Nap Queen

Eighteen

"Absolutely not."

"Mom it's what's good for my mental health. I'm not staying home. Once they discharge me I'm going back to school." I declare.

I'd been fighting with her for well over an hour about this, and I've only uncovered what I already knew: She only wants to keep me home because she's scared. I'm not though. Accidents happen, I will not be put in a place of fear any longer, the fear that one slip up of something that at the end of the day I can't control would bring the end of my high school life.

"I'm not talking about it anymore" she responds. 

"Good evening ladies" Dr. Trivium announces himself with a knock.

"Good evening Doctor." My mom replies.

"Dr. Trivium, I should try to go about life like normal right? My condition is as controlled as best it can be with the medicine I take, there's no reason for me to miss out on my childhood for something I can't control beyond medicine is there?" I voice my argument.

"Well ye---" 

"Doctor may we speak outside." My mom interrupts just as he was about to side with me. I shoot her a look as the door closes behind them.

It doesn't stay closed for long though because Brandon comes in. 

"Hey E, Camille is here, and she's being kinda weird but are you up for visitor." 

"Please!" I beg. He leaves and when the door opens again it's Camille's head.

"Hey Evie I know this is putting you on the spot but can Asher and Audrey Rose come in?"

Oh.

Was I ready for Asher to know? Well, I do know his biggest secret....

"Of course."

Camille walks in fully then opens the door for Asher who holds Audrey Rose in his arms. He has a look of concern on his face and I just give him a smile.

"Are you alright Evie?" He asks.

"Yeah, this bed is my second home. I'm not sick in any way that Audrey Rose could catch.... could I hold her?" I plead.

"Um sure?" He hands her over and I sit her up in my lap wrapping my arms around her. I feel better immediately. 

Asher pulls a chair up next to Camille's and plays with Audrey Rose on my lap while I tell him the whole story. He listens well and even gives me his full attention once Audrey Rose is asleep in my lap.

"That explains why you didn't want to babysit Audrey Rose." He remarks at the end.

"Yeah, I didn't want to be in charge of her and accidentally have an attack." I say.

"Well you're very brave. I had absolutely no idea what was going on." 

"Thank you for understanding." I was truly relieved that he hadn't made it into a bigger thing than it was and didn't regard me pitifully once the story was told.

Visiting hours ended and they left with the baby. I didn't miss the way they looked at each other though. I was happy for Camille.

Since their visit, I haven't been allowed to see anyone but Brandon and Mom. 

The days drug on and I was put onto several new meds to see the affects. Decidedly once I was allowed to leave I would be taking a new pill that was a fun green color. Of course I couldn't leave yet though.

In what I'm sure was an attempt of my mother to keep me from school I was put on a clinical trial that lasted two weeks. Everyday it was wake up record my brainwaves. Three times a week put me through the MRI. Two times a week get blood drawn.

Every hour stretched to an unbearable length and I missed my friends. I couldn't wait to be eighteen and in charge of my own medical things. I didn't need to come to the hospital at all, my mom is just worrisome. 

It's not until three weeks after my attack that I'm set free. 

I go home for the first time in a long time and I head straight for my bed. I almost cry when I sink into the sheets. My mom announces that she's going to fill my prescription, but I barely hear her because I'm too busy enjoying the feeling of falling asleep with no wires attached to me.

My dreams are haunted with continuous reminders that I've missed a lot. 

I wake with a start as the sky is getting darker and I go downstairs for a snack. Brandon is already in the kitchen when I get there and he looks very excited. I give him a what? look and he spits it out.

"Mom says you can go back to school!"

"Are you serious?" I squeal.

"100% E," He hugs me and I cry tears of joy. 

"Wait why?" 

"She had a talk with Dr. Trivium and he spoke to the overall benefits. Also I may or may not have told her that I'd ask Mia to the Snow Ball."

"Really? Oh I'm so happy for you! She'll be so excited!" It was no secret how much my mom loved Mia and the only person who wanted the two of them together more than me was mom.

"This is great" I exclaim spinning around the kitchen.

Things will get better, I'll be allowed to stay in school, I'll go to the Snow Ball, I'll take my meds and stop letting fear control me... I'll talk to Liam.

Liam.

Leeeeeeee-uhmmmmmm.

li-um

Liam.

Would he want me? Was it a meaningless kiss to him, or did he feel the same as me? How did I feel?

All that matters is getting back into the swing of things. I'll just hope that maybe, maybe I'll get the chance to taste his lips again.