Nap Queen

Thirty Nine

Liam

Christmas with Evie's family was awesome. Even Brandon is cooler than I ever would've though. She liked the helmet I got her. I grin and shake my head. I'm so whipped.

Sam is downstairs making pancakes and FaceTiming Oliver, and I can hear the laughter floating up. Just before I left last night Evie pressed a box into my hand.

"Open it tomorrow," she'd said.

I promised her I would and now I can't help but stare at it where it sits across the room. What the hell am I doing? It's a fucking box. I snatch it up and take the lid off.

The box is full of little letters and the lid has pictures of us pasted all over it's inside. I feel like I've know her forever, and the pictures she has of our winter break adventures and snowco and more have me sure of it.

I think back to the walls on her second floor. Maybe I've earned a place there. Mental note: check walls again soon.

The letters read things like:

Read when you're sad
Read when we fight
Read when I make a big mistake
Read when you know
Read when you're sick of me
Read when you need me
Read when you need a confidence boost
Read before you fight
Read when I'm far away
Read if anything happens to us

Some of her insinuations bother me. When I know what? What does she mean if anything happens? I decide to leave it and ask her later, opting for the letter that says Read Now.

Liam,
Merry Christmas! I'm so glad I got to spend it with you this year, you've been my best gift so far and I wouldn't change a thing about it. I'm so glad you kissed me that day against the lockers and I'm so glad we've become so close. I love you so much and I'm honored that you've let me into your heart and into your life.

Love,
Evie

***

Her letter had me crying long after I read it. No one had ever been so happy to be in my orbit. She was honored to be with me. Not ashamed, not afraid. I was so excited I ended up telling Sam about it just so there was another person alive who knew that she cared about me so much.

Now I watch her climb down her roof early in the morning. The helmet I got her is tucked under her arm and she's bundled up to go see my mom.

"Good morning," she grins and blushes at my obvious appreciation of her this morning.

"Hey." I breathe out, pulling her to me and crashing our lips together. She's so warm and welcoming.

When we finally part she pulls her helmet over her head and snuggles into my back. I revel in the feel of her for a moment and then we're off.

The sun rises as we make the trip to the cemetery. Trees whips past the further we get from the city and no other cars are on the road. It's surreal to be with her right now. I can't imagine losing her.

My breath turns to vapor as I breathe in the icy wind. I know my nose and cheeks will be red from the cold, I can feel Evie burrowing into my back to protect her own face. I was right to bring hot chocolate.

Eventually we pull into the parking lot and I help her down. Helmets put away, we go the remaining distance on foot. Snow crunches under our feet and I grab her gloved hand with my own.

We don't talk. We don't need to. Quiet falls over the cemetery, the sound of our walking the only thing echoing in the space. I know the way to her spot by heart.

I take a deep breath before rounding the corner and coming to a stop in front of my mom's grave. Evie catches her breath and lets go of my hand.

"Merry Christmas, mom." I say softly. "I brought my—girlfriend here to say hi. She's different than the others, she's smart and kind and you would've loved her."

She glances at me momentarily and then turns and pulls a little wreath out of her backpack. Stepping forward she leans it against the headstone.

"Hi, Mrs. Davis. It's so good to meet you finally, I'm Evie Walker," she pulls me forward so we're standing together hand in hand. "Thank you for being so good to Liam. He talks about you all the time and even though it took a while to see it, he has the kindest heart thanks to you. I wish I could have met the woman who gave me his smile, but it's enough to know that you're still with him all the time."

I have to shut my eyes and block out her intense stare. My heart hurts for Evie. I love her. I...

"I love you." I say. Her eyes flick to mine in surprise, then they close.

Without much preamble she falls to the ground. There's hardly any sound as the fresh snow blankets her. Except the sickening crack of her arm on the concrete.

"Evie?" Panic rises in my chest and I scramble down to her side. Her eyes are closed gently and deep foggy breaths escape her lips. Is she sleeping?

This is the same thing that happened when I kissed her. She fell down and hit her head on the lockers. What is going on? My heart beat pounds in my ears and I call for an ambulance. There's no way I can bring her to the hospital on my bike.

Her arm is twisted at a strange angle and I know she's broken it. It must hurt badly, why is she so quiet?

Minutes pass like hours and I'm stunned still by the fear coursing in my veins. Everyone always leaves me goddammit. Hell, I'm sitting by my dead mothers's grave holding my hurt and unconscious girlfriend in my arms.

Tears are about to fall when she bolts upright scaring the shit out of me. She screams and cradles her arm.

"What happened?" She cries beginning to hyperventilate. I blink incredulously, I would like to know what happened too.

"You fell, Evie you just fell to the ground and landed on your arm." I hold her in my lap and try to make sense of the situation. "What's going on?"

"Don't hate me, please don't hate m—"

Her eyes flutter shut again and she goes limp in my arms. Once again falling into a sleep state. I'm numb with shock as the first responders pull up and pry me off of her. They give me a blanket and sit me in the back of the ambulance with her.

She wakes up again while they try and set her arm and cries out wildly searching for me. I hold her hand deftly and the medic team is confused as well when she instantly falls silent and begins snoring gently.

There's no coincidence here. I don't know what's going on, but it's something. Something she obviously knew about and didn't tell me.

My mom was sick for along time and never told me, she died because of it and I'd had to find out from her doctor.

An unwelcome thought enters my mind and I have to let her hand go and turn away. She'd let me think her honest. She'd let me get my hopes up about us. The medics are frantic with their radios talking about disease and getting a neuro consult at the hospital. This was bigger than a broken arm.

Evie has been lying to me.