Smothered (bxb)

Fighting, Frustration and The Varsity Team

When I got home that night I texted Gus on his new number. I laid in bed, surrounded by dim lighting and the smell of burning candles and old library books. The feeling of my stomach being twisted tightly into a knot wouldn't go away, I just needed to see Gus again, I needed to be with him. Being away from him was unbearable... and not just because I was worried about him. I wanted to kiss his soft lips, I wanted to feel his long, wavy hair run through my fingers, I wanted to be wrapped tightly in his arms, comfortable and safe from the rest of the world. But I couldn't right now. So the next best thing was texting him.

Hey. It's me.

Rain?

Yeah. How are you?

It's quiet here right now. Frank left for the bar.

Is that good?

Not really. I'm just hiding in my room for now. Not sure what will happen later on when he gets back.

I hope you'll be okay, I'm so freaking worried about you all the time. I just want to give you a hug and make sure you are safe.

I wish you could too.

Will you let me know If anything happens?

Of course. Hey, I'll be fine. Don't worry okay?

Screw that. I can't help it.

I know, I'm sorry.

I wish you didn't live there. Why can't you just live with me and my mum? We have room at our place. Can't we find a way for you to leave the home?

I wish it were that simple Rain. But the fastest thing that can help me is waiting until I turn 18.

That's in like 2 months! Why can't you get help sooner?! It's bullshit.

I know Rain.

I'm so frustrated!

Me too... Rain?

Yeah?

I love you.

I love you too Gus.

I have to go, I think the other boys are looking for me. I'll be fine, sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, be safe. I love you.

Love you.

After our conversation, the painful pit in my stomach calmed down a bit and was more like an ache than anything. It was a constant reminder of the separation between Gus and I; he seemed so far apart from me. I felt helpless, powerless, I wanted to do something... anything! Would calling the police help? I thought about what would happen, but I knew that if Frank was let a single chance to get his hands on Gus after that, he'd strangle him. So I couldn't... all I could do was wait. I eventually fell asleep with my phone clutched tightly in my hands in case Gus tried calling me. He didn't, which must have meant that he was okay tonight.

"Rain!" My mother yelled from the kitchen, "Get out of bed! You're late!" I snapped my eyes opened and looked at my clock. It was 8:15 twenty minutes till first block. I needed to get there in ten so I could meet Gus in the morning! Shit!

I raced around my room grabbing the first clothes I could see on the floor which ended up being black skinny jeans (the super tight ones) and an old black hoodie with a Billy Talent logo on it. I ran into my bathroom, combed my hair, splashed my face with freezing water, brushed my teeth and ran out into the kitchen. I flung myself throughout the room, grabbing an apple and the sandwich my mother made me and shoving them in my backpack and ran out the door.