Nap Queen

Thirty One

When I wake up he's gone.

I don't know what to think. He's just left. I sit up and run my hands through my hair. It's fine, I won't dwell on it for now. I have to go and get my nails done with the girls for tomorrow anyways. My first school dance.

I smile big and head down to take a shower. I almost scream. Liam has written his name on my forehead! I see it when I look in the mirror, I can't with him. This must be his version of leaving a note. I notice as I undress that the hickies he gave me the other day have faded to nothing. I shake my head.

That boy.

I shower quick and get ready with some light makeup and dress in a jean skirt and a t-shirt. I see that Liam has left his jacket on my bed and add it to my outfit. I'll pretend it was an accident. I text Mia and fiddle with my phone until she gets here. She's picking me up to go to the nail salon and we're meeting Camille and Lauren there.

We had a moment last night, a turning point. I loved it.

At the back of my mind something eats at me though: I was fine after my attack at the party. My whole life I've been led to believe that if I have an attack and don't go to the hospital I could die, but I was perfectly okay this time. Now I'm thinking that the only harm that comes from an attack is in the dangers of my environment.

How could I allow myself to be so manipulated? Of course having attacks was normal, I can't help it, it's part of my disorder but for so long they were dramatized and now I don't care. I really don't. I could have one right now and still go get my nails done in fifteen minutes.

The thought makes me ecstatic. My phone chimes and I see that Mia is here. I run downstairs and take my pills, despite my new found courage, I do know that it's important to take my medicine.

Mia and I are grabbing breakfast on the way so I just run out the door shouting a goodbye into the house before shutting it. I jump into her car and I can't hide the smile on my face. She turns the music down and pulls out of my driveway.

"Spill, right now bitch." She demands with a glint in her eye.

"Liam and I are dating, for real now and we are going to the ball together." I squeal. I'm so glad to be telling someone! I'm so happy about it. "I'm excited Mia, it's all so crazy and I just... he makes me so happy."

"Damn girl okay, okay. I'm sorry about ganging up on you in the bathroom the other day, I can see how happy he makes you so I'm assuming you worked things out." She celebrates with me keeping her eyes on the road. "I support you all the way."

"Yeah we did," I sigh with content fidgeting with the rose patch on Liam's jacket.

We decide to save the juicy things for when we get to the nail place and can talk with the other girls, and so turn up the music and dance until we pull up to Starbucks. Mia orders a dragon fruit drink for herself and gets me my turtle mocha and two bacon cheddar croissants.

On the short drive over to the salon Mia gushes about ick, Brandon and how cute they'll look all matching in their outfits tomorrow. I new stress falls over me. Every year we all take pictures together, even though I've never been allowed to go to the actual dance. Brandon and Mia would both bring a different random cheerleader or football boy with, but now that they're together, Camille and I will be the ones with the outsiders.

Our friend groups are merging, slowly but surely, and tomorrow we'll all be smashed together. Liam with me, Asher with Camille, Sam with Ollie, Brandon with Mia, and Boston with Lauren. I hope it all goes okay.

We hop out of her car and Mia guides me into the nail place, Camille and Lauren are already here, feet soaking. I rush to pick out my colors and decide on light blue to match my dress. I sit next to Camille and Mia sits next to me. We're gonna be here for a while for pedicures and then acrylics for everyone, the nice ladies get started and we exchange greetings amongst ourselves. So I start off a group conversation.

"Camille, Asher is 100% welcome to come tomorrow night after the dance. Liam and Sam are coming too." I say. This gets everyone's attention.

"Really?" Lauren raises an eyebrow skeptically, "Brandon knows this?"

"I asked him first," I laugh. She knows all too well.

"So I take it things with you and Liam are right again?" Camille pokes.

"I'd say as good as you and Asher, Camille," I tease.

For the next three hours I spend time catching up with my best girlfriends and I love it. Camille spills about Asher and Audrey Rose, leaving out that she's an infant and they live alone in a loft on Main hiding from their parents. They really have gotten close, apparently he's been modeling for Camille in return for her babysitting and he asked her to the Snow Ball just like I suggested.

Mia gives me a nervous look before admitting that her and Brandon are officially dating. She receives lots of squeals from us and is very happy. I'm so happy for them, it's been too long. Brandon is going to college in the fall too, I hope they get a chance to talk about that. I'd hate for them to end before they've begun.

Lauren and Boston are the same old same old. Absolutely the cutest most Instagram-worthy couple ever, like always. They decided to do their winter senior pictures together and she promises to send us some of her favorites before she starts posting them.

Which of course launches us into talk about winter break which begins next week. I can't believe Christmas is in just 12 days. I wonder briefly what to get Liam, and of course what to get Audrey Rose. For Asher... well what do you give someone who has everything or otherwise could buy it himself? I'll have to go shopping for Mom and the rest if my friends as well.

By the time we escape the salon, it's lunchtime so we all agree to go to Panera Bread. Our nails are beautiful and look a little dressy on our casual garb. I comment on this, causing everyone to look at me and notice that I'm wearing Liam's jacket again.

We laugh and talk and joke around for the rest of the day, and with thoughts of Liam in my head I close my eyes and get a few hours of sleep. Tomorrow, we'll be going to the Ball and then he'll be spending the night, here in my room.

I'm excited, but a small voice tells me I should be nervous.