Divine Will

Chapter Twenty Six - Taking a Break

"So, do you want to tell me what happened today exactly?" Julian asked me after we had tucked the kids into bed.

We had stayed at the park a little while longer after Victor and Marie had left before we came back home. Charlie had tagged along saying he didn't have anything better to do. I prepared a light dinner since we were all full from lunch. Charlie went home when it started to get late and that's when we tucked the kids into bed.

"What do you mean?" I feigned ignorance. Julian looked at me with an 'are you kidding me' expression. "It's nothing, Julian."

"So, kicking your mother in law out of your house in considered nothing?" He asked me. "I wonder what you will do with my mom in that case. Maybe you won't let her inside your house in the first place."

I looked at Julian like I was looking at a complete stranger who didn't know me at all. "It's not what you think." I told him; my tone was cold.

"What is it then?" He whisper yelled; knowing that the kids were asleep.

"It's... "

Julian interrupted me before I could continue. "It's not something you can talk about." He finished the sentence. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Let me in, Rosie. I need you to let me in. Every time I get too close to you, you push me away. We all have things in our pasts that we're not happy about or proud of, but I assure you that I won't judge you." He said. "I love you, Rosie. Why can't you understand that?"

"I do understand that." I told him honestly. "It's just that those are things from my past that I don't like to talk or think about. Please." I held his hands in mine and pleaded with my eyes.

Julian sighed and shook his head. "You're going to be my wife, Rosie. It's my right to know everything about my wife to be."

I nodded. "Yes, you're right, but please this is something that still hurts me deep inside. You'll know when the time is right. I promise."

"I'm willing to help you, Rosie. I want to help you erase everything bad that has ever happened to you. I only want you to be happy."

"I know that, my love." I placed my hand on his face; and he turned his face sideways and placed a kiss on the palm of my hand.

We didn't say anything after that; both of us lost in our thoughts. I did want Julian to know everything about me, but there were certain things in my past; certain people that have hurt me and hurt the kids as well that I still didn't like to talk about. Julian had every right to know, but I just wasn't ready to talk about it. I didn't want to relive the painful memories. I sighed as I looked up at Julian. He had his eyes trained on the TV, but I knew he wasn't paying attention to what was on. I drew circles on his chest and I could feel him relaxing under my touch.

"Spend the night?" I asked him and he nodded with a half hearted smile then bent down and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

#

I woke up the next morning with my head on Julian's chest. I looked up at him with a smile on my face. "Good morning, my love" I greeted him, but he didn't reply. He just stared at the ceiling. I sat up straight and looked at him. "Julian, are you okay?" I asked him.

Julian turned his face sideways so that he was looking at me, but he didn't say a word. He stared at me for what seemed like a very long time before he asked. "Who hurt you so bad?"

I looked at him for a moment; confusion written all over my face. "I don't understand."

"You have definitely been hurt by someone in your past that you have yet to recover from."