Jared can be very convincing when he wants something, and instead of focusing on my concerns about my job, I boarded a plane with him and flew out the next morning. You only live once, right?
It was nice to have some alone time and I was definitely loving this calm, relaxed version of Jared. We checked into the hotel and then spent the day shopping, both of us trying on clothes and modeling them for each other. When I exited the changing room wearing the final dress I was thinking of buying, I watched his lips curve into a slight smile. His expression revealed that he was enjoying his thoughts as he eyed me up and down. "What do you think, should I get this one?"
He linked his fingers with mine and pulled me closer, sliding his hand along my bare leg, all the way to where it met the slinky fabric. "Only if you promise to wear it for me before you wear it for Shannon."
Granting him a smile, I leaned down to kiss his lips. "Of course!" No matter how many times both of them told me that they weren't jealous of the other, I knew it wasn't true. You cannot possibly be in an open relationship without having some kind of resentment toward each other. I accepted that I was in love with both of them, but I couldn't ignore my concerns about where this was headed.
I changed back into my clothes and our little shopping trip came to an end. We went back to the hotel to drop off our purchases and to relax for a while before dinner.
Around eight, he took me to his favorite spot for a romantic dinner, at a very nice and expensive restaurant. We had been out many times before, but just being seen with him these days made me a little uncomfortable. He didn't hold my hand, or put his arm around me. I walked behind him, but it was obvious we were together, and when the bright flashes went off in my face as we were leaving, I chewed the inside of my cheek so hard I could taste blood.
We ran into some of Jared's acquaintances and when he introduced me as a friend, it was like a punch to the gut. I understood it was part of our agreement, but I didn't realize how hearing him say it aloud would hurt me. Staring down at the ground, I smiled and played the part well, but grew silent and quickly faded into the background. They continued to chat about what was happening in their lives and as I shifted in my heels, they finally parted ways.
Upon returning to the suite, I kicked my shoes off and started the water for a hot bath. Jared plopped on the couch, stepping out of his shoes and getting comfortable. He began endlessly scrolling through his phone while I poured myself a glass of wine. I closed the door and sat on the edge of the tub, pouring a capful of the lavender scented bubble bath under the stream. Pulling my long hair up, I stripped down.
Sliding into the hot water, I blocked out everything. My tense muscles quickly began to loosen and after cleaning myself up, I lay all the way back. Sipping on the delicious red wine, everything became completely silent and I was lost in thought. Eventually, the hot water became cool and I climbed out, slipping my pj's on and sliding into bed next to Jared.
He was already in bed asleep, and as I stared at his handsome face, I couldn't help but wonder how this beautiful and amazing fantasy the three of us were living would come to a catastrophic end one day. Certainly it couldn't go on forever and I was terrified of having my heart broken when it did.
Why did I allow this shit to keep me up at night? I've always been like this, focusing on the what if's in life, never able to just be happy and live in the now, a curse passed down from my mother to me. My sister certainly didn't have this problem, so why did I?
When I realized sleep wasn't going to happen, I got up and pulled the heavy robe on. Walking over to the window, I gazed out at how gorgeous the city was all lit up at night. It wasn't like I hadn't been to New York before, but this view was amazing. "Babe, what are you doing?" I heard him get up and wrap a blanket around himself as he moved closer.
"Just couldn't sleep."
"Anything I can do to help? Insomnia is a bitch, I know." I remembered that he had issues sleeping in the past. I shrugged, thinking for sure that his suggestion would be sexual, not that I was complaining, but my mind was on other things.
"How about we get dressed and go get some ice cream or hot chocolate? Something sweet always helps me relax and sleep."
"Now?" I looked at the alarm clock to discover that it was almost midnight and then back at him.
"Yeah, why not?" He said with a sweet grin. "That's one of the perks of being an adult Carrie. Come on, I've always been a fan of breaking the rules."
I bet he was quite the little when he was younger and couldn't stop grinning as I got dressed. He was all smiles as we exited the hotel room in search of something sweet.
Even at three in the morning the streets bustled with people all over the place. We found only one place nearby that was open all night. The young woman behind the counter seemed oblivious to who he was and I began to relax a bit as I ate my strawberry ice cream.
We sat alone in the shop, my mind kicking into overdrive. Jared kicked my foot to draw my attention. "Are you having a good time with me?" He smiled as he ate the chocolate ice cream from his plastic spoon.
"Of course I am."
"Look, we have all week, maybe we can go sightseeing in the morning if you want? I have something nice planned for us in the evening." He assured, holding out his spoon for me to take a bit of his half eaten ice cream.
"Sounds great." I ate from his spoon and gave him a taste of mine.
Taking a small bite, he narrowed his eyes. "What's wrong, Carrie, and don't you dare say nothing because I know better."
I picked at my ice cream and leaned back in my chair. "What if people see us together? I mean, you introduced me to your friends as just a friend." I used my fingers to make quotation marks and he crinkled his nose at me.
Leaning closer, he rested his elbows on the table. "I don't care if we're seen walking together. I don't care if you're seen walking with Shannon. What I do care about, is hand holding, kissing, or any kind of affection in public. Walking next to each other, I do with my own mother. Will they think I'm dating her too? Don't waste your time worrying about any of that shit. I'll handle it, okay?"
He had a point, but it still felt awkward to be referred to as a friend. I couldn't possibly eat anymore of the ice cream and got up to toss both containers and spoons into the trash can. When I returned, he pulled the shades over his eyes.
"Want to talk about anything else?"
I stared at him, studying his expression before I brought it up. Trying to judge his reaction before I said it, I knew he would tell me not to worry about it. "I've been thinking about how all of this will end. You know, between the three of us."
His face softened and he tilted his head, "Babe, you know I can't respond the way I want to because we are in public, but I don't want you to worry about this. Shannon will tell you the exact same thing. As long as the three of us are on the same page, this won't be an issue."
It didn't matter what he or Shannon said, a three person relationship would never last forever. I tried to put it to the back of my mind so that we could enjoy our alone time before Shannon arrived.
"Ready?" He stood up and pushed the chair back under the table. I followed him back to the hotel, making small talk along the way. Entering the lobby of our hotel, there were people coming and going. We walked past them all and stepped into the dimly lit elevator. Jared stood across from me, shoving his hands into his pockets as he leaned on the wall behind him. Riding all the way up to the tenth floor, the doors opened and I followed him down to our room.
"May I ask you for a favor." I asked, grinning sweetly and batting my eyelashes.
"Mm-hm." He growled, pulling his jacket off. I knew what he thought I was going to ask for, but he was wrong. "Anything for you my love."
"Will you sing me a song?"
