Love For Sale Book 1 (Self-published)

CH 23: It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love

I was surprise but it did not last long. Maybe it was the beer, maybe because it was his birthday, or maybe because it was something else – something that I didn't want to think about.

His lips were soft, warm, and persuasive – the lips of someone who knows exactly how to kiss.

And who's fond of kissing random girls...the thought drifted inside my head. What the hell, Claire!

I pushed Barry away. "Sorry..." I murmured.

"For what?" he asked.

"For not pushing you too soon therefore losing the excuse to slap you," I said.

The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile. "Well, you can slap me still if it will make you feel better—"

"I'm moving out."

"What?"

"Matutulog lang ako saglit 'tapos aalis na ako rito."

"Saan ka pupunta?"

"Sa bahay ng kaibigan ko." I stood up.

"Claire..." he pushed to his feet, too. "Claire, ano ba...?"

"Pansin ko lang trip mo ako, eh. Balak mo bang totohanin 'yung pagbubuntis ko? Is this what this is all about? 'Yun ba 'yung nakita mong solusyon d'un sa problema mo?"

"Pucha..."

"Pucha talaga. Barry, ang dami kong problema. Ang dami kong issue sa buhay. Alam mo naman siguro 'yun, 'di ba, kasi hindi ko naman 'yun itinago sa'yo? Nandito ako sa bahay mo dahil nangailangan ako ng tulong. Tinulungan kita kay Leah at d'un sa ganap mo sa pamilya mo dahil marunong akong tumanaw ng utang na loob. But, I am not someone who'll jump to bed with you just because I am grateful. Alam kong cheap ang dating ko, baka nga kaladkarin pa, eh, kasi sinong babae naman ang papayag na makitira sa bahay ng isang lalaki—"

"Hindi 'yan totoo. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko naisip na cheap ka o kaladkarin."

"H'wag ka nang magkaila. You thought I was easy. You thought I would be an easy lay. Kaya ka tumulong sa akin—"

"Tang-ina, Claire. Masyadong masakit na 'yang akusasyon mo. Sex lang ba sa tingin mo ang habol ko sa'yo?"

I shrugged. "Ano pa nga ba? At pasensya na, ha, hindi kita mapagbigyan, hindi pa kasi ako gan'un ka desperada," I said before I headed to my bedroom.

Gusto kong umiyak, naaawa na kasi ako sa sarili ko. Anong klaseng tanga ba naman kasi ako at paniwalang-paniwala ako na walang ibang kailangan si Barry sa akin? Na gusto lang n'yang tumulong? May lalaki ba namang gan'un kabusilak ang kalooban—

I shooed my thoughts away. Claire, don't go there. Stop the self-pity. Alam mong walang maitutulong sa'yo 'yan. Besides, you sensed it coming but did nothing...

Hindi ko ipagkakaila, ramdam ko naman 'yung pagnanasa ni Barry sa akin kung 'yun ba talaga ang tawag d'un. Pwede rin kasing bored lang s'ya at nangangailangan ng aliw.

But, I had I thought that I could keep him at arm's length; I had thought that I had mastered the subtle art of keeping men at arm's length.

I opened the closet to take my clothes out carefully folding them before piling them inside my bags. I lay down on the bed as soon as I was done packing and was asleep in an instant.

Hours later, I woke up more tired than I was before I slept.

Hay...

I would have loved to just lie in bed and do nothing like what normal would people do during their days off kaya lang naisip kong hindi nga pala ako normal at lalong mas hindi normal ang buhay ko.