Love For Sale Book 1 (Self-published)

CH4: I've Got A Dark Alley & A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth

Hindi naman ako ipinanganak na dukha. In fact, kaming dalawa ng Kuya ko ay nag-aaral dati sa isang private school at pareho kaming hatid-sundo, may sariling driver, walang problema sa baon, at inaalagaan ng kanya-kanya naming yaya.

Ang Daddy ko kasi ay seaman – kapitan ng isang international cruise ship kaya masasabi kong maginhawa ang naging pamumuhay namin.

I was twelve when my father died of a heart attack. I could still remember how I was ushered inside the principal's office and found my brother there. I could also remember thinking that the school's head must have found out that it was my friends and I who vandalized one of the school's comfort rooms by writing the names of our crushes using permanent markers inside the cubicles; and it was still crystal clear how my brother and I were sent home without any explanation as if their sad faces and half-hearted and unnecessary apologies would suffice.

After that was a blur – my mother's teary account of how she had received a call telling her the sad news; how my father's body was to be sent home after all the needed documents were accomplished; and how my father's wake was to be in someone else's house because they were his legal family.

Oo, kabit ang nanay ko. Noon ko lang din nalaman. Noon ko lang napagtagpi-tagpi kung bakit tuwing may okasyon, our celebration with my father had always been a day late or a day early – 'yung Pasko, nagiging December 23 o December 26, 'yung Bagong Taon, nagiging January 2, 'yung Valentine's Day, it's either February 13 o February 15.

It was painful when my father died but the pain of his death was eclipsed by the pain the truth his passing had brought.

"Claire, mag-agahan ka muna bago ka matulog," narinig kong sabi ng kapatid ko sa labas ng kuwarto. "Claire...? Naku natulog na naman yata ang batang ito nang hindi kumakain—"

I opened the door. "Hi, Kuya..."

"Mabuti gising ka pa. Kumain ka muna bago matulog. Magkaka-ulcer ka na d'yan sa ginagawa mo, eh."

Two-bedroom apartment ang inuupahan ng kapatid ko at ng asawa n'ya. At dahil doon ako nakatira ay napilitan tuloy ang yaya ng pamangkin kong sa sala matulog – isang sitwasyong labis kong ikinakonsensya. Pero, sabi nga nila, minsan nawawala ang konsensya kapag merong matinding pangangailangan.

"Kuya, inaantok na talaga ako, eh, mamaya na lang ako kakain."

"Ano ba naman 'yung kumain ka kahit ilang subo lang? Ginagawa mo nang normal 'yung natutulog ka kahit walang laman 'yang tiyan mo."

"Kumain na ako sa opisina, Kuya," I replied yawning. "Aalis na ba kayo?"

Tumango ang kapatid.

"Sige, ingat."

"Tumawag nga pala si Mommy, uuwi ka ba ngayong day-off mo? Ang tagal mo nang hindi umuuwi sa Dasma"

"Sayang kasi, Kuya, 'yung OT kaya baka sa susunod na lang ako uuwi. Sige tatawagan ko si Mommy mamaya pagkagising ko o bago ako pumasok ng trabaho."

"O, OT ka nang OT hindi ka na nagpapahinga."

"Mabuti nga pinapayagan ako, Kuya, eh. Mataas kasi stats ko kaya siguro hinahayaan nila akong mag-OT."

"Naks naman, ang galing at ang sipag talaga ng kapatid ko. Baka naman maging milyonarya ka na n'yan?" my brother kidded.

"Sana. Hirap kaya maging mahirap," I said.

The smile immediately disappeared from my brother's face as he sighed.

"O, ano 'yan? Bakit may pagbuntong-hininga, Kuya?"

"Pasensya ka na, Claire, ha, ni hindi man lang ako nakatulong sa'yo kahit n'ung nag-a-apply ka. Hindi man lang ako nakapag-abot kahit pamasahe man lang."