The Pastor Daughter

letting go

I felt better after completely braking down in front of john. It was like I had bipolar but I know some topics put me on the edge and that's what happened .it's been years since I felt like someone really care about me . since my mother died I thought that no one care and they would only want me if I gave them something that benefit them . I'm scared what if am putting false hope in myself ? what if john is just like everyone else? they act nice then they begin to hurt me .

"are you okay in there?" John asked .

"yes I'm coming out now ," I told him.

I washed my face one last time and stepped out the bathroom .

"Do you want something to eat," he asked.

"yes," I told him.

"i made dinner and I was hoping after we could go for a walk ?" he asked look very nervous.

that was the first time I have every seen him looking anything other than confident .

"yes, I don't mind going on a walk with you," I said.

he lead me to the table . he pulled out my chair and when I sat he pushed it back in.

he made baked chicken with rice and Pease. I'm not going to lie he's a really good cook.

"your cooking is good," I said.

"thank you ," he said smiling .

after we where finished eating he place the dishes in the dish washer and we headed out the house . he locked the door behind us.

"have you been enjoying your stay ?" john asked.

"yes , I love it," I said smiling at him.

"okay , since you like with me for now you have to come church with me," he said.

"I don't have a problem it's the least I can do since you where so nice to me," I said .

when we reached near a store john asked me," would you like some chocolate ,"

"I don't like chocolate ," I told him.

"but I do like skittles," I said running into the store with john near to me.

while taking up about five bags of skittles I heard the store  door open. I looked to see nun other than josh walking in. I ran in the isle and john followed me.

"what happen?" he asked.

"Josh ," I said.

"why are you worrying he kicked you out his house ," john said.

"your right ," I said and I walked from behind the shelf .

josh had a case a bear in his hand and he was looking at the casher . he looked at me and looked off then he looked back at me with a shocked expression but that was quickly change when he saw john behind me. he looked piss and I was afraid .

he storm at me. john came in front of me in a protective manner.

"you got me the last time but not this time," josh said pulling out a gun from his side .

"please ," I cried .

"come with me ," Josh ordered me.

I was about to step from behind john but john stopped me.

" take your hands off her," josh screamed .

"you threw he out and you beat her and threw her out and you want her to come with you?" john said angry .

" I don't have to explain nothing to you . pass her or I'll shoot you," he said very angry .

I tried moving again but john stopped me.

bang the gun sounded off I saw john fell on the ground in pain his shirt has began to soak in blood. I dropped to the ground and began to cry .

josh pulled me up and with him while I cry and plead to go back to john .

he pushed me in his car and locked the door . I cried and cried. he brought me back to his house and he pulled me out his car while I try to fight him off .  he dragged me in the house while I continued fighting . he dragged me to the living room and dropped me on the couch .

BANG! a slap sound off of my cheeks . I hole the side of my face.

" I did so much things for you and as I tried to teach you to be faithful  by throwing you out . you went to that man . I planned for him this time and now your going to learn it's your fault he's dead and if you try to do this again I'll kill them and if you try to leave me I'll kill you too, if I can't have you no one can," he said looking really crazy .

h grabbed me by my hair and pulled me in for a kiss . his kiss was hard a rough . I didn't kiss him back and that was a big mistake .BANG! the second slap hit my face .

" don't fucking mess with me kiss or I'll kill you to," he said.

I kissed him back .I wanted to puck in my mouth . then he began  taking off my clothes .

" no please not now," I plead .

BANG! another slap but this time I continued to fight . he beat me until I almost black out . then he rapped me I cried in pain and blacked out while being rapped and they said God loved me why would he make that happen?