that boy | hwang hyunjin | ✔

Chapter 38

After a little walk, I finally reach my house. It's cold outside, to a point where a scarf and thin gloves don't offer much protection anymore. My fingertips are frozen, making it harder to push the key inside its lock. 

Part of me is happy to be home again. Another part of me isn't. First, because I could've stayed inside that tiny restaurant with Hyunjin much longer. Secondly, I have no idea what's awaiting me as soon as I enter.

Let's hope it's not enough to take away the little rays of happiness.

As I enter the hallway, I am greeted by a loud voice that obviously doesn't belong to someone present inside the house. It's a deep male voice, blasting from the tv so loudly that it's audible through the walls separating the living room from the entrance hallway.

Usually, the fact that my mom is lamely watching dramas again would bother me, but not this time. Maybe, just maybe, I can sneak to my room without having to face her first.

I quickly slip off my shoes and put my scarf and gloves away in a drawer before I enter the passage between the kitchen, living room and the stairs on my tiptoes, careful not to make a sound.

But then the deep voice pauses.

"Chaelin?" my mom's idle voice sounds from the living room. Not long after, she appears around the corner in her pajama's, her hair a mess. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out," I shrug, refusing to look at the sorry state she's in.

"Out where?" she demands, placing her hands on her hips.

"I went for dinner with a friend," I explain, the happy feeling I had already replacing itself with dreading tiredness.

My mom narrows her eyes at my comment, her brown eyes eyeing me suspiciously.

"It wasn't a boy, was it?"

"No, of course not," I lie.

It's scary how easy it has become for me to lie to my mom. It shouldn't be like that, it's not healthy. But I feel like I have no other choice. Sometimes, the truth holds too many dangers to be told.

I don't want to find out what happens when my mom finds out I went for dinner with a boy.

"Then it's good," my mom shrugs after a moment of silence. "Didn't have anything to eat for you, anyway."

Either she doesn't see the hurt expression on my face or she delicately ignores it as she turns around and disappears into the living room again. Not long after, the deep voice from the tv resumes and I'm left alone again.

Fighting back the tears that threaten to leave my eyes, I turn around and drag my feet upstairs to my room. I throw my bag into a corner and without even bothering to turn on the lights, I let myself fall onto my bed.

Does it hurt?

Yes. Of course, it does. My mom just literally told me that she didn't even bother to prepare dinner for me. If I didn't go out with Hyunjin, I would've come home to an empty dinner table with nothing to eat. Such a warm welcome, such a devoted mother.

Does it last long?

No. This isn't the first time it happens and even though it shouldn't have come this far, I'm used to it. Of course, it stings when your mom states that she has nothing for you so casually, almost like she's talking about something insignificant such as the weather or something.

Tonight is slightly different, though. My mom might have ruined a good bit of it but I only have to think back to a little while earlier. The delicious sweet pancakes, the fun and pleasant atmosphere between me and Hyunjin.

Just thinking about tonight is enough to bring back more pleasant feelings. The depressed feelings my mom caused slowly dissolve and I slowly stretch my arm to turn on the light on my nightstand. With a soft click, its dim light fills the room and I close my eyes in contentment.

I should thank Hyunjin when I see him again, for lifting my spirits this much even my mom can't bring them down anymore. Not even Felix always manages to do so. I must give him credits for that.

A soft chuckle leaves my mouth as I realize what I'm thinking. How just thinking about that boy is enough to make my feel better, it's hilarious when you go back in time just a little bit and see how I'm turning him down time after time. I never would've thought that we would come to a point where his presence would cause something good.

Somewhere deep down inside my mind, in the dark caves that never see the light of day, the alarm bells are echoing in the distance. Weak voices telling me how stupid I'm being, how I should drop him immediately before it's too late.

But when is it too late?

Isn't it already?

I feel like hurting him would cause equal pain to me by now. I'm not playing that stupid game anymore. Maybe it truly has gotten out of hand, but I let it. I did nothing to stop it so it was my own choice.

He's the first boy ever to come this close to me -apart from Felix- and the first one to become a true friend. That might be more special than being the first man on the moon. The moon never attempted to push away anything that got too close for its liking because naturally, the moon has no liking.

What is so special about landing on it, anyway?

I softly giggle at my own random thoughts, a habit I unconsciously took from Hyunjin. I never giggled before I met him.

What is happening?

Is this normal?

I turn around in bed, nuzzling my face into my soft pillow and lazily stretching my limbs before curling up into a little ball under the warm blankets.

Not long after, I let out a massive yawn as I slowly start drifting off to sleep.

Today will be reminded as a good day.

Thank you, Hwang Hyunjin.