Camp Where The Hell Are We? | ✓

13

Marley ended up sitting on the porch swing she saw on the first day.

By 7:30 pm, the girls' cabin was deserted. Apart from some stragglers hanging out inside, it was quiet, and she assumed they were all either at dinner or the party.

The girls came back shortly after Marley had decided to stop obsessively thinking about the 'q-tip' group photos, and they had spent a long time hanging out and getting ready for this get-together at the guys' cabin. Gabby didn't end up going either, in favour of getting some extra sleep. She was as tired as Marley.

But Marley wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, so to give Gabby privacy she grabbed her blanket and transferred herself outside. The bugs weren't bad at all, preferring the dense forest beyond the clearing like they usually did. All of the blackout curtains were drawn on the windows so the cabin's indoor lights wouldn't attract them.

The bright interior was a stark contrast to the darkness outside. But even in the limited view she got, she could see the swinging bench looked worse for wear with rusty chains, the red paint chipping on the ends. But there was a beautiful, canvas blue cushion to sit on, and after testing it out, she decided it was comfortable. She brought her book, her phone, and her headphones but her book proved to be useless in the dark. At least there was a pleasant view, a crescent moon and patterns of stars here that couldn't be seen back in her busier city home.

Marley snuggled into her seat, plugging her headphones in and settling on 'All of the Stars' by Ed Sheeran, believing it to be a suitable title.

"It's just another night
And I'm staring at the moon
I saw a shooting star
And thought of you
I sang a lullaby
By the waterside and knew
If you were here,
I'd sing to you."

Marley stared up at the patterns of twinkling stars above her. She thought about her broken family, her father, Jacobi, and her mother.

At least we are under the same sky, you and I.

She had that quote saved on her phone somewhere, finding it on Tumblr and enjoying the meaning behind it. How personal it felt for her.

She curled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them and trying to control the grief that never faded away. They left her. She wasn't enough for them to stay.

"As the skyline splits in two
I'm miles away from seeing you
I can see the stars
From America
I wonder, do you see them, too?"

Maybe this song was a mistake. It hit too close to home. During the day, she can preoccupy herself with school and Gabby and her clubs and piles of homework, but at night, when it's quiet and dark; and especially now, staring up at a part of the large universe, she felt smaller and lonelier than ever.

Do they see them too? Where are they? What are they doing, right now? Do they ever think of her, of the child they left behind? Was Marley doomed to spend the rest of her life an orbiting planet, lacking all purpose and reason?

"So open your eyes and see
The way our horizons meet
And all of the lights will lead
Into the night with me
And I know these scars will bleed
But both of our hearts believe
All of these stars will guide us home."

Marley wasn't crying. Drops of water were spilling down her cheeks, but she didn't make a sound. Her breathing didn't hitch, and her hands didn't shake. She wasn't crying.

Because Marley is so goddamn tired of crying.

"I can hear your heart
On the radio beat
They're playing 'Chasing Cars'
And I thought of us
Back t-"