Revelations [malexmale]

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty (Hades)

I was a grade-A asshole.

Okay, so maybe that was the biggest fucking understatement of the year, but for once, I actually believed it.

But I'd never been very good at communication, or planning. Spontaneity was my middle name and douchebaggery was my game. And I'd just won the jackpot with what I'd done to Lucifer.

I grimaced as I stood in the place called No Man's Land that was settled between the mountains of my realm and Lucifer's. The place was more than just No Man's Land. It was a wasteland between the mountains where nothing grew. No plants, no trees. The greenery, what little there was around here, stopped abruptly around this space. Scratch that; it wasn't No Man's Land. It was No Living Thing Land. Nothing, but volcanic rocks that seemed to almost be washed out in color, as if even the most powerful substance in the world couldn't touch this place.

Because seriously, who would've fucking guessed this entire thing could be solved with goddamn colors?

I'd had a weird feeling that it would be something like this. All the talk of the Source not speaking like we thought it did. And the few times I'd actually heard the Source speak. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. A strange clarifying, a strange calm that I'd only ever felt whenever I was with Lucifer-- and wasn't that fucking cheesy as balls?

I inhaled the air of the wasteland around me, the sulfur from deep beneath the crust and rock, the smoke that filtered up through the caves in the mountains. Smoke that Lucifer had come to love the smell of-- something I only knew because he always commented on it when he was all over me.

I reached up to rake a hand through my black hair, watching it fall over my shoulders.

"Hades! Hades, come back!"

Lucifer's scream still rang in my ears. It made me uncomfortable, as if my skin was shriveling up too tight over my bones, bones that rattled in my body. Breathing hurt. It was a physical pain to hear him scream like his entire world was ending, and who the fuck thought for a single second that something like that would be related to me?

Okay, I mean, I'd made plenty of people scream bloody murder around me, whether in rage or fear, but this was different. This level of fear wasn't of me, but for me. There was a raw horror in Lucifer's voice as he realized what I was planning. It was why I hadn't said anything, why I'd just decided last minute that this was the only way.

And god, I felt stupid for doing this.

Stupid because I knew I was stronger with that fucking angel. Over the years, it had become clear to me that Lucifer wasn't just a good fuck, wasn't just a lover, not even just a... friend. He was something entirely different, something no word could describe. I couldn't translate the word the Source had given me to describe us. The only thing I could think of was soulmate, but even that seemed far too beneath what we had.

I'd never thought I'd be saying that, never thought I'd feel this way.

Hell, I'd spent years denying it. Lucifer was just my lover. That was it. Another consort that I brought to bed, spent time with, considered a friend. I didn't want to go as far as to claim him as something more. It made it too real, too serious, and the last time I'd tried to fucking do that, it was destroyed. Actually, every time I tried to claim something as mine, it fucking fell apart. Even with my kids.

But it was getting exhausting. Pretending this was nothing more than just an intense friendship. Denial only took you so far, before logic settled in and you just had to face the fact.

I... fucking loved Lucifer.

No, it went beyond that, but that seemed what everyone said when they found what they called the one.