An Arranged Marriage

Part 35

Sam's eyes were rimmed with red, the brilliant hazel that made you smile were dull and full of pain. His shoulders were hunched, as if the entire world sat upon them. Which was often the case. His steps were slow, forcing himself to move closer to you when he no doubt wanted to run the other way. He looked defeated, and in your heart you had a feeling why.

Cas didn't look much better. His blue eyes were turned downward, not wanting to face the hope that had started to slip from your face. His trench coat was ripped, his hands shoved deep into it's pockets.

Their boots squeaked on the old linoleum floor, the waitress quickly stepping back out of their way. The french fry turned to dust in your mouth as you felt the burn of tears behind your eyes. "Dean," you breathed out as Sam slumped down into the seat beside you. Cas stayed standing, no doubt trying to block prying eyes from the tearful exchange about to happen.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Sam spoke up, his voice thick with grief. "There's no easy way to say this."

"So just get it over with," you insisted, your hands clenched tightly together underneath the table. Ignoring the pain as your fingernails dug into your skin.

"We were able to trap Lucifer in the cage once again," Sam spoke quickly, a tear slipping down his cheek. "But Dean, he....he was too close...," he stumbled through the words. "He was pulled in with Lucifer."

It wasn't exactly what you had expected. It was worse. You could have handled Dean's death. Knowing that he had gone to his grave protecting those he loved. But now? Knowing that he was trapped in the cage with Lucifer? That was the worse news you could have imagined. "That's can't be...," you argued, tears slipping down your cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," Sam repeated again. "But Dean...he would want it this way. Knowing that you're safe, because of him..."

"It doesn't make it right!" You exclaimed. The air in the small diner was warm and closing in around you. Trying to breath, you stood up, pushing past Cas. You could hear Sam calling out your name, but you didn't care. You needed to be outside, in the fresh air. Away from the men who had turned your world upside down. Once again. You knew it wasn't Sam and Cas' fault, but your emotions were quickly taking over.

Rounding the building, you slid down to the ground in the alleyway, ignoring the stains on the concrete around you. Warm tears slid down your cheeks, your heart tight, feeling like it could shatter at any moment. Wondering if it already had.

As the tears fell, you thought about how much your life had changed. Gone was that shy little girl who had found herself marrying one of the most handsome men she had ever seen. In her place you had blossomed, brought on by the love of Dean. He had been everything you had never realized you had needed. Giving you a chance at a true life outside of the community confines. Even with the threats from Lucifer, your life had been rich. But with him gone, you weren't sure what to do.

Suddenly you felt a pair of rough hands reaching down and gently pulling you up until you were pressed against a sturdy chest. The rough tan material of Cas' trench coat under your cheek as he held you tight. "Cas, can't you bring him back?" You whispered, clenching tight to the excess fabric.

"I can't," he answered. "I would do it instantly if I could."

Your heartache turned to anger, and you glared up at him, pounding his chest with your fists. He stood there, his blue eyes full of sadness as he let you beat him. "You brought Dean back before!! Why can't you bring him back again!! Please Cas, I need you to bring Dean back," you pleaded over and over again, your tears falling heavily. "I can't do this without him."

Once your tirade was over, and you were completely worn out, Cas held you tight against him once again, his grace smoothing over you, calming you down. "Y/N, when I saved Dean the first time, I had an entire garrison of Angels to help me. And even then it wasn't going into the cage. Look what happened when I brought Sam out of the cage. I lost his soul. I can't do that to Dean."

"So you'll just leave him down there to get tormented. While up here he has me. And...," you started to say, your hand drifting down to your belly, and the life growing there.

Cas grabbed your shoulders, lifting your gaze to meet his, and that's when you finally noticed Sam standing behind him. "Of course we're not going to leave him down there. Sam and I are going to do everything we can to bring him back. We all want him up here."

"Y/N, Dean needs to back with us. He needs the chance to raise a family with you. And Cas and I aren't going to stop until we've figured something out."

Sniffling, you moved away from Cas, wrapping your arm around Sam's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know how hard this has to be for you too. This just isn't how I expected this to go down."

"We're all hurting," he agreed. "But we need to stick together."

Letting Sam guide you back around the diner, it was easy to spot the Impala. And that's when it finally all clicked. That Dean wouldn't be sitting in the driver's seat, waiting for you to climb in. That he wouldn't be snuggling you on that memory foam mattress in the bunker. Your hand resting on your belly, your heart shattered at the fact that Dean wouldn't be around to watch your belly swell, to feel your baby kicking. He was truly gone.

Your knees buckled, and if it wasn't for Cas, you would have fallen on the hard concrete. Picking you up in his arms, he pressed his fingers against your temple. "Rest," he ordered, before a calming black nothingness took over.