one // season one

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"Are you sure this is a good idea, Cass? You did only just get released a day ago."

"It's okay, Freya. I'll be good, and you'll be with me."

Cassie had just gotten released from the hospital yesterday after a suicide attempt, and she was already insisting that we go to a party. I had been released nearly a month ago, but was still on edge about Cassie's idea, so I don't know how she had it in her to want to go. But she said that it would make her happy, and she was my best friend. So whatever made her happy, made me happy.

"Why are you so eager to go to this party anyway?" I asked as I wiped clear gloss on my pink lips. Cassie was staring at herself in the mirror, studying her thighs. She was so small that it often scared me. When ever I hugged her all I felt was bone, yet she still thought she was fat.

"Someone needs me. This boy, Sid, wants me to take his virginity. Isn't that lovely?" She asks.

"I guess," I say, humoring her.

We finish getting ready. While Cassie drinks from a bottle of vodka, I dig through my bedside drawer and grab a bottle of pills. My anxiety is starting to get to me as the clock ticks, the time of the party getting closer and closer, so I pop a couple of my anxiety pills and take the vodka from Cassie and gulp some down. Not exactly safe what I was doing, but It helped calm me down.

There's a knock on the door and Cass gets excited. "Wow, that must be Michelle. Are you ready?"

I stare at myself in the mirror, making sure I look fine. I looked good, but felt like shit, so it probably wasn't the best idea to take another shot of vodka, but I do anyways.

"Ready."

***

Cassie's "friend" Michelle was pretty, and from the way she treated other people, she knew she was. She talked down to Cassie, so I immediately knew I didn't like her from the moment I met her. She was extremely vain too, and had an unbelievable amount of confidence, which isn't exactly a bad thing, until she started making me feel shitty about myself because of how she talked about herself.

"Yeah, but my boyfriend, Tony, he's super fit. Definitely the fittest and coolest guy at college. Most people think thats why we're together, because we're just both the hottest, but we really do like each other," she tells me as we walk to the party. Cassie's holding my hand, not because she needed to, but because I needed her to. I'm not super comfortable around strangers thanks to my anxiety, and Cass knew that better than anyone, so she made sure to do everything in her power to make me feel calm. She squeezed my hand lightly, letting me know that she was there.

"Tony? That wouldn't be Tony Stonem, would it?" I managed to ask.

Michelle smiles, "Yeah it is. You know him?"

I was nearly positive everyone in Bristol knew who Tony Stonem was. He was extremely well known. Even people at my college knew who he was. A lot of my girl friends fancied him, while most of my guy friends wanted to beat his ass. Normally because he tried to hook up with their girlfriends, and often succeeded. I wondered if Michelle knew that.

"Yeah, I've heard of him," is all I say.

We turn down a street with huge ass houses. Michelle gets out her phone to look at the address someone had sent her.

"Tony said it's right up here- Oh I see him! Tony!"

She yells and begins running, dragging Cassie and I with her as he grabs Cassie's hand. I'd never seen Tony in person before, but he is good looking. And tall. Extremely tall.

Michelle lets go of Cassie and embraces Tony, then proceeds to suck his face. Cassie's twirling in circles and I stand there silently. I don't even realize there's a boy next to Tony until he clears his throat, trying to get his attention.

"Where is everyone?" Michelle asks when her and Tony pull away from one another.

"Not coming," Tony says. "And Sid has to sell or else he's in shit with his dealer."

"Hang on," the boy wearing glasses and a beanie beside Tony says. "My dealer?"

I assume thats Sid. The boy that Cassie said wants her to take his virginity tonight.

"Anyway," Michelle intervenes. "I brought Cassie. Cassie, you remember Sid, right?"

"Yeah, wow, lovely... no. But I like that your funny looking. That's cute."

Charming, Cass.

"How's the treatment going, Cassie?" Tony asks, probably trying to change the topic.

"Oh, its cool," she tells him. "I wear a white dress, and I can eat yogurt, Cup-a-Soup, and hazelnuts now... I'm not sick if they let me play with the cats."

Everyones giving each other confused looks except for me. They're probably thinking that she's drugged up or something, but little do they know, that just how Cassie acts. You get used to it after a little while.

"Yeah, its like... Hazy days, you know?" Cassie says.

Tony nods. "Well thats encouraging. And you are?"

I notice his eyes on me when he says the last part. I also notice the way his eyes look me up and down, despite his girlfriend hanging on his arm. Some girls might've found that attractive, especially the little crooked smile he gave me after he did it, but since I have standards, I found it repulsing.

"Freya. I'm Cassie's friend," I simply say.

"So Cassie, this is Sid," Michelle says, grabbing Cassie by the hand and leading her over to the boy. "He's gonna be looking after you tonight."

"Oh, would you. Wow?" She exclaims. "Will you look after Freya too?"

I shake my head. "No, I-uh-I'm good."

"And Sid's got a whole bag of drugs." Tony tells her.

Cassie smiles. "Wow, thats so nice! And I bet you won't even make me eat anything."

Sid's eyes go wide before he nods. "Oh, no. No."

"Thank you," Cassie says happily before hugging him, catching him off guard.

"Um, alright then," Tony interjects. "Lets go in and shift this ounce, yeah?"

"Its three ounces," Sid tells him. "I got three ounces."

He then proceeds to bull out a large bag of drugs. My eyes go wide.

"Fuck," is all Tony manages to say.

This is gonna be an eventful night.

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