torn

chapter 3

Louis got to his room and laid in his bed, the lights out. But he couldn’t get himself to go to sleep. Everything he wanted to say to Harry kept going over in his head, like he was practicing for a speech or something. Louis didn’t want Harry to think he was mad at him, because he wasnt. All he wanted to know is why he was acting so differently lately.

After awhile of laying and thinking in bed, he turned to his clock. 2am. He grabbed it and set the alarm for 6am. Then rolled over hoping to finally fall asleep. Harry didn’t go straight to bed either.

He was nervous of what Louis was going to say to him. Harry knew he had been acting a little off at the concerts but he had his reasonings. He just didn’t want Louis to know them. It was nothing Louis had done to him, but it definently involved him. He tossed and turned trying to get his mind off the situation and just get some sleep. A little after 2am he was out.

Louis alarm buzzed in his ear for several seconds before he flopped over to hit the off botton. He stayed laying in bed for awhile before forcing himself to get up. He walked into the bathroom to see his need to shave. He used the toilet and got a shower ready. He left his pants on the bathroom floor as he stepped into the warm water. About 15 minutes later he stepped out, wrapped a towel around his waist, and made his way to the sink. He shaved his face to a clean smooth texture, then went back to his room to get dressed. He pulled out a purple-maroon pair of skinny jeans from his suit case, followed by a tan, collared shirt. After getting dressed he began working on his hair.By the time he finished, it was nearly 7.

Harry woke minutes before his alarm was set to go off. He went to the bathroom to wash his face. On his way back to his room, there was a knock on his door. Louis he thought. He felt himself grow nervous again. He anwsered the door, still in his underwear.

“Did I wake you?” Louis asked once he saw Harry wasn’t dressed.

“No.” Harry said hoarsely, turning to go back to his bed.

Louis bit his lip, holding back tears, as he slowly closed the door behind him. He starred at the door for awhile, debating if he should leave now. He hadn’t been in here for 2 seconds and Harry had already made him feel like shit. He kind of just wanted to run out of his room, out of the hotel, and curl up on the side of the street. 

Of all the boys he was obviously closest with Harry. They were always there for each other, told each other everything, and did everything together. And for some reason something had changed Harry, and Louis wanted to know what it was. But he was scared.

Scared of what he’d find out. Scared it would change him too. Scared he wouldn’t like what he heard. scared. 

He found his hand reach out and grip the handle. He wasn’t sure if he was going to bail or not, but it was still there just in case.

“What you have to say?” Harry said, his voice defected, obviously in motion. Louis turned around. Harry was pulling a shirt over his head, he already had pants on. Louis had the urge to go off on him. All his fear had quickly turned into anger. 

“Why are you being such an asshole?” Louis calmly released, watching Harry’s head appear over his shirt collar. Harry laughed.

“Haven’t a always been?” Louis shook his head, feeling a lump in his throat. 

“No. You’ve always been the cheeky, happy Harry that was always overly friendly with me. And now. Now i feel like you’re pushing me out of your life. If you don’t want me in it then maybe i’ll just leave.” 

Louis turned and walked back to the door, wiping his cheeks clean before Harry could see he’d been crying. He already felt embarrassed crying in front of Liam, he didn’t want Harry to see too. Once again he set his hand on the handle but didn’t open it before Harry’s hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Did i seriously do this to you? I just wanted to protect you, i didn’t mean to hurt you.” Louis slowly turned into the touch. There eyes met and Harry saw just how red his eyes had gotten. He pulled Louis into a hug, allowing himself to start crying.

Louis pulled back shortly after. “Harry, i don’t understand. What are you trying to protect me from?” 

Harry leaned his back against the wall. “Louis, am i being stupid, coming out to everyone?” Louis made his way in front of his best friend and grabbed his right hand. 

“Is this what everything is about? Harry, im so proud of you for being brave enough to come out.” 

Harry slid his back down the wall, letting his fingers slid out of Louis’ grip. Soon Louis was sitting beside him, against the wall. After they sat quietly for minutes, only the sound of Harry sniffling, Louis began to speak again. 

“That still doesn’t answer what you’re protecting me from.” Louis stood starring at Harry, anticipating what he was about to say. Harry lifted his head and looked over at Louis.

“The media. The fans.” His voice was a quiet whimper. Louis grew confused. “Why would i need to be protected from them?”