We end up running into Xander and the rest of the guys as we were leaving the bridal store. It all seemed so carefully thought out, like Xander and Sofia planned this to happen and they planned to force us all go to lunch at a Mexican restaurant nearby.
It was refreshing to see Luke, Jack, and Ben in the pack, for purposes of not being the odd ball out like I commonly was. Seeing Ashton and getting the silent treatment from him, made me feel as if I had gotten punched in the stomach a hundred times.
Stephen and Brandon sit closest to Xander, they were his best friends from high school. And let me just say, the two are proof that some people just looked absolutely terrible after high school.
I recognized the last groomsmen to be Rusty, yes, our dad's assistant was standing in Xander's wedding. This guy beat me out in being anxious; he was visibly sweating and his eyes cautiously darted around. Glad someone was worse than I was, sadly.
I sat between Luke and Jack. My goal was to sit furthest away from Ashton, but Ashton took the seat directly across from me. I felt his eyes on me as I scanned the menu for drinks. Something about being in the presence of Ashton today had me feel a mixture of anxiety and calmness at once. It was nice to know he was alive, but why was he avoiding me? I had no control over the negative thoughts voicing their opinions in my mind.
I nearly thought this was a joke that Xander was pulling, but I should've seen this coming from a mile away. Ashton and Xander were close, in some cases too close for my liking. It should be a known fact to me that Xander would have Ashton as a groomsmen. It was surprising that Ashton didn't beat Jack for the spot as the best man.
"Excuse me for a minute." Removing myself from a situation where I wanted to call someone out on something so bad was the best thing for me to do. I hunched over the sink in the ladies bathroom, taking deep breaths when I felt my pulse speeding up.
This lunch was not a mandatory thing. I could leave and catch a flight back to New York right now if I wanted to, but then I'd disappoint my brother and I could not live knowing I disappointed him by taking the easy way out as usual.
I looked at myself in the mirror, ready to give myself a pep talk, but right when I opened my mouth someone walked in. I took one deep breath, giving myself a nod in the mirror and starting back to the table.
Everyone had gotten their drinks, even me. I didn't order this. "You left so I ordered your favorite, lemonade." Ashton smiled proudly and Xander grinned to himself at the cute gesture. Xander probably didn't have a clue what was going on if he was getting giddy at the random act of kindness.
Ashton was in a battle of avoiding me and still being nice to me, it was driving me to the edge and I wouldn't step on the breaks once my fall was close enough.
Jack sensed my uneasiness and began to converse with me about all of the things they had bought for the babies. He also cleared up that Ana was having a boy and a girl. They had a few names picked out, but weren't sure if they wanted rhyming names or unique names that would drive the elderly crazy at how bizarre the names were. I told them it was their choice and their children would be happy with whatever names they got.
"Luke, can you help me with something in the bathroom?"
I caught myself chuckling at Ashton's choice of wording that.
The urge to confront Ashton was growing by the second. I just wanted an answer and I think the only way to get that would be to have him surrounded so he couldn't escape while asked.
The pair came back as quickly as they disappeared, Ashton confidently walking and Luke looking flushed of any color he had before Ashton talked to him. I wondered what he could've told Luke. It was hard for the pale boy to lose much color to begin with, so it had to be something big.
"Ashton." I stirred the liquid in my glass with a straw. "How's Sarah?"
A devious smirk painted on my lips. With every squirm Ashton made, I grew more and more confident. Sick, wasn't it? I'd never felt beyond powerful.
"Xander, sorry to make this quick, but I've got a sudden case of the runs." Ashton feigned wiping sweat from his forehead. "I'm gonna head to the hotel and rest." I never thought Ashton could make me so infuriated with him. He left the restaurant and I grabbed my purse, following behind.
"Ashton!" I jogged after the tall figure. The sidewalks here weren't nearly as packed, so I didn't have to worry about weaving in and out of people to get to Ashton.
I grabbed his wrist and tugged him to face me. We both stopped once our eyes locked and I didn't care if we had pissed off the people using the sidewalk, like actually using it. I only cared about answers.
"What the hell is going on?" I still held his wrist, careful not to squeeze too tight. My other hand was resting on my hip, this was my attempt to look intimidating and I knew it wasn't working. I wasn't even scared of myself.
Ashton kindly stepped aside to let someone pass, "I don't know what you're talking about."
I groaned and rolled my eyes, throwing his wrist in the process.
"Then whatever," I ran my palm against my forehead. "If you're going to be like this, then I'm done with us." No, I didn't mean that. Fuck, it just sounded nice to say in the moment. I didn't mean what I said, but I still walked away, not stopping when he repeatedly called my name.
I looked across the street and the same group of paparazzi were there, sure to be capturing what just happened. I'd have to stay away from the internet for a month, until the media let this go.
My stomach dropped when I recalled his reaction to being asked about Sarah. I guess all of this was because of Sarah. As frustrating as this was to admit, I knew Sarah wasn't going to just disappear and leave Ashton alone. I knew Sarah was going to be this huge burden on my relationship with Ashton. She came back as soon as I forgot about her, almost as she knew you were forgetting her, and she made it known that she was still there.
If Sarah was the reason for this, then Ashton and I had no future as long as Sarah was still involved in his life.
This could be solved with one simple phone call that would change Sarah's fate forever, but it wasn't my place to do that after Ashton confided in me that night in January, dropping that huge bomb on me like we knew each other longer than a day. For an odd reason he trusted me and I couldn't break that trust, not even out of anger.
For now, I'd keep my distance until one of us came to our senses.
