wanted to know what had happened with that bastard. I started off easy, though. "Okay, first question, are you going to Julliard?" I already knew the answer, but I didn't know if she would really play.

       She seemed to mimic my approach. "Yeah. Why are you studying Law beside your acting?"

        "I'm supposed to take over the business in a few years," I replied. "How did you meet Blake again?"

       "He's the roommate of Devon's potential, future boyfriend," I raised an eyebrow at the answer but didn't comment. "Why are you acting instead of just studying Law?"

       I sighed. Looks like she's gonna be doing harder questions too then. "It's complicated. I guess it's a good way to stay connected to memories," I answered. No way was I gonna tell her that I had started because it reminded me of her. Not yet, at least, when she didn't care. "Did you forgive Jared?" I asked. Screw building up to it.

        She gulped. "Yes."

       What. The. Fuck.

       He raped her.

       And she forgave him?

        Raine swallowed again, before countering the question with one of her own. "Why didn't you ever tell me about what you did?"

       What I did? I smiled wryly. "I did a lot of things, you're going to have to be more specific, Sunshine."

       "Telling Jared's mom," she choked out.

       Really? Of all things, that was what she wanted to know? "It never came up." It hadn't been worth telling her. Her eyes narrowed at my answer, but I ignored that. "Why did you forgive Jared?"

       "He deserved it," she replied. Bullshit. There was no way she could truly believe that. But she could. Raine always forgives easily. After all, she was talking to me right now, wasn't she? "Why didn't you tell me about Jared's mom? For real."

       "It wasn't enough," I let out a dark chuckle, but it came out a bit more like a sigh.

       She stared at me with wide eyes. Innocent, and like an open book to me, even after all these years. "How?"

       I shook his head, not wanting to tell her. I already knew what her reaction would be. "I think it's my turn now." She glared at me, but didn't object. "What did he say?"

       "He's changed." Holy. Fucking. Hell. Just how gullible was Raine? She couldn't believe that he had really changed. No way. He had fucking raped her. What the hell had he told her?

        "That's not an answer, I said.

       She shook her head. "If you can by cryptic, I can too." I almost, almost smiled. A kind of ironic smile. So she had finally learned how to deal with me.

       I hated it.

       "How wasn't it enough?" she demanded. She kept her eyes trained on me, watching my expression.

       I looked away from her to try and keep my expression impassive. I knew how to, and I had definitely done it enough in my life, but I had a feeling it didn't work so well this time. "Can you really sit there and tell me that going to whine to someone's mom is enough for just fucking watching someone almost get fucking raped?" I had been expecting her question or a response like that, but it still pissed me off. I wasn't sure if I was mad at myself, or if I was mad at her.

       She blinked, then whispered her answer. The wrong answer. "Yes." Like I had expected. I wanted to grab her and demand how she thought it could possibly be even close to enough, but I didn't. Because I already knew the answer.

       I looked down, away from her and chuckled darkly. "Of course you believe that." Before she could ask what I meant, because I knew she would, I moved on. "Did Jared ask to get back together with you?"

       "No. He met someone. What did you mean?" And she asked, like I knew she would.

       I forced a confused expression, even though I knew exactly what she wanted to know. "By what?" I should've already had an answer, Dad had started training me to think fast since I could walk, but things like that seemed to disappear around Raine.

       "'Of course you believe that'," she repeated, half-hearted my trying to imitate my voice.

       I didn't think, just spoke. Hard, cruel words, probably harsh enough to hurt her. "You're always so happy with so much less than you deserve. Than anyone deserves, really. If that guy hasn't stepped in, you would've been raped-"

       "I like to believe that you would've stopped it if it had gone that far," she interrupted, glancing at me. Innocent eyes, again.

       I smiled, but it was more twisted than cheerful, more mocking than sincere. "I'd like to believe that too. How? How can you believe it's enough?"

       "Because! When someone tells you the belief you started a huge fight over isn't true, you don't question whether or not it's enough. Because. You've probably already done a lot worse." She shut her eyes, as if that could stop this twisted game.

       But it was her words, that had been barely above a whisper, that caught my attention. That made everything make sense. "Is that from your parents?" I asked.

        "Is that your question?" she asked, body tense. I waited until she opened her eyes, then nodded. I already knew her answer from her reply, but I wanted to hear her say it. "Yeah," she said. "Why do care? Do you pity me or want to get in my pants or something?"

       I laughed again. And she was asking me this now. Not years ago, when I might have actually answered yes and she would've stayed and we wouldn't be in this mess. "It's a lot more complicated than that. I was curious at first. You were the only girl I knew who treated me normally. So I wanted to see if I could break you. You said no the first time, but it only really made me more determined."

       "I guess it's true when they say guys want what they can't have," she said, closing her eyes again. "And you didn't stop to think what it might do to our friendship?"

       I snorted. "I was an arrogant, fifteen year old boy who had had everything handed to him on a silver platter since birth. Of course I didn't stop to think." I stopped and shook my head. Might as well just tell everything now. There wasn't really any going back. "You never stopped surprising me. When I asked to keep it private, you said fine. I thought you would've wanted to flaunt it, or something."

       She opened her eyes and glared at me. "What kind of person did you think I was?"

       I shrugged and looked away from her. "Raine, when you grow up to classmates kissing your ass because mommy and daddy told them to for the best toys and teachers treating you like a ticking bomb, you kind of think everyone's using you."

       "I knew you before I knew how much you were worth, Kaden!" she yelled. She was so close to hating me, I could tell. I could see it in her expression, and hear the venom in her voice.

       And I should've kept going, let her hate me. But I was selfish, and I didn't want that. "I know! But it's just like this little voice in the back of your head that never shuts up," I said. "And it's not like I believed it for long. You kept surprising me, and it felt easy, and I ended up-"

       She stopped me, clamping a hand over my mouth before I could finish. "Don't say it, Kaden."

       I pushed her hand away. "Why not?"

       "Just don't." She wouldn't look at me.

        "Why are you so scared of love?"

        "Is that your question?"

        "Yes, you owe me three." Maybe it was cheap, keeping track like that and using it against her, but I wanted to know. I wanted to understand her, know everything until I could guess everything going through her ever confusing mind.

       "What?"

       "You asked three different questions in the explanation. Now answer my question."

       She sighed, and glared at me, but answered. "I don't want love if it's all just screaming fights."

       I wasn't surprised, not really. I had just wanted to hear her say it, confirm what I thought. "Your parents were happy, Raine. Maybe not all the time, but they're happy together. You know that, right?"

       "I know. But like you said, it's like a tiny voice in the back of your head," she told me.

       "Raine-" I started.

       She cut me off. "Next question, please."

       I wanted to keep asking about her parents, but I knew that would be pushing it too far. And I had already done that enough today. "Do you regret it?"

       It took her some time to answer. "A little," she finally said. Ouch.

       "All of it?" I forced myself to ask.

       She shook my head. "Just some parts. Sometimes, I wonder what would've been if, if I hadn't ended it when I did. The way I did."

       "There was nothing wrong with the way you ended it." Not like I did it any better.

       "This is the Game of Truth, Kaden. Are you really going to lie to me and say a break up by note after 'I love you' isn't a bitch move?" she asked. I winced at the memory of how everything had happened. But it wasn't her fault.

       "With your parents, it's understandable," I told her.

       She shot me a flat look, then shaking her head. "Next question."

       I didn't really want to let it go yet, but there was one last thing I wanted to know. One last question I wanted to answer to, even if it killed both of us. It had been bothering me for years, since this all started. "Fine. Why Jared?"

       "What?"

       "Out of all the guys at our school, why did you have to choose one of my best friends?" The words came out harsher than I intended, but I didn't take them back, just watched her carefully. She gulped, but didn't respond. "Answer, Raine."

       She shook my head. "I don't want to play anymore, Kade."

       "Answer the question." I knew I should've stopped, that this game had already turned twisted enough, but I couldn't. I just needed to know why. Why it had to have been him and why she had seemed to flaunt it in my face. I wouldn't be able to let it go until I really knew. But she wasn't going to answer. "Raine-" Just when I was about to give up, she started talking.

       "I don't know, okay? I don't know! I just wanted to forget. I didn't want to think about it. I had never thought of him that way, maybe he had, he came to me and I just didn't think. Bells said it might be because he reminded me of you. I don't know. I'm messed up that way, okay?" Her answer had started as a yell but she had gotten quieter and quieter. She stared at me, silent tears running down her cheeks and I knew I probably should've done something. Comforted her somehow. Except, I couldn't.

       Because, as disgusting as it was, I almost felt happy with her confession. I shouldn't have, especially since she confused, and crying-

       But I did.




-READ ME-

Sorry this took so long. I got kinda stuck, because I wanted Kaden to be Kaden, but still make it, like, realistic and guy-ish. This is my first time writing from a guy's PoV, in first person. Comment your opinion? :3
Anyway, I'll be posting The Trouble with Love soon, around the first week of November. I can tell you right now that Devon's in the first chapter, and so is Raine.
I'll post one last thing to this story, then I'm done. It's just a playlist and Q&A.  I'll probably post the Q&A part when I post the first chapter of TTWL. If you have any questions about this story, or me, comment them below.
In the meantime, please check out my story Over Again. I just finished posting it and I've entered it in the Watty Awards.

~JJ :)

PS. TEASER FROM CHAPTER ONE OF THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE:

      "What was Ashton Sinclair doing here?" I asked, attempting a casual tone as I spun around in his chair.

      "You know him?" he said, dodging the question.

      I nodded. "He goes to my school," I replied. This caused Devon to raise an eyebrow. I often told Devon about the people at Blaire Academy, but never mentioned names.

      "Do you have a secret on him?" He looked, and sounded amused. I usually told Devon about the little things I guessed about people through observing. Devon had been the one to teach me about how to watch people's reactions and body language and use them to learn things, after all.

      I shook my head. I didn't know much about the Elite other than what I had heard from people. All of them were good at hiding things. They were a very private group, despite almost always being the center of attention. Nothing about them slipped unless they wanted it to. I switched back to what we had been talking about -or rather, what I had been asking him- before Devon distracted me. "When he said Kaden... Did he mean, like, my dad?"

      "It's just business Lennie, don't worry about it." The bad things about Devon knowing body language was that he could lie.

      Very, very well.

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