Undercover (Phan)

Chapter 21

Phil's POV

I walk through each store I visit with my mum today with a bounce in my step, so excited that the holiday season is upon us. I've always loved giving more then receiving, so I love Christmas shopping. I love thinking about how my loved ones will react to me giving them something they've always wanted. I've finished most of what I want to do; I'm just following my mum around at this rate as she gets the remaining things that she needs. I do keep an eye out for anything that I might want to get for anyone in particular.

Feeling boredom starting to creep up to me though, I find myself reaching for my phone. I pull it out and can't help but text Dan. I've been really worried about him lately, and hearing him say that he has no holiday plans absolutely broke my heart. So I text him because I don't want him to feel lonely.

Are you at least doing something on Christmas day?

We've reached the point in friendship where I can text him random things out of context and he won't think anything of it, which I take advantage of quite often.

I start fiddling around on my phone, going online to see if there are any good gift ideas I could find online for anyone, and mostly because I'm getting more and more bored by the minute. However, my phone soon vibrates in my hands as I receive a message. I break into a smile, unable to help myself, then I immediately go to my text messages.

No... Dan says.

My heart falls.

What? Why?

How is he not doing anything on Christmas? Does his family celebrate it? I'm sure I would know if his family was affiliated with some other holiday tradition or one that didn't celebrate Christmas.

My dad is working that day. I'll probably be with my grandparents though.

I have got to ask him what his dad does for a living.

At least you'll get to spend some time with family though :) what are you up to?

I then get an idea.

I go back to the page on my phone and continue to search the Internet for gift ideas - particularly something Dan would like.

Having a Harry Potter marathon, wallowing in my own self-loathing. The usual. He replies.

Normally I would laugh off the self-loathing comments and pass them off as jokes, but with how Dan is acting lately, I begin to worry about him even more. Although, that comment about the Harry Potter marathon gives me an idea for what to get him.

Are you okay? I ask him, despite my sudden excitement for gift ideas.

Yeah, the holidays are just kind of a hard time of year for me, you know?

I'm hesitant about asking him the question that's currently on my mind, but I think that he and I have opened up to each other about these things enough that I can ask him. I type:

Is this your first Christmas without your mum?

I wonder if maybe I shouldn't have asked him that, out of fear of triggering him in some way. While I'm waiting for him to answer, I get excited once again as I think I've just found the perfect gift for him. I select it and look at the description, and I think he'll love it. Or at least, I hope he will. I decide to purchase it. Just as I do, my phone vibrates once again as I have another text from Dan.

Yeah :/

My heart sinks at this, but I think I know the way to respond.

I know how you feel. It's my first Christmas without my dad too.