Undercover (Phan)

Chapter 19 (Trigger Warning)

A/N: Writing in English class again because YOLO. Also TRIGGER WARNING. It's occurred to me that if you've ever lost a parent or a loved one, this chapter may be a little triggering.

Phil's POV

"You're here! Where were you yesterday?!"

Dan jumps at me approaching him at his locker and blurting this out to him with no context. He whirls around to look at me with wide eyes. He didn't answer any of my texts about not being at school yesterday; I didn't hear a single word from him. I was so worried! I didn't know what could have happened to him. After I got off of Skype with Martyn last night, it was one of the only things that I could think of. It took forever for me to get my brain to shut off enough for me to be able to fall into a restless and often interrupted sleep.

I was dismayed this morning when I woke up to no text messages, and it also just made me that much more worried. I'd showered, gotten dressed and eaten very quickly. I was barely able to say 'goodbye' to my mum before I rushed out the door and got into the car. I was about to take off when my phone vibrated. I'd jumped, hoping it was a text from Dan.

It wasn't. It was Martyn.

Good talking to you last night, little bro. Don't let your new boy toy get in the way of school though!

This text made me realize how much I was overreacting and how clearly eager I was to see Dan again, which scared me. It's not like that with Dan! He and I are just friends! I don't have any of those kinds of feelings for him...Although, I have to admit, him confessing to me that he's not entirely straight is certainly something that I found interesting...

I don't understand what all this is. I've never spent days and nights constantly thinking about someone. I've never been so excited to see someone every day. I've never paid so much attention to every little detail of a person before. I've never wanted to be around someone so much. Great, just great. All of this for someone who isn't even guaranteed to be here through the school year.

I suddenly got a terrifying thought.

Dan said when I first met him that he moves around a lot, and that it could happen suddenly. Did his dad get transferred somewhere else suddenly? Did he have to leave? Is that why he wasn't at school yesterday? Was he too busy to respond to me because he was packing his things, getting ready to leave and go to some beautiful and exotic country better than Britain will ever be, never to be seen again?

Martyn's text message originally had made me want to calm down and not focus on Dan so much, but the thought of Dan possibly being gone made me speed off to the school as fast as I could get away with doing so. There's no way he would have left without at least calling me to say 'goodbye', right? We've reached the level of friendship where he would tell me if he were leaving. He would at least shoot me a text. Right?

Why does the idea of Dan leaving have me so worried? He's made it clear that Manchester isn't his forever home. So why am I trying so hard to hold on to him?

I got to the school, didn't pay attention to how terrible my parking was, and power-walked up to the school in a hurry. I didn't stop to find any of my other friends, I didn't pay attention to anyone else around me; I just went straight up to and in to the school and headed upstairs to where my and Dan's lockers are. I shoved past a ton of other students, raced up the stairs and headed to the hallway where my locker is.

With a sigh of relief, I saw Dan at his.

Which led to me immediately approaching him to ask him where he'd been yesterday.

"Did you not get my messages?" I also asked.

Dan blinks, "O-Oh," He stutters, looking flustered, "U-Um, s-sorry, I...It was my mum's birthday yesterday, so you know...just didn't feel like coming or...doing much of anything, really."