Stage Lights || H.S.

the best friend

"Pick up. Pick up. Pick up." I whispered at the phone in my hands.

It was hot in Los Angeles. My hair started to dry and get frizzy, and my stomach made unpleasant noises, basically growling at me. I stood outside the address I was sent to for about twenty minutes now and, knowing I was fifteen minutes late from the time I was supposed to get there, that meant that the shoot should've started thirty five minutes ago, but the door was locked, the parking lot empty and there was no sign of life near the place.

I tried calling Renee three times now, this was my fourth shot and I started to get frustrated. Until she finally picked up.

"Luna, I'm with your father at a--"

"Where the fuck is everyone?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm at the shoot but no one's here. For Elle."

"Oh honey, they moved it to the day after tomorrow." I scoffed.

"You're fucking with me, right?"

"I'm sorry honey, I'll send you a text with the new date and time."

I sighed. "Whatever."

"I really have to go now. I need to go back to--" I hung up before she could finish.

I was frustrated. I hadn't seen Renee or Will in weeks, I only got texts from my mother with the time and place I had to be at for shoots she had arranged for me. After coming back from Las Vegas and my fight with Harry, every little thing seemed to become a bigger deal for me.

My first breakdown was when we ran out of peanut butter the minute I really wanted it, then Will cancelled our sushi dinner, I hit my pinky toe on the corner of the wall, my phone charger broke, Amy ate my leftover Thai...

Are you busy? I quickly texted Amy. Can you pick me up?

I sat down at the steps tired and upset waiting for a response. After our fight over the leftover Thai food I wasn't expecting one. Downtown? Send me your location.

I did and sat there, and waited for Amy to come. In the empty parking lot with a Jesus Saves sign staring at me from the top of another parking garage, it almost judged me.

"Stupid sign." I mumbled looking away.

Maybe Jesus did save. Maybe I needed saving. No, not maybe, I did need saving. I tried to admit it to myself. The words from the articles about Harry and I played in my head over and over again. The harsh judgements that I tried to ignore, they were there for anyone to see it. I wasn't good enough for Harry Styles.

I was a bad girl, he was a good boy. I wasn't good enough for anybody and maybe that's why I was so happy with my lifestyle -waking up in different cities, in different hotel rooms, with different people, and then leaving- that way I could never get rejected, that way nobody knew things about me to make assumptions and decide if they liked me or not, that way I had control.

A honk pulled me back from my thoughts, I hadn't noticed Amy's small Nissan pulled up a couple feet away from me.

"Are you getting in or what? I'm starving." She shouted.

I slid into the passenger seat of her car. A familiar voice and melody played through the speakers and she rushed to turn it off. I didn't know what to feel. Angry? Sad? Regretful? I just knew that I missed him.

"Why did you turn it off?"

"You know, Luna. It's no secret that you've been a wreck since you came back from your runaway to Las Vegas with Harry." She let out a sigh, pulling her car out of the parking lot. "I don't want to upset you."

"I--" She glanced over at me as the car stopped in the red light. "I'm sorry."

"Look, I don't know what happened, but I haven't seen you like this in years. It's like... You let all your walls down. You look vulnerable. I heard you crying in the shower."

"I'm sorry."

"Luna." Her eyes ran from me to the traffic in front of us. "What's wrong?"

"It's just... Have you seen them? The pictures." She nodded.

"Not gonna lie..." Amy laughed. "I didn't think it was you at first. I just couldn't believe it. My best friend kissing Harry Styles."

I couldn't help but smile. Every moment with Harry was easily some of the best moments in my life. His accent and how he touched me in the right places at the right time, his smirk and his raspy funny laugh, his perfectly soft hair and impeccable almost weird sense of style. Every kiss was the best kiss and waking up next to him made me wish I never had to wake up alone again. Thinking of him made me wonder and imagine the weirdest things, things I had never thought of before, about anyone.

"He has this reputation to keep and mine is not very good, or... Well, good enough for him."

"Luna--"

"Don't tell me the things that I already know, Amy. I did this to myself. I like this. This is my life. I'm fine with it. I'm the Hollywood sweetheart gone wild." I took a deep breath. "I'm the worst best friend to you, I'm the kid my parents wish they didn't have, I do drugs and I have sex, and I travel and party and--"

"Why are you so upset, then?" She laughed shaking her head. "You know what the problem is? All this time you've been running away from your problems and your feelings, but I can see right through you, Luna. You let your guard down for him and now you're hurt, and it's okay. Stop beating yourself for it."

"But I--"

"It's life, Luna. Life. The thing you've been running from. This is how life works. Shit happens."

"I just never... I thought... He was different."

"Did you let him explain himself?" Amy asked. "Or did you explode and run way like you always do when things don't go your way?"

"You know me too well, Amy."