Dark Corner // Harry Styles

Chapter 19 Revealed Feelings

Harry had been send to his special project, they would postpone the concert and add those to the end of their tour. People were going mad about this. But I felt like I was going madder then anybody else.
Every time the phone rang I hoped it was Harry, I hoped he had found a way to call someone. I couldn't imagine why he would call me, out of all people he knew. He would call his mother or his dad, or sister, bandmates. not the girl that was there when he woke up. the girl that forgave him so easily.
Samantha didn't seem affected by the fact he was in the special project. our tour just continued and I lost contact with the other people of the tour besides Niall and Luke. I wouldn't dare to lose contact with them.
it's been one week since Harry had been send to the project and he would be released today. if everything went well. the whole week I had been isolated again, Luke and Niall were the only people I talked too. I didn't go outside, I only went to my box and after the concert I left for my room.
I didn't go on any social media site, watch Tv or listened to the radio. I picked up a book and read until I got a text from Luke or Niall, or when I got called. Alex had been send home after he recovered. I had said a brief goodbye because he had been taken away really fast.
I informed him about Harry and he told me I should take good care of Harry. although I couldn't. Harry was too far out of my reach. he had been send to Germany where this project was. We would have two days off, and usually I would spend them at the hotel reading a book.
but right now I was making my way to the airport. there were so many people there I felt insecure again. I shook the insecurity off of me and stepped out of my car.
I held my head down as I made my way through the pack of people. I could only hope Harry was alright. I wondered if Samantha was already there. I hadn't seen her all day.
I went to check in and a few people asked me for my autograph and picture. I can't imagine anyone who wanted to have a picture with me.
and in two hours I was on my plane to Germany. and after a boring five hour flight, I had landed. I had called a taxi and was waiting for my taxi.
"Oh my Gosh. you're Scarlett Greenwoods." I looked up, a little girl with brown pigtails ran towards me. I smiled at her.
"hello." I bend to her level. She was smiling and I saw she was missing one of her teeth. "hi." she smiled bigger.
"you're amazing Scarlett, you're my hero you show people that you don't have to hide yourself." she hugged my leg. I ended up giving her my autograph and her mother had taken a picture of us together.
love, you don't need an hero, because you can inspire yourself to do great things. and if I helped you reach them, I'm proud that I could be that person to you.
I had written a little message for the little girl and then she ran away to her mother screaming happily. and just on time the taxi arrived. I stepped in and then I felt the nervousness rise again.
what if he doens't want to see me? what if he thought asking for forgiveness was a mistake? I started to bounce my leg up and down. and before I knew it we had arrived at the white building.
I paid the driver and then stepped out, nervously. I fumbled with my jacket, hoping I looked presentable. I walked inside and this older lady told me I had to go to the lounge. I saw his mother, and his sister.
His mother looked at me with her big eyes, and also her sister turned around. but I stood frozen in the door opening. I wasn't sure why I felt like this. but It was the worst pain I have ever experienced.
Samantha laid in Harry's arms and he was stroking her hair. now Harry looked up, his green eyes looking into my eyes. I felt pain in my chest and before I knew it I had turned around and ran out of the building.
I was crying, sobbing, I felt pain all over. it was an aching pain that I couldn't take away. I clutched my chest, but it didn't work. more tears welled up. I knew what had happened. I had hope.
I had hope he could be interested in me, that he could like me, in more then a friend way. I didn't even know why? I liked him, maybe I even loved him.
the conversations I had with him, while he thought he was talking with Samantha. I liked him, I was heart broken. I never thought I liked him like this until this very moment.
I stood up, still crying and started walking away from the horrible place. I felt horrible. I walked down the street. I needed to get some distraction. I walked inside a store and bought four packages of sweets and bought an horrible tasting coffee.
after everything was finished I didn't feel better. I felt worse, the pain didn't leave my chest and it seemed like it wouldn't leave. I couldn't really describe the pain. it was like I was dying inisde, I was begging for something to happen.
I bought the first ticket back to America and slept an hour before my flight was called. I stood up, my face must look like a mess. I felt like sleeping the whole day, screaming, hitting someone. I didn't know what I felt.
That I believed Harry could see something in me. What a joke! I need distraction. that he could like me! he told it me himself. I was disgusting.
I slept the whole fight. and when I woke up I had a headache. I held my hand to my head and groaned. I got up and left the plane. I only had a carry-on because I hadn't planned on staying.
I got back to the hotel and I saw it was four in the moring. I fell on my bed and screamed. I screamed, tears starting to stream down my cheeks again. I cried the whole night, not being able to go to bed again.
I woke up by someone knocking on my door. I carried myself to the door, I ripped the door open and a smiling Samanatha was on the other side.
"Harry and I made up, we're back together again." she squealed hugging me. I felt worse again. but I knew I would never be better then Samantha. everybody in their right mind would choose Samantha over me.
"great." but to me it didn't sound great, it didn't sound horrible either. it sounded heart breaking. but the damage had already been done.
"now, Harry and I have a date tomorrow night, he can walk again. Luckily I wouldn't date someone who's cripple."she scrunched her nose up. "so you need to have your head-set on by six."
"I won't help you." I couldn't, I couldn't go out and talk with him. I would burst out crying, I could never get over what ever this had been. I wasn't even sure if I liked him, all I knew was that he broke my heart accidentally
it wasn't his fault. It was my own stupid fault. I exposed myself enough so he could break my heart. he didn't do a thing.
"what? don't be silly, you always help me. six understood." I shook my head as her eyes bored holes in mine.
"I won't do it, you can tell me I need to be ready at six, but I won't do a thing." I said. this made Samantha angry, really angry. she opened her mouth to say something but she closed it in the end. she turned on her heel and then angrily walked outside.
why did people have to be angry? why do they have pain? life is unfair. I wonder why life is unfair, why do we live if life's full of hatred, pain and heartbreak.
I decided I shouldn't stay in my room all day and be sulking. I got dressed and I went to the kitchen and got breakfast.
I called Niall and we talked on the phone, he told me they would continue tour as fast as possible and that he would be seeing me again. which was exciting. but I couldn't help but feel sad.
I called Alex, and I told him about Harry, that he was fine and that he shouldn't worry. I told him I was alright, because beside the heartache, I was alright. but that was a lie. I felt like I was drowning but I was still breathing.
I called Luke. Luke was the hardest to convince I was fine, he didn't believe me. he told me I sounded sad and that he could hear at my voice I had been crying. I denied it, I denied everything.
I had to keep my feelings to myself and couldn't tell anyone. they would just laugh at me and think I was stupid. because I was indeed stupid.
at six I felt worse. I knew Harry was on a date with Samantha right now. I knew Harry loved her, he said it enough times. I was sitting alone in my room. I sat on bed, crying silently, I hugged my knees to my chest and felt horrible.
I couldn't bare it anymore so half past six I grabbed the head-set. I didn't say a thing. I just listen. "and then she was being so mean to me, only disgusting. and I flicked her off, after I left the room she came back to me running like a lost puppy. pathetic." Samantha said in disgust.
"don't talk about Scarlett like that." why was he protecting me? I wasn't there, I couldn't be hurt.
"hello, I'm your girlfriend, you should be on my side." she seemed angry. she started talking again. things I had done wrong, but Harry cut her off everytime. so in the end she finally gave up and started talking about herself.
"stop." Harry said frustrated. "stop talking about yourself please." I felt sorry for him, even I was getting mad about how much she talked about herself.
"why would you say that, you love me, you should love to hear me talking about myself." she said like it was obvious.
"seriously Sam? you told it me yourself a long time ago, I don't need to know what you like about yourself best etc." he said. "I'm sorry Sam."
I heard her sigh in frustration. "I think I had a drink to much, I'm sorry Harry, I'm not myself today." but it wasn't true. the truth was her not talking like me.
"we should go home and then leave it at that." Harry said, and I smiled at the sound of his voice. he had this low voice, and really slow. but when he was rambling or telling a joke it would speed up.
I quickly ripped the head-set off of my head. I should avoid Harry, and try and stay out of his way. I shouldn't let myself get any closer to him.
"he could never love someone like me."