Undercover (Phan)

Chapter 11

Phil's POV

I wake up with a jolt from another nightmare. My heart beats out of my chest and cold sweat drips out of every pore in my body. I take deep breaths, my lungs begging for oxygen that they can't seem to get. I think about getting my bearings. I take in my surroundings, grounding, looking for things that I can see and hear and smell and taste and touch again. I grip my sheets beneath me as I try to focus on the fact that I'm safe in my own home in my own bed in my normal, ordinary life. I'm safe.

I'm safe.

Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?

I look at my phone to see what time it is. Only five minutes before my alarm is supposed to go off. No use in going back to sleep now. I flop down onto my bed, savoring these five minutes while they last and I browse through my phone. I have a text. Who on Earth is messaging me this early? I tap on the notification, and I can't help but smile when I see that it's Dan.

Feeling better, I'll definitely be at school today :)

My smile grows and I get a tingling feeling in my stomach. I respond.

Awesome! I'll see you there!

I don't think I've ever been so excited to go to school. Why? He was only gone for a day. It's not like it's been years since I've seen Dan. Did I really miss him that much with him being gone for one day? Yesterday wasn't any different than it was before Dan started coming to my school. Have I already gotten so used to him being there after such a short amount of time? I'm really starting to get attached to him, which I suppose isn't a bad thing per-se, but he seems pretty sure that he won't be in Manchester permanently, so I'll definitely miss him when he leaves.

Not to mention if my paranoia is correct...

But it's not!

I'm fine.

My phone buzzes again. It's Dan.

Do you maybe wanna come over again after school today?

A huge smile makes its way across my face.

Totally! I've got to ask my mum, but I doubt she'll have a problem with it.

I throw the covers to the side with three minutes to spare until my alarm rings, already ready to start my day. I prepare my clothes, shut my alarm off when it sounds, then head to the washroom to shower up. Once I'm satisfied with my shower, as much as I don't want to leave my small space of warmth, I force myself to get out of the shower, wrap all three towels around myself and go back to my bedroom - which is much colder in comparison to my now steamy washroom - dress myself and fix my hair before heading downstairs to eat. 

My mum comes downstairs a few moments later.

I just sigh in greeting, "Mum, you can't keep doing this."

"I know, I know, I can see that this bothers you. Believe me. I just came to check on you. I worry about you," She says, standing on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

I soften, then give her a hug, understanding, "I worry about you too."

"You let me do the worrying, honey. I'm your mother, it's my job to worry about you."

"I know, but you haven't exactly been yourself these past few months..."

She sighs and we break the embrace, "I know," She says, "I really am trying, Phil. I know it doesn't always look like it, but I am."

"I know," I say, nodding.

"You seem in a good mood today," She says, changing the subject, "Will Dan be back at school today?"