Evol

chapter twenty-five

Saturday 15th June, 2019

My mind went blank.

I felt my body tense; nothing moved. My eyes were stuck wide open, Julian's curls, silkier than I'd expected, brushing in them.

Julian's mouth was warm and soft, pressing hard. Mine was still, unmoving. Electricity zipped up and down my body, fire in my veins. I couldn't move. I was exploding.

The force of his mouth pushed me back, but I didn't resist.

After a few seconds of burning, he pulled away. My heart told me to grab him back, but my head had control. I stayed where I was, leant back on the sinks.

"Hit me," Julian's voice was rough. My eyes moved from his chest to his face. Brown eyes downcast with shame, shock jolted me as I saw the pink in his cheeks. Julian was blushing?

That unfroze me. "What?" I gasped.

"Hit me," he repeated. "I deserve it."

But I didn't want to hit him. I knew I should. Yet, my whole body was tingling, and my mouth had been burned, and all I wanted to do was feel that incredible warmth in my body again.

"Why did you do that?"

Julian's eyes flickered to my face, and away again.

"Why, Julian?" I straightened up to minimise the height difference.

He stepped back, "I didn't mean to."

"If that was the case, you would have stopped straight away."

Finally, he looked into my eyes. They were wide, brown, and slightly crazy. I wasn't scared though; I could handle Julian crazy. "Tell me, Julian."

He ran his hands through his hair, turning around. It gave me a chance to gather my thoughts; the harsh white spotlights above cut through this electric haze around me.

The painful realisation struck suddenly; this wasn't something special to Julian. He kissed girls all the time - and more. Brendan had said so himself. It was probably a natural instinct to someone like Julian, to kiss girls.

Fire rushed through me, and not the good kind. Embarrassed that I hadn't shoved him off, I pushed my hair behind my ears and stepped toward the door.

"I get it, Julian," my voice was quiet, "kissing girls is what you do, right? This is nothing unusual for you."

As I reached for the door handle, Julian pulled me back to face him. Stunned by how close he was, I looked up at his face.

Julian stared down at me from under his lashes, eyes like thunder. "What did you just say?"

I stared, unblinking. "I know what you're like with girls. Just because you haven't been with one recently doesn't mean I wouldn't find out about your habits."

His mouth curled into a snarl, opening to say something, when the door flung open next to us. I jumped away from him as a young girl strode inside. She stopped dead, her green eyes widening, as she took in the scene. When she looked at Julian, I saw her stumble back.

Glancing at Julian, his expression was livid. He was almost shaking, glaring at the poor girl.

"Hey," I whacked his arm. "Stop it."

Julian turned on me. "Stop what?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the girl inching toward the door. "No," I said to her, "wait. Don't go, we were just leaving."

With one hard look at Julian, I stepped away from him and headed for the door. Once I was out, I leant on the wall outside, thankful for the cool tiles, and closed my eyes. I tried to process what just happened, but my head was a fuzzy mess.