BadGirl?

63. Hatred & Hospitals.

I woke up like every other day, putting my make up on lightly and getting dressed in the same way I had for the last six weeks. It was a Wednesday and I had no idea what the day had installed for me.

Arriving ten minutes earlier like every other day I came to school, I signed into the front office and exchanged my books just before the bell went telling me I had to go to class now.

Sitting in my normal seat in maths I kept my head down pretending to read a book. I looked up as I heard the teacher walk in.

No.

No. Shit.

No.

"Good morning, I'll be your substitute for today," Toby smiled at the front of the class room and I gulped.

"Lets start with the roll," he begun to call off names.

Pulling out my phone.

I've got a sub, and it's Toby, what if he asks to take off my hoodie?!?

"Miss please put away your phone," I looked up and inwardly flinched, "I'll also have to ask you to take off the hoodie."

Did I just fucking jinx myself or what?!

I looked down as my phone vibrated in my hand.

Log-an

You can either take it off and show everyone who you are, not take it off, make more of a scene and have kids trying to take it off in the hallways. Or just jump out the window.

I have waited six weeks... guess it's time to set my plan in motion.

Sighing, pushing it back wincing at the gasp I got from the class and the look on Toby's face, "Jackie?"

"Yeah... hi," I waved slightly.

"How long have you been in Jai?" he asked.

I looked downwards.. Should I lie?

"For the whole term."

I froze, I didn't say that looking behind me I flinched at the heated glare Jesse was giving me from the back of the room. I felt my face begin to heat up and I did one of the things I'd thought I'd never do again.

I grabbed my stuff and legged it, my chest felt like it was tightening and I had a hard time breathing, that hurt.

"Jackie, lets get you to the nurse," Hannah spotted me as I ran aimlessly down a corridor.

"Hannah- I wasn't ready- I wasn't prepared- I can't- It just hurts," I started gasping for air.

Clawing at my chest I felt tears trickle down my cheeks, my throat closed up and I began to cough, "Jackie! Calm down. Your having a panic attack."

I felt the thumping of my heart in my ears, "It hurts."

"What happened?"

"Take her to the nurses room, now Toby," I heard Hannah order and I was lifted up and carried.

"Can you look over my class?" Toby called.

"Just go," Hannah yelled back and Toby started to jog down the halls.

And all during the the attack his face kept flashing through my head, hate, disappointment, anger, pain, all directed at me.

**

"Do you want to go to class? Or would you rather just sit in here until lunch?" the nurse asked me.

"Can I just, take a breather, maybe go outside?" I questioned letting out a shaky breath.