16. WHEN LUCIFER FELL, HE DID NOT FALL ALONE

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Why is it that I consider myself more human than my own blood, my own clan? Is it because their passion has caused more chaos or because I refuse to see the damage I have done? Maybe I am more monstrous than they are, more futile towards the destruction of the body but completely surrendering my soul to the worldly pleasures. And they took it...they took it away. The one thing that was mine to live with and the one thing that was suppose to die with me.

 The one thing that was mine to live with and the one thing that was suppose to die with me

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"When Lucifer fell...he did not fall alone." I say out loud as I stare at the picture of Jasper's lifeless body.

They all were in on this, not one, not two but everyone. Why would they hide it from me if it was an accident?
Why would they tell me they couldn't find his body?
Why was everyone so oblivious to the question of what were we doing in Switzerland?
They didn't keep any lose ends, but when it came to Jasper's death all they ever gave me is vague answers. I pick up the map lying next to the pictures and take a hard look at it. There are no marked areas or anything out of the ordinary. It is just a simple state map. All of this is too confusing, I don't know whether to shout or just kill someone to end the misery.

 All of this is too confusing, I don't know whether to shout or just kill someone to end the misery

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I take a sip of vodka as I lean against the wall. I need to get away from everything and everyone, I cannot take the secrecy anymore neither can I stand being this broken any longer. I take a deep breath as I wipe the corner of my eyes. I hate it; every second that I don't know what I'm supposed to do without him is every second I'm being pulled closer to the darkness of my heart.

The door bell rings, once...twice...thrice. I stand up with great efforts steadying myself as I trip spilling the vodka from my coffee mug. I fumble with the door knob as I struggle to open the door but miserably fail.

"Jade..." I heard Simone after a minute.

"It won't open." I slurred.

He murmured something inaudible on the other side of the door then yelled "Stand back, I'm opening it with my spare keys."

I'm too late to take a step back as I'm pushed tumbling and then falling flat on the floor. Simone is standing on the doorway with Roy; they both give me puzzled look.

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