THREE

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"They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger

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"They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger."

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"Hi, guys." Phoebe walked into the coffee shop.

"Hey. Oh, how'd it go?" I put down my mug on the coffee table.

"Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said, 'We should do this again'." She explained, making us all groan.

"What? He said 'We should do this again'. That's good, right?" Rachel furrowed her brows.

"No. Loosely translated, 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'." Monica replied to her.

"Since when?" Rachel walked out form behind the counter and came over to us.

"Since always." Joey shrugged his shoulders and grabbed my cup of coffee. "It's like dating language. You know, like, it's like 'It's not you' means "It is you'." 

"Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm going to be dating leather–wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'." Chandler added.

"I've got one. 'See you soon' means 'I hope I never see you again'." I gave another example.

"Even 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'." Phoebe chuckled.

"And everybody knows this?" Rachel looked at the six of us.

"Oh, yeah. It cushions the blow." Joey responded.

"Like when you're a kid and your dog dies, they put it to sleep and say it went off to some farm." Chandler spoke up.

"That's funny. No, because our parents actually did send our dog up to live on a farm." Ross pointed at Monica.

"Uh...Ross?" She looked at her older brother.

"What, hello? The Milner's Farm in Connecticut?" He glanced at her before the rest of us. "The Milners had this unbelievable farm. They had horses and rabbits to chase and..." We all kind of gave him the same look of 'you're serious?' and pity. "Oh my God, Chi Chi!" He realized. 

A little later, I was with Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross at the coffee shop explaining what size a guy's...thing usually is.

"They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger." Monica and  I showed them. The guys did the same thing with their hands.

"That's ridiculous." Joey scoffed.

"Can I use either thumb?" Ross asked me. I leaned back in the arm chair and nodded my head. Then Rachel came over with our drinks.

"Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me." She held up the tray. "Decaf cappuccino for Joey. Coffee black for Ross. Hot chocolate for Chandler. Latte for Monica. And iced tea for Suparna." She handed us our drinks completely wrong. "I am getting good at this." She smiled at us.

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