The Pastor Daughter

one last breath

i woke up to find myself naked and David gone . i guess in my drunk start i had sex. it didn't shock me because it wasn't the first time. i got up and stretched out all my laziness that's when it hit me my head started to hurt me the after effect of drinking . i wonder where David is i put back on my clothes from last night. i'm not going to lie i look like shit . i washed off the makeup off my face i found a sealed toothbrush in the draw so i use it and brushed me teeth .my neat  bun turned into a messy bun . but it still looked nice. i got all my things and left the hotel i guess David had something to do maybe that's why i didn't see him when i woke up.

i had to work tonight so i will see him again. i took a cab   home . i reached home took a bath i feel asleep right back to sleep. i woke back up two o'clock in the afternoon it's soon time for me to go to work so i finished up then place my hair in a high pony tail , put on a light makeup consist of eye liner , mascara and lip stick. i ironed and my work uniform and put them on. i was ready for work shortly after. my work is no far from where i live so i walked to work. in no time i was at work . 

i stepped in to see David at the counter talking to the bartender Mia . 

"he David can i please speak to you?" i asked him . 

"yes sure ," he said.

we walked over to a place that was privet .

" umm i felt a kind of wired since we had sex and you where not there when i woke up and you didn't even call ?" i asked i was so nervous since t was the first time i have ever date someone and then had sex i didn't know what suppose to happen after .

"listen Nelly am not your boyfriend for you to be asking me where i was and why i didn't call you i was just drunk sex nothing else ," he said walking away looking at me with disgust . 

i felt the tears at the back of my eyes i wanted to go in a corner and cry my eyes out. i should no better no one have never loved me and wanted just me not only my body . why do i really excise do God just want me to be his punching bag am tired of this i just want someone to love me. i sucked up my tears and hold my head high even though it felt like my heart was being ripped apart . 

by the time i was finished working i was even more depress seeing all those couples, family and friends and i had no one.

i walked to the bridge instead of going home. i sat down on the ledge and the best thought came to me why don't i just kill myself and all the suffering will be gone . i couldn't swim so there is no way i could changed my mind. i stood at the edge of the wall. i looked at the water and i was just about to jump.

"Nelly!" i heard a voice that was so familiar to me now.. i looked at the side and saw john . i was just about to move away but i feel right over straight into the water . i tried to go back up but i was helpless . i tried and i tried it felt like my head was bursting i took one last look i could swear i saw someone but i blacked out.

with one large breath my eyes flew open to see john over me .

"what were you thinking?" he asked me looking angry and still relived at the same time.

"why does it mater to you?" i asked getting angry myself i didn't ask him to save me i wanted to die.

"i was the one to jump in and save you," he said looking even angrier.

" i didn't  asked you to save me," i lashed out .   

he moved away from me and punched the ground  . 

"God please help me with this one ," he said looking in the sky.

" listen i don't care what you say but  there is no reason you should commit  suicide only a stupid   person does  that. God does not give you more than you can handle ." he said .

" just shut up you don't know me , you can't judge  me," i cried out.

" so let me know you," he answered back.

" i was abused and raped by my father at a young age . i was already having sex for money by thirteen, i started work at the strip club shortly after so i could make my own money to move away from my drunkard father .. wile working at the strip club i met a pimp and i started doing escort to mostly really rich people. that's how i met Josh my ex boyfriend and you knew what happened with him and just last night i got drunk and i slept with David and now he doesn't want me why does no one love me? " i said begging to cry again .

" God loves you," he said .

" so why does he allow these things to happen to me?" i asked.

" you have to come to him before he can work on you," he said